the true meaning of loss.
here i sit on the eve of 16 Feb 07. now, for most people in the world this date has no significance. many folks see it as a beginning for a holiday weekend (president's day). there will be sales at the car dealerships and department stores. lots of people will take advantage of the friday night club hoppin and get drunk and maybe even score some booty. well my friends, this particular day has a great deal of importance to me and a few other of my friends.
this day in particular brings into very painful light what the true meaning of loss is. the 16th of February will forever be known for me as the day that one of my truly best friends ever died. Michael Matthew Merila was born on 17 Feb 80 and was killed by an insurgen IED in northern Iraq on 16 Feb 04. Mike was from Arizona and his family was a military one. i'm not just talkin about his biological family. i mean the military people around him were his family too.
the kind of person Mike was....well, he was a friend to anyone and everyone that ever met him. he held no grudges and no real ill will. sure he'd be irritated at times, but nothing serious. if you ever needed anything at all, he would do anything he could to help you. that's just who he was. he worked hard and definitely played hard. Mike was dedicated and loyal. Mike wasn't even supposed to deploy with us. he could have easily rotated out to a different unit and skipped the desert trip. he said NO...i want to go with my friends and my unit. i want to do my part. well, he went to iraq with the rest of us. Mike being Mike...he volunteered. he volunteered to help protect other people. he chose to be a .50 cal gunner on a convoy dropping people off to go home on R&R leave. that's just the kinda guy he was. on the return trip back to his area his commander looked up to the gun and asked how he was.....it was snowing and he was hanging out the turret going 50+ mph...Mike being Mike...he just replied with i'm good sir. shortly after that, an IED exploded and hit his vehicle. shrapnel penetrated his head just under his jaw. he was flown out by med chopper but was pronounced dead on arrival to the medical facility.
this happened on the day before his birthday. Mike never thought of himself before he thought of others. he didn't have to deploy, he certainly didn't have to volunteer for gun duty. but he did both. Mike was what's best about not only this military but what's best about humanity. the instant he stopped living was the instant this world became a much darker place for the rest of us. he served something greater than himself....Mike was the pure definition of Selfless Service.
all of this leads to what the meaning of true loss is to me. we've all had our love for someone else flutter away in the wind. we are crushed for a time and will remember that person for years to come. but that's not true loss. true loss is when a part of you actually dies and will never come back. when something so vital and important ceases to exist and you feel like you'll never be the same...and in fact will never be the same. when someone had such a profound impact not only on your life but on everyone's life they touch...when the world grows dark because of the loss of this tiny light. true loss occurs when this person is no longer with us. now i know you folks that are reading this didn't know Mike, and i must say, it is your misfortune. i say this because i'm certain that if you did know him, you would have just a little bit more love and happiness in your life regardless of whatever else has happened for you. not a single day goes by that i don't think of him and miss him. not a day goes by that i don't remember specific things about him or things we did before we deployed. these are the best memories i can ever hope to have in my life. sure i may get married and have a family some day, and those will be happy times....but can they replace my memories and love for my friend Mike? not a chance. sure they'll be way up at the top....but not quite the same.
so....even though you didn't know Mike, know that you would have loved him if you did. if you're a religious person, or know any religious people, please have prayers for Mike, his family and his friends. i know he doesn't really need them now, but i know i do. i once heard a speech given by a general regarding dead veterans. we were in the military cemetary at Fort Leavenworth. he said that the most important mark on any stone in that place was the dash - between a birthdate and date of death. this dash is such a simple little mark, yet it represents an entire life. it represents a life of service and protection. i can say this...Mike's dash is a very very important one.
R.I.P Michael Matthew Merila
17 February 1980 - 16 February 2004
we miss you and love you. we will see you again on the highground.
here i sit on the eve of 16 Feb 07. now, for most people in the world this date has no significance. many folks see it as a beginning for a holiday weekend (president's day). there will be sales at the car dealerships and department stores. lots of people will take advantage of the friday night club hoppin and get drunk and maybe even score some booty. well my friends, this particular day has a great deal of importance to me and a few other of my friends.
this day in particular brings into very painful light what the true meaning of loss is. the 16th of February will forever be known for me as the day that one of my truly best friends ever died. Michael Matthew Merila was born on 17 Feb 80 and was killed by an insurgen IED in northern Iraq on 16 Feb 04. Mike was from Arizona and his family was a military one. i'm not just talkin about his biological family. i mean the military people around him were his family too.
the kind of person Mike was....well, he was a friend to anyone and everyone that ever met him. he held no grudges and no real ill will. sure he'd be irritated at times, but nothing serious. if you ever needed anything at all, he would do anything he could to help you. that's just who he was. he worked hard and definitely played hard. Mike was dedicated and loyal. Mike wasn't even supposed to deploy with us. he could have easily rotated out to a different unit and skipped the desert trip. he said NO...i want to go with my friends and my unit. i want to do my part. well, he went to iraq with the rest of us. Mike being Mike...he volunteered. he volunteered to help protect other people. he chose to be a .50 cal gunner on a convoy dropping people off to go home on R&R leave. that's just the kinda guy he was. on the return trip back to his area his commander looked up to the gun and asked how he was.....it was snowing and he was hanging out the turret going 50+ mph...Mike being Mike...he just replied with i'm good sir. shortly after that, an IED exploded and hit his vehicle. shrapnel penetrated his head just under his jaw. he was flown out by med chopper but was pronounced dead on arrival to the medical facility.
this happened on the day before his birthday. Mike never thought of himself before he thought of others. he didn't have to deploy, he certainly didn't have to volunteer for gun duty. but he did both. Mike was what's best about not only this military but what's best about humanity. the instant he stopped living was the instant this world became a much darker place for the rest of us. he served something greater than himself....Mike was the pure definition of Selfless Service.
all of this leads to what the meaning of true loss is to me. we've all had our love for someone else flutter away in the wind. we are crushed for a time and will remember that person for years to come. but that's not true loss. true loss is when a part of you actually dies and will never come back. when something so vital and important ceases to exist and you feel like you'll never be the same...and in fact will never be the same. when someone had such a profound impact not only on your life but on everyone's life they touch...when the world grows dark because of the loss of this tiny light. true loss occurs when this person is no longer with us. now i know you folks that are reading this didn't know Mike, and i must say, it is your misfortune. i say this because i'm certain that if you did know him, you would have just a little bit more love and happiness in your life regardless of whatever else has happened for you. not a single day goes by that i don't think of him and miss him. not a day goes by that i don't remember specific things about him or things we did before we deployed. these are the best memories i can ever hope to have in my life. sure i may get married and have a family some day, and those will be happy times....but can they replace my memories and love for my friend Mike? not a chance. sure they'll be way up at the top....but not quite the same.
so....even though you didn't know Mike, know that you would have loved him if you did. if you're a religious person, or know any religious people, please have prayers for Mike, his family and his friends. i know he doesn't really need them now, but i know i do. i once heard a speech given by a general regarding dead veterans. we were in the military cemetary at Fort Leavenworth. he said that the most important mark on any stone in that place was the dash - between a birthdate and date of death. this dash is such a simple little mark, yet it represents an entire life. it represents a life of service and protection. i can say this...Mike's dash is a very very important one.
R.I.P Michael Matthew Merila
17 February 1980 - 16 February 2004
we miss you and love you. we will see you again on the highground.
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xxoxo!