I'm missing the days when heaven and hell were black and white. I don't know why, but today I'm missing those days.
Anne Rice said "The purpose of life is to love, and to better understand the beauty and intricacy of all things."
I lived by those words every day. But then, like most of us- I got sucked into the hurly-burly of adult life. Sure, I got disturbing call from SARS today saying that I havent filed a return since 2009 and that I already owe them a fuckload of cash. I dont own a house (who really does?), I dont have a retirement fund and I just got a car the other day. Hello? Am I stuck in adolescence- pretending to be an adult?
And, why the holy fucking Batman do I always insist on including a barrage of rhetoric in whatever I write? Symptom? I really hope so, otherwise Im screwed.
Ive been blaming ECT for many years. Many, many years. But Im starting to think that thats become way to convenient a scapegoat. Yes, the electric current that was pumped into my underaged brain changed the way I thought and felt. Yes, the years of lets try XYZ drug since ABC doesnt seem to be doing the job probably played some part in who I am today, but I cant use that as an excuse anymore.
Im looking forward to the day I can dream of the infinite again. To dip my toes into the fucking endless ocean of human kindness and possibility. Jesus! To feel the sun on my skin and be able to say, Fuck it, Im here and this is now- lets rock this bitch!
Anne Rice said "The purpose of life is to love, and to better understand the beauty and intricacy of all things."
I lived by those words every day. But then, like most of us- I got sucked into the hurly-burly of adult life. Sure, I got disturbing call from SARS today saying that I havent filed a return since 2009 and that I already owe them a fuckload of cash. I dont own a house (who really does?), I dont have a retirement fund and I just got a car the other day. Hello? Am I stuck in adolescence- pretending to be an adult?
And, why the holy fucking Batman do I always insist on including a barrage of rhetoric in whatever I write? Symptom? I really hope so, otherwise Im screwed.
Ive been blaming ECT for many years. Many, many years. But Im starting to think that thats become way to convenient a scapegoat. Yes, the electric current that was pumped into my underaged brain changed the way I thought and felt. Yes, the years of lets try XYZ drug since ABC doesnt seem to be doing the job probably played some part in who I am today, but I cant use that as an excuse anymore.
Im looking forward to the day I can dream of the infinite again. To dip my toes into the fucking endless ocean of human kindness and possibility. Jesus! To feel the sun on my skin and be able to say, Fuck it, Im here and this is now- lets rock this bitch!