Well i guess i am starting this blog it would be my first one i have ever done. not sure why i have picked this site to start one but here i am typing away. It is April 5 2012 and i am in the army and deployed for the 3rd time. Its funny how things change in dramatic ways but really stay the same. I am deployed but i am not doing the same thing but feel the same way. I feel left out like no one cares but everyone cares at the same time. I guess it's hard to put in to words how i really feel and have others who have not gone through it know what i am talking about. I have tried and fail at marriage 2 times. I have 4 kids, 3 with my first wife and 1 with my second wife and i feel like i have failed as a father as well. I don't take it as a total failure seeing as i have learned from what has happened in my life. Here i go talking about all the negative in my life. I can say i am a better person but that would be a lie i am still the same no matter what i go through i just have learned not to make the same mistakes i did before, or did I. I feel some are destined to make the same mistakes all their lives. I can only hope i am not one of those people. All of this may not make since to you but it does to me and that's what matters most right?