Can't tap, though I'd love to...

The skates are pretty "madmax"; derby does that to them. Lots of gaffer's tape and custom toe-guards. When those plastic ones go, I'll start cutting up old knobby tires to use.

Ha! You do that every night and your downstairs neighbors would know you as the creepy guy that dresses like Fred Astair and bangs around the apartment all fucking night. Real lady slayer. But, you know, it's never too late to learn!

But I hear ya. After I saw "42nd Street" on Broadway I swore I would become a tap dancer. Swing was a more social alternative, though, and blues dancing is like having sex on the dance floor.

I think I will adulterate my next bike with stickers and tape. I have two brothers that would be overjoyed if I bought a used bike and asked them to help me rebuild it, but since neither lives close and I'm about as handy as a triple-amputee Helen Keller I think I'd better stick to a new bike!

I took tap dancing lessons when I was twelve. We danced to a Traditional American Folk Song which will remain nameless for our final performance. It was really hard and I was in tears for much of it. The End.

Eleanor Powell sure has some fine gams. Whoo!

I know it's not strictly tap, but: