summers a great time for some batshit crazy tv programming. all the good shows are off till september and you're stuck with a blender of reality tv. right now the only actively tivo'd show i got is top chef. i love food and competition. this love goes all the way back to watching those english dubbed iron chef back in high school. i remember sitting at wa la's house being mesmerized by these crazy ingredients and these chefs that augmented each ingredient like it was playdo. and don't get me started on the american version that just pales in comparison. i mean come on when you go from electric eel to chicken as the secret ingredient. that's like hey let me jack off to a macy's ad instead of jenna jameson. either way just can't get enough of it. i'd kill just to eat any of these dishes. food network has become the vivid to my food porn. top chef is just the quintissential cooking show but i'm gonna leave that to another blog. that was quite a long segue but there are two shows that have caught my attention lately first and foremost man vs. wild
so let me get this straight crazy military trained brit gets dropped into crazy locales like the arctic, ecuadoran jungle, high altitude desert, and has to walk his way out just by carrying the clothes on his back and a piece of flint. and did i mention his name is bear...like the animal. in the last two episodes i've seen him drink his own piss eat spiders and grubs, built a bamboo latter, make a bow and arrow and caught pirahnna in the jungle river, and did i mention drink his own piss. this guy is either crazy or a fucking genius. the only experience in my life that is closely relatable was when i was stranded at a motel 6 and had to resort to eating mcdonalds. YES MCDONALDS. it was horrible. i only had one pillow and my ipod ran out of battery so i had to use ...the radio....gasp!! i've been in therapy ever since. kidding aside. i couldn't help but notice all the crazy camera angles that this show was getting while this guy put himself in semi mortal danger. so i'm thinking while the dude is drinking urine his camera people are sipping mojitos under a nice umbrella. alas i'm still mightly impressed with what he's willing to go through for fame. next up and i wasn't expecting this to be any good but that's my underestimation of white people. its called rock of love.
brett michaels of the 80's hair band poison is in a flavor of love type show. while i watch bits of flavor of love enjoyed i love new york i don't think i was ready for another show in that vein. boy did i underestimate the power of white trash. i got home and was ready to go to bed when i flipped to what my eyes could translate as cat/ couger fights. within minutes of this show girls were piss drunk pole dancing and slutting themselves over this past his prime rock star. this was way more intense than either of the previous mentioned shows. and the range of women was pretty good you had your suicidesque girls to your straight up coke whores. this one girl her name Tiffany had fake ass tits probably in her 40's collagen injected lips kinda like a coked up brunette loni anderson ex wife to burt reynolds. anywho she come late to the party and procedes to get shit hammered after awhile no one understands her and the bouncer of the show has to kick her out but get this no more than 2 mins later she hops a fence or some bush and gets back in. i don't know if its cuz people are plastered and don't notice but they let her in without making a fuss and at this point the girls have coralled against her and she breaks out the 'i aint drink no haterade' and dust her shoulder off. lord know what she meant but hey i like her as stephen colbert says 'stick-to-it-tiveness' any ways after about half an hour of this show i'm still hooked and bang my head as to why this show hasn't been done before. i mean what is more entertaining than a bunch of ghetto minority girls clawing each other for attention.... a bunch of no shame former stripper white trash girls drunk biting slutting their way to love. all my life i've yet to date a white girl and i think deep down inside this lil voice has always told me they are buttshit crazy like unpredictable crazy. like one minute give you an amazing blow job next minute your shit is outside on the terrace cuz you mentioned her fake nails looked too fake...see atleast i can sorta predict asians mexicans and black girls but man as this show is surely supporting white girls when they want something really bad go crazy.