hai its 5:22am im tired and sick i have gain lots of weight these past years and feel like a moron ... i dont think theres a way of me getting better i have took so much drugs that its hard to not talk about it or just not think about getting high but i just take weed now so it's not like im on hard drugs ...


anyways i got to go out today and i don't realy want to i think i feel like i rarely keep up whit this part of the world it's hard to imagine muself somewhere else i get anoyd and never do something about it its a weird part of me and it gets in the way sometimes ...

it was my birthday last thursday im going to be 40 years old pretty soon time to time i think about it and i feel left out in many places is it a kind of sadness that can't be more then cruelty hyper selfishness or just a experience i got to learn before i do something great im not sure anymore nevermind take care see you around