Haven't been on the interweb much at all lately. I've been playing Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion a lot. Not sure why I got back into it again. Also spent my lunch break looking thru back issue comics at work today...found some Midnight Sons issues of Morbius, Ghost Rider, and Blade for a couple of bucks! I also set back a huge stack of Dead Pool's and Punisher Max. I can't think of a better way to spend a lunch break. I also found a comic called The One Armed Swordsman. It was the only one in the store, so I had to get it as well.

What a shitty weekend, so far. Everything started off well. Went to the comedy club with some friends friday night. Next we hit the bar. Met up with other friends there and had a blast. Then, got jumped in the parking lot (4 on 2) leaving the bar. My right eye is swollen shut....and to top it off, I got to spend the night in jail and get to pay off a public intoxication fine. FML

What a day. Woke up hungover to go to a meeting for work. Came home, drank a few. Then, Derek and I took Curt's mom to see Grown Ups b/c she hasn't been out of the house much since the funeral and she was going stir crazy. Damn, I miss that guy. The movie was pretty descent. Now I'm kinda tired and bored...so, I'm gonna drink some more and watch THIS!

Crazy night at work, but thanks to last.fm (which I am in love with) and a massive White Russian I made (which I am also in love with) I'm feeling pretty chill now.

Great weekend. Hung out with great friends and the fam, drank, played horseshoes, saw Get Him to The Greek, drank...good times. Now I need to get my chill on.

Throwing my best friend a bachelor all night tonight, then going to work at 6am tomorrow...so I'm trying to stay up all night and sleep all day if I can. Saturday morning is gonna suck dog nuts.

It has been a long couple of weeks. A lot of tears, beers, and memories shared with friends over the loss of one of the best guys any of us ever knew. It's been nice catching up with everyone else, but the circumstances that brought us together are horrible. I'm just glad we are all there for each other, and glad to have a large group of friends back in my life.

It's been a few days since my last blog. I went to see Curt's parents again today. They let me know the funeral would be on his birthday, June 10th. Which is a great idea, because having it last week would have been hard for everybody to make it. And every year, everyone who knew him would remember the day he died, the day of his funeral, and then an week later, his birthday. Also found out that it's casual, absolutely no dressing up. Which is how Curt would have wanted it. Then his mom asked Derek and I put together a bunch of music, he liked, to play at the viewing and at the funeral. I'm more than happy to do this, because in a way, it's helping the grieving process for me. Also, I'm just glad to be able to help them out as much as I can right now. As much as it hurts me losing on of my closest friends....it doesn't compare to the pain of losing a son, or a brother. Finding music to play in at a funeral is proving to be a bit of a challenge. Tool, Pink Floyd, A Perfect Circle, NIN, Alice in Chains, Deftones, Stabbing Westward, Incubus. Anyways....

It's been a rough couple of days. I woke up Tuesday morning to a phone call, from my friend Derek, that a close friend of ours had hung himself. I was heart broken and it immedately brought up memories about my dad's suicide. I got out of bed, got dressed, and went strait to his parents house and stayed there with them all day. Went to work that night, and it was hard as hell to get through that shift. Came home downed a couple sleeping pills, passed out, woke up, took a shower, and went back to their house all day Wednesday. I feel so bad, because we hadn't really seen each other in a couple of years, except for the occasional running into one another and chatting online. He was a very good friend of mine for several years....his family as well. They were the cool parents who let everybody hang out at their house. A bunch of us have been there for the past couple of days, I just with the circumstances were better. I've been told from his family and mutual friends of ours that he was going through a really rough patch. He had been to rehab and just recently moved to Seattle to try and get a fresh start. From the few short conversations I had with him, he seemed to be liking it there and I thought he was doing good. I wish I would have had more contact with him over the past couple of years. I miss him immensely, and wish I could see him again. He and his family were there for me when my dad commited suicide, so I'm glad I can be there for them right now. Because a lot of people who haven't been in that situation before say stupid things like, "god does everything for a reason" (get fucked). It's really tough having all of these old feelings resurface, even though they're always in the back of my mind and come up everyday, it's more intense now. All I have now are the memories, and an even closer bond with his family and our friends.

Curt, my friend, I love you so fucking much...and I wish you were here....but I know you were in a lot of pain, and at least now you're not. If there's a sequel or an encore to this life we live, you better be in it. Cause it won't be as fun without you in this one.

I find myself listening to this a lot these past couple of days.