Why i am always feeling so bad?...
And why i am always asking myself so many questions??
I wish i was somebody else..i can't stand me
I never manage to be myself..but i don't even know who i 'm supposed to be.
I can't take part to debates coz it's too hard for me to express myself as it's always the mess in my head .
I never feel good with people even with nice people..and i don't know why the hell i am always like this even if i know it's stupid..but i don't know how to change...trying to stand myself is a long and hard job as i hate everything about me
I try to not..but everytime i try to be less an outcast, it reminds me how fucked up i am and how hard it is for me to stand myself when i'm with people
I'd like to disapear

LOOKING FOR A FLAT IN PARIS!!!!

je recherche à partir d'Octobre, je peux mettre 550E TTC max par mois et je cherche exclusivement sur paris.

Comme garantie j'ai le locapass, je suis en ecole d'acteur (acting international)...pour le moment je bosse full time mais je vais travailler à mi-temps à partir de septembre.

Je suis serieuse, je fume pas, je bois pas, je suis musicienne (donc je fais des vocalises mais à part ça je joue au casque et je respecte la tranquilité de chacun)...je cherche donc une colloc (chambre non meublé si possible car j'ai mes meubles + machine à laver+ micro onde) ou sinon un studio de 25m2

am i insane and crasy????

I phoned to my flatmate's parents ......and i explained them my flatmate behaviour (drinking-smoking-sleeping all day long locked in his room, spending time with weird people that i suspect to be homeless...)
They told me awfull things, that i first thought were totally unbelievable...they told me I am the one who's got a problem in my head, that i first was very happy to live with him and to have someone to talk too...they told me as we are not a couple he can live the way he wants!!! i can't believe they doesn't care of him drinking, sleeping all day long and destroying his life!!!

But now i think maybe they are right..maybe it's all my fault if he has become the way he is now...maybe i am the one totally crasy...i spoke a lot with him, i told him a lot of personnal things just like i do on this blog...i should not have done this, i am very insane myself....
I don't know why i need to speak so much about myself to somepeople i don't even know very well, it is a very bad habit i must get rid of...maybe it's because of that he is so fucked up in his head now..maybe it is because of that he doesn't know anymore who to trust...i knew he was fragile and instead of helped him i fucked up his mind with my problems...i am an insane crasy bitch

Why everybody is so obsessed by sex all the time??
i want people stop talking to me about that, and stop seing me for what i am not...
It makes me wanna die, i wish i was still a little girl

I'm asking myself many questions about my place here on sg...
why am i here? what are the good things about being there and the bad things?
I am still lost, but i don't want to be lost no more..maybe SG is not the place for me.
I want to start to work hard on myself and maybe SG is a thing that drag me down.
I 'm not sure speaking about my life on this blog is something positive that will help me to grow up.
and i'm not sure showing nude picts of me is something that will help me to grow up neither.
Even if i'm proud of the picts i've made..for me my nude picts have nothing sexual, as this is something i'm not comfortable with at all, i always tried to show something else..but it seems to few people share my way of thinking...
I need to build my "inside" and i want to be respected..
i want to be loved for good reasons, for my talent and not for my ass
if this kind of love still exists coz i often doubt .
and i don't want that people have pervert insane thoughts about me...
coz i have known only this since i'm 12, and i'm so tired now
i think i have to make a big change.
But i still don't know what are the things i'm going to keep and the one i will change...