The relationship "reset" is in effect. We are now poly.
Perhaps not poly to serious polyamorists. Just one woman.
Aisha had a "dancing and drinking" friend, I forget her name. Aisha was looking for some fun, but always mentions that she is bi and seeing a man. She wanted no part of that, as she had bad luck with bi girls in the past. Still, they liked each other, and did things together. Eventually, she got a full time girlfriend, named Wendy.
It turned out that I had gone to high school with her, and had a crush on her. I pretty much had a crush on any girl who was nice to me. I had no idea Wendy was a lesbian. Nor did she.
Anyway, they had a thermonuclear break up, and now, Wendy is with us.
There are several permutations I am still working out for myself. I am drinking heavily as the girls sleep. Wendy's life has changed more than mine.
Aisha seems happy. There were some difficulties, I am sure, in setting this up. So she accomplished something.
This is not want I wanted. Enjoying threesomes with sexual service providers was one thing. This is totally different, but it is what Aisha wants. I just want Aisha, nobody else, including a high school fantasy. Aisha is in complete control of our relationship. I just follow orders.
It could be far worse. It also could be so much better.
I will post more later. This is therapeutic for me. To put my feelings down in words helps me to clarity these things to myself. One thing I have never needed to figure out is that I love Aisha more than she loves me. She tells me she loves me. I alwasy think she is being honest; at that particular moment. Ten minutes later, I am just convenient.
I will take her on any level she will have me.
I am afraid I will be forced to write more, as I begin to understand the parameters of my new relationship.
Perhaps not poly to serious polyamorists. Just one woman.
Aisha had a "dancing and drinking" friend, I forget her name. Aisha was looking for some fun, but always mentions that she is bi and seeing a man. She wanted no part of that, as she had bad luck with bi girls in the past. Still, they liked each other, and did things together. Eventually, she got a full time girlfriend, named Wendy.
It turned out that I had gone to high school with her, and had a crush on her. I pretty much had a crush on any girl who was nice to me. I had no idea Wendy was a lesbian. Nor did she.
Anyway, they had a thermonuclear break up, and now, Wendy is with us.
There are several permutations I am still working out for myself. I am drinking heavily as the girls sleep. Wendy's life has changed more than mine.
Aisha seems happy. There were some difficulties, I am sure, in setting this up. So she accomplished something.
This is not want I wanted. Enjoying threesomes with sexual service providers was one thing. This is totally different, but it is what Aisha wants. I just want Aisha, nobody else, including a high school fantasy. Aisha is in complete control of our relationship. I just follow orders.
It could be far worse. It also could be so much better.
I will post more later. This is therapeutic for me. To put my feelings down in words helps me to clarity these things to myself. One thing I have never needed to figure out is that I love Aisha more than she loves me. She tells me she loves me. I alwasy think she is being honest; at that particular moment. Ten minutes later, I am just convenient.
I will take her on any level she will have me.
I am afraid I will be forced to write more, as I begin to understand the parameters of my new relationship.
strongbhoy:
Well, that is not quite what I expected, but I never do know what to expect with the twists and turns that is seemingly your love life.