every time i log on to sg and the layout is different, i get all freaked out like an old man whose furniture is moved around. but i think i figured it out. I don't know if i like the testimonials sitting there like that. i always thought those were kind of a silly idea. oh well! i'm sure i'll love them in a few weeks.

lately:
- knitting. constantly.
- working at my store. constantly.
- netflix. constantly.
- logic puzzles. frequently.
- working at the warhol. seldom.
- going out. seldom.
- reading worthwhile books/articles/whatever. not often enough.
- shopping for xmas gifts. excruciating. because i have no money.




that's the scarf i just finished. bulky handspun yarn from LampesLumps on size US50[!!!] needles.

i had chinese food for thanksgiving. i want real thanksgiving leftovers soooo bad.

also: i love my BFF, li$.







we're moving back to new yawk, bitchez!

i just found out that the husband isn't applying to graduate school in new york until 2008. which means i'm stuck here for a year longer than i thought i was. i don't even know what i'm going to do. it's moved beyond depressing to oppressive. if i move back to nyc without him, our relationship is over. we've already discussed it. neither of us do long distance relationships. i don't understand how this compromise is going to work. what if he waits until 2008 and doesn't get in [despite my best efforts]? what then? i'll HAVE to leave. i can only go back to school once i get back to nyc and the more i put it off, the less easy it's going to be to go back.

i want to move to harlem with lis. i want to go back to school and find a nice job where i'm not ridiculously underpaid. i want to get back to the place i grew up, where i don't have to depend on other people to drive me around. but i love glenn and don't want to leave him. i love our little family and home together. but i'm so unhappy. ugh.

weeellll, i'm going to go eat mexican food and watch the motorcycle diaries.

the longer i stay in pittsburgh, the more i fry my brain with alcohol and prescription drugs to try to make myself feel better about being in pittsburgh. and i can't leave because i'm married.

i'd say i've become my mother, but i can't draw any parallels aside from the trapped feeling and the fact that i'm quickly becoming senile.

can you tell i'm grumpy? i haven't taken my second welbutrin of the day yet.

oh! at least i have a really sweet pair of black leather thigh high boots, which i started breaking in at work today. now i can wear spandex all winter long.

thanks.


ps. sweet. i just downloaded the newest version of firefox and now people's comments aren't blank when i look at their blogs.

Art is intense.

so... i think i'm not going to extend my sg membership next billing cycle. i need to start spending my money on grown up things. like rent and wine and organic cat food.

i'm on myspace: http://www.myspace.com/nonstopscandal
and aim: pennyellope

i'm pretty sure anyone i want to talk to knows all that already.

time to play with my brain chemistry! weee!!

so today i got scripts for wellbutrin, depakote, klonopin and birth control pills.
wellbutrin is for my depression with sleepiness and complete loss of sex drive, and to help with my AD[H]D. the depakote is to make sure i don't get too speedy and insane from the wellbutrin, because i'm already pretty hyper. the birth control pills are so i don't have a baby with spina bifida [a side effect of the depakote] or a cleft palate [from the klonopin]. and the klonopin is just in case i get panic attacks from the speediness of the wellbutrin, because i'm not allowed to take the depakote until the birth control starts kicking in.

it's kind of like tending a really big garden!

okay. off to work.

ps. my cats have been needing 10x more attention and petting today than normal. it's so weird. both of them slept on top of my chest this morning and purred constantly.

it's getting to the point that i think i might have to quit working at the warhol, because i've been working six or seven days a week at my store since i became manager. and they still haven't given me my raise yet, those jerks.

I'm returning to nyc in october with my two rich married girlfriends, our gay boyfriends, and my fiance. glenn is going to talk to the faculty at columbia's grad school and hopefully i can hook him up with a dinner with the dean [whose daughter i dated in high school.] i also need to see my eye doctor while i'm there because my insurance only lets me see one eye doctor in pgh and he works at WALMART. FUCK THAT. i doubt walmart has the prada frames i want.

oh. i'm also going to get some welbutrin in a week or so, so i don't feel lousy and tired all the time. like, a real presciption for once, rather than some black market purchase or random gifts from friends.

i've been bad about getting to the gym lately. i don't look any fatter, but i'm all icky and soft now. and not as flexible because i've been skipping yoga.

pool party in ohio with glenn's dad and stepmom on sunday, which should be excrutiating. at least it means taking a day off.

i think i might actually make it through foucault's pendulum this time around. now that i'm not dating someone who spouts conspiracy theory constantly, i've managed to make it past the first few chapters without becoming thoroughly bored.

someone told me i should go to school for marketing because i'd be amazing at it. what a completely bizarre thought.

can anyone recommend a good GRE study book?

suddenly, i'm manager of the shadyside american apparel, now that there's one opening up in oakland. haha!