i'm feeling down again...
i was going pretty well those few days but now i feel bad again...too many things coming at the same time..too many things that remind me how alone i am in this fucking world...
-First, my flat mate has his mother visiting him and staying with him for a few days which remind me that my own mother will never come to visit me and that i hate her so much i wish she gonna die soon so i could feel release at last from all that hate i have inside of me...
-2nd: my fucking crasy pervert ex sent me a fucking message AGAIN telling me he loves me and miss me, that fucking asshole that destroyed a part of my life if not everything...
-3rd: EDIT
-4th: it's just that everything is too painfull, i tried those past days to be less antisocial and spoke a bit with people..and it made me realise that some people seems nice... i'm really not turning right..maybe i'm too much suspicius, maybe i should not be, maybe i should be more open, but i can't open myself, speaking with nice people remind me even more the nightmare i am trying to get rid off...i don't know how i should behave myself to not seems completly crasy and psychologically disordered..i can't even have normal talks with nice people coz there is always something coming that remind me of some painfull thoughts and i try sometimes hard to hold my tears..i hate myself for being that weak and stupid

i still hope to become a suicide girl, so here is the link of my hopefull set:
eloine-marquise
i hope you really like it! i really love to get your comments, it helps me a lot!

i also did some picts for a little commercial for benrod electro amps... here are some of the picts:

If you are in paris...
come to see me play!!!
I have a gig on sunday the 18th of May
at 8o clock pm and it's freeee
i play at:
la guiness tavern
31 rue des Lombards
Paris, 1er arrondissement
My band:
staircase paradox



and i still need love for my hopefull set:
Eloine-marquise
I have 2 other set waiting + one multi with Abbiss!!! don't you want to see it???

I want to become a suicide girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you like my set please leave me a comment on it:
eloine-marquise



+ i have 2 other ones waiting, one multi with Abbiss that you could not see if i don't go live!!

Thanks a lot for all your sweet comments on my set:
eloine-marquise
i don't know what else to say for now (i have a huge head ache coz i drank a bit too much last night.. but it really pleased me so much when i read all your comments this morning, i did not fell myself very fine those days .. now thanks to you i think it's going better! ; ) i hope this set will finally go live