Well today is my birthday, you would think that was a good thing, but alas its not really. My dad is in the hospital, and I truely hope that he gets better for my moms sake. I guess I really wish I could go back, and change all the things in my life I am not proud of. I know that my life would have been much better had I made some different choices. I just hope that my parents are at least some what proud of me. I want my own hot tub time machine, that would make me happy.

“What love is: It is blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your whole heart and soul to the smite....~Charles Dickens~

I saw this, and really liked it.

Well as lame as I am sure this is gonna sound, I would love to have someone to chat with. I need to make some new friends, because the ones I have here at home are such assholes. Hope everybody is having a good weekend.

Well this sucks the friend I was supposed to go with to Mayhem backed out so now I cant go. Oh well thats life I guess.

Well the weekend is here, and that is always a relief. Looks like I gotta clean house, and mow the grass again lol. I am gonna try to get some work done on my truck too. Hope all that may read this have a good weekend

Well a freind, and I are makin plans to road trip it to Dallas next month for the Mayhem Tour. Happy B-Day to me. Its gonna be fukin awsome I cant wait.

Man it really sucks that I will never be able to go see Rage Against the Machine life. That has got to be one of the sickest shows of all time. I have three of their DVDs and omfg they are the shit. Just thought I would share that tidbit.

Its weird, most of the things that we as human beings want in life are either pre-programmed from birth, or taught to us by different people throughout life, and we get them, we understand. There is one thing though that we want, crave, desire, need, and search for relentlessly, and despite our best efforts some of us cant grasp it, even if it was our last despreate breath to stay alive. Its funny though there is an irony to this, and that is we write stories, books, poems, even many famous movies about the subject. The irony is that these stories are many times, so far from the truth its comical. Well if you havent figured it out yet, dont worry I havent lol. I am talking about love. Its a feeling that no one can truely define, but most can, feel it, and know it exsists. Love is an amazing thing, It can create the best in us as humans. It can make us a men do some of the craziest things imaginable. It can bond two people for 60 or more years. It can also make us feel just plain shitty at times. Who knows mabe one day I will have a better understanding of it. I would love to have that little slice of heaven, again.

You know you lead a borring life when getting a new bed is the highlight of yourday lol. My mom found me a really nice used mattress and boxspring today, and it was pretty cheap. I am truely blessed to have my parents. There are times I wonder if they know that I really do love, and appreiciate them very much. I have been trying really hard these last few years to become a better son. I say this because I know that I have put them through hell and back.