It certainly has been a while, has it not? Man I missed SG. I got so fed up with dial up I couldnt take it anymore...then I thought to myself..."Then why are you paying for SG?!?! Everyone prolly thinks your dead!!!...or not..." So here I am. Dealing with dial up. Whatever. I have enough Heineken in my veins to make me feel okay about it. So my photog has been dicking around with me about getting together to sort throught the photos we took.....>:I Nothin is ever easy, is it? So what's new...hmm...well, for starters, I made it to the finals in Canton Idol...so...WOO FOR ME! Ummm I got a new car..Im pretty pumped about that. A black 2002 Grand Prix GT. (It's in my pics) *yawn* I think I'm going to bed. Yep. I must say, this is prolly the most poorly put together blog of mine yet....

Day #12....yep. Still smoke free. Couldn't do it without greenery though...sweet sweet greenery.....*puff*... I havent been on here in almost a week cause I got kicked off of the internet completely at work. Almost got fired....yeah. Now I have to wait till I get home where I am cursed with the dreaded dial up disease. Im waiting on the photog to get back with me so we can sort through the pics... getting anxious.... I feel like I'm missing so much on here... I HATE IT! Fuck myspace, I'd just as soon delete my fucking account...but suicidegirls? MUST..... HAVE..... SG....*GASP!*

Welp, day #6 and still goin strong! Not a smoke yet! WOO! And the photoshoot went GREAT! I'm really happy with the results. Oh yeah, and have you guys ever had a morning where you wake up in someone else's recliner after a night at the bar and not have a fucking clue of how you got there and who's house it is? You know, a friend of a friend of a friend's house? I had one of those nights last night. Oy.

So it's a new year....what better way to start off than.... SHOOTING A SET TONIGHT! Yes, that is correct, yours truely is FINALLY getting around to shooting my very first set. I'm so nervous/excited/anxious/hyper....you get the point. I also quit smoking for my new years resolution. Three days in and still going strong! oh oh oh, AND I gave blood today.... YAY ME!!!!! Im not quite sure what is going to happen tonight but I'll be sure to keep everyone informed!

I. need. my. own. place. I'm tired of sharing a house with my grandparents, my two brothers and my mom. I simply cannot take it anymore. Jesus Christ. Cassy, you are 21 years old, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!! I can't keep using the excuse that I am a single mom. I have been a single mom for 4 years living under my grandparents roof...That is plenty of time to get my own place and support myself. I mean, it's not like I'm even waitressing anymore. That wasn't even that bad of a job. Now I'm working in car sales making decent money. Not having child support kinda sucks, but I'm sure there have been hundreds before me who have been in my situation and have done well for themselves. The walls in this house are so thin, and they seem to be getting thinner every day. I not only have my own burdens, but I have to share those of my alcoholic mother. Not to mention my grandparents prolly aren't too thrilled about us living with them in what was supposed to be their retirement home. I feel like a constant burden, but I also feel like I'm trapped. My mom lost her license a year ago cause she got into a wreck involving alcohol. She has been in and out of jail and house arrest. Now I have to haul my son with me at 6:00 in the morning to take her to work, come home, get ready so I can go to work myself, get my son ready for daycare, drop him off at day care, go to work and then skip my lunch every day so I can pick up my mom and son and take them back home then back to work I go. Did I mention that I am the only person in a house of 7 that drives? Yeah. It makes me feel a little obligated to stay here and not get my own place. There. I just answered my own question. That is why I don't move out. God, is it just me, or does my life sound more and more like a Lifetime movie every fucking day? All I wanted tonight was to go out and sing some fucking karaoke. Is that asking too much? apparently. My son is far too big of a burden on this house for me to take one night out. I just want to sing karaoke. DAMN IT!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!

I know nobody here has had the chance to hear me sing but I would greatly appreciate it if you would go to www.mds-sc.org/cantonidol.htm and vote for me! I am a semi finalist and every vote counts! Basically, Canton Idol is a home spun version of American Idol...there will be videos up shortly of all of the contestants singing, so I will keep you updated. Thanks for all of your help guys! Ha ha, oh yeah BTW, my name is Cassandra Lewis. Should I have put my real name? Oh well.

Soooo I tried to put in some 7/16 gauges last night...OUCH! I knew I shoulda waited till I got in the shower..It's always easier that way.... Anywho, Im looking to shoot before the end of January now....delays suck.... I hope all of you out there in naked lady land have a merry christmahaunakwanzaka!!! I love you all! Oh yeah....BTW, I saw Zombie and In This Moment in Cleveland Thursday...AMAZING!!!! OH MY FUCKING GOD IT WAS AMAZING. Ozzy cancelled but whatever. I wouldnt want to see him wandering around on stage trying to sing anyways. I would be dissapointed.

Okay, so this is the first time I have heard of it, but apparently a lot of hotel chains including Motel 6 are going to replace the Gidgon Bible with *ahem* "intimacy kits". I think this....is....AWESOME! Thank you! people are 100x more likely to make use of the kits than to sit down and thumb through psalms. Really, who goes to a motel, checks in, sits down on the bed, looks at the freshly tucked linens and says..."wow, were all alone in this room.....how about some......BIBLE READING!!!!" ?????? I know I do....*rolls eyes* So bye bye bibles! The only thing I'm wondering is what are we gonna do when we run out of papers?

Soooooo I officially got kicked off of here today at work. I think someone said they saw a nipple or something? Funny shit. *Sigh* So Im gonna be shooting a set this week with a local photographer... I took a look at his portfolio and it looked a little shadowy and I know how much everyone around here looooves shadowy photosets.........so Im a little apprehensive. Other than the fact that it is shadowy, it's pretty high quality stuff. Most of his work consists of fetish shots...I wonder how that will work out. So Ill work with him on the lighting and well see what we can do! Ive never been in front of a camera completely naked sooooo.....I got the first shoot butterflies....ha ha.....

The big question of the day...can I keep up? There is so much going on in my life right now, I don't even know how to keep track of it all. Ive got a christmas...uh...thing I'm singing for this Friday that requires at least 3 more practices this week. Then there is the encore presentation of the murder mystery dinner theatre coming up in a couple of weeks that requires two practices a week. On top of that Ive got these stupid ass practices to go for the semi finals of Canton Idol (Including one this saturday) THEN I want as much practice time as possible with my new jam buddy and future band member Ben. THEN I picked up another shift at Pizza hut (my second job) cause I'm flat broke. THEN I have to take Noah (my son) to doctors appointments/daycare, work up to ten hours a day, pick up and drop my mom off at work, run everybodys clothes to the laundromat cause we currently have no washer/dryer and Im one of the only people in a household of 7 with a license, spend time with my friends and family, work in time to get my SG photoset in, christmas shopping, spend some time drawing, clean, NOT TO MENTION SLEEP! *pant* *pant* Don't worry about me. What doesnt kill you, only makes you stronger.....