This was the conversation had in my bed last night

GoWings: If you need to wake me up to go to the hospital, punch me in the face
Me: Laughing hysterically, then crying in pain cause laughing hurts
GoWings: Oh don't laugh! It hurts! Well..... you could try other things first, but you can always punch me in the face if you really can't wake me up.
Me: Ok honey. I think I will try something else before resorting to punching you ok?

Seriously, I love him. He makes me laugh. Always.

So I came home from work yesterday after almost passing out in the bathroom at work. I had a sudden and intense stabbing pain right where my right ovary is. I barely made it home. Sitting hurt, standing hurt... I was trying to wait it out and the pain got so bad I called my OB's office and had the doctor on call paged. She called me back and said that with my history, it sounded like I might have a cyst that burst. Basically she said if the pain stayed the same or lessened, to stay home in bed and take Advil and rest. If it got worse, go to the ER. Gee thanks for the advice! I know I know, she was really helping but it is frustrating in the moment when there is really nothing they can do for you. So I took a bunch of drugs and curled in the fetal position for awhile. Eventually the drugs kicked in and the pain lessened enough to sleep it off. I am cramping today fairly badly but at least the stabbing pain is gone unless I touch my right ovary area. Being a girl seriously sucks sometimes...

"If you can't pay for a whore from your atm machine without the federal government knowing, then we do not live in a free country."

"If I am going to pay $4 a gallon for gas, the screen at the pump better be showing porn. That way I am not the only one at the pump getting fucked up the ass"



Love a cunt today. Remember that you came out of one.

I haven't been sleeping well lately. In those dark hours before dawn, thoughts run through my head like little lab mice in a maze. But the kind of lab mice that haven't been introduced to the cheese yet. They run around in all directions, with no idea where they are really going. Every once and awhile they seem to take off down a path, only to veer off again in the wrong direction. That is what my mind is like in the dark hours before dawn.

Yesterday I cried in the bathroom when a patient of mine went home. I don't know what is wrong with me.

The bright shiny spot on my horizon is the fact that hopefully i will see some of my favourite people this weekend. I have no idea what we are doing or where we are going (if we are going anywhere) but I know that the thought of moments with
these amazing women is a tiny thread by which I am dangling before falling apart. That and coming home to the best friend I could ever ask for and being able to laugh despite the chaos of the day.

My twin pointed out to me the fact that I must have lost myself somewhere along the line if I stopped reading. I am a book whore. My entire life, with the except of the past 6 months, I have lived and breathed books. The written word makes me feel at home. When did that stop? And why? The answers scare me because I know the answer but I don't know what to do to change it.

Ok, enough with the emo self involved crap. Here are some things I am looking forward to:

The birth of this little butterbean due into this world April 26th. (Edited to note that this is NOT me who is pregnant, rather my best friend from university who's baby boy Jayden, who's arrival is being eagerly awaited by his "aunty" Steph!!!)


Cessnaqt and 4Gvr moving into their new amazing house so I can come relax in their new bathtub


Being able to sit and do nothing in Eyre Square in November


Perhaps going to Prom this year if I can get my work schedule sorted in my favor.

PRIDE


Going to NYC to visit my twin once he starts classes at Columbia. Freaking Columbia! I can't believe that kid is going to an Ivy League school. The mind boggles.

I got 13 inches cut off my hair.

I miss her already.

IN other news, my new vocabulary for the day is "asshat twatface". Thanks SarahG!!!

Oh and Elichrusos is possibly having my GO spawn.

It's been a weird day.

This weekend was amazing. It was filled with good friends, some not so good and some really good food, lots of nakedness and most of all, lots of deep belly, whole body shaking laughter. I miss Seattle already. There are loads more pictures coming once ElizaGirl uploads them. But for now, here are a few fun moments



The view from the Space Needle


Ms. ElizaGirl and I had a moment at the top of the world


ElizaGirl and Merritt


ThrottleBitch and Gayballs enjoying the noise at the Box a little too much


Finish shitting already dude. And next time, I am farting on you first.


Sadly, Merritt is the drunk one in this picture.

More to come... nakedness included!

We are in Seattle. I am sitting naked in our suite at the Fairmont. Occasionally life hands you a glass of lemonaid instead of a lemon. Pictures coming...

I had an amazing day today. I was off and for the first time in months, I did not get a single call from my office. I haven't had a day off where I didn't get at least one call. That in and of itself is enough to make the day amazing.

But....

I woke up after sleeping in until 7am. It was yummy to sleep in for once.

I went for coffee with my friend the Reverend Dave. Dave is one of my rocks in a lot of ways. We have known each other since my YMCA days and I adore him. He married a girl who hates me, (for reasons unclear and also rediculous to both of us) and so we see each other not so much these days. But when we do, it is like no time has passed. And it is also like we are 12 again. We like fart jokes and gross things like that. He makes me laugh. A lot. And a lot of times stuff comes out my nose like drinks or whatever I am eating at the time. He is that kind of friend. Anyway, we had coffee and sat in the rain and talked. It was lovely. He offered some simple and profound advice about marriage and my current troubles and once again amazed me with his kindness, clarity and ability to love.

Then I drove an hour the opposite direction to have lunch with two of my girlfriends from my old clinic. We had gobs of junk food for lunch and reveled in each other's company. Then we went back to the clinic and hung out and did a little gossiping and a scant too little work since none of the bosses were there! They gave me sage advice about my new place of employment and mostly, made me miss working side by side with people I truly call my friends.

Then I drove back to the house in the boonies, to feed the brat dog Margaux her dinner. She is so funny! She likes to come everywhere with me, including into the bathroom. She likes to try and get me to play with her while I am trying to pee. It can be quite funny. She ate a disgusting meal and then we hung out upstairs in her playroom and wrestled a bit. I miss having a dog around.

Then I drove into town to get dinner and pick up photos I had printed from my wedding. I know I know, it is now months later and I should have done this ages ago. Well sue me, I am a little behind. I think my to do list is now 4 or 5 pages long. I fell in love with my wedding all over again looking at my pictures. It made me wish Jas was here even more, so I could tell him how much I love him, and then molest him. Lots.

Oh and there were loads of text messages today and a few phone calls too. From the likes of ElizaGirl and ThrottleBitch (who sounds even more adorable than normal when she is sick and stuffy). I heart them both. Lots and lots. I can't wait to hug them for a long time next weekend when I see them.

The only bad parts of today were the fact I didn't get to see GoWings cause he hurt himself and was too painful and drugged up to drive (don't let him tell you it is my fault cause I broke him having sex... it is all a lie), and the fact that I heard a song that reminded me of 4Gvr. I miss him. And Cessnaqt. I feel the need for a great big Scotty kiss on the forehead. Do you hear that Scotty!?!?!?!?!