Another trip to the bay area... I always seem to get tense as my plans near their realizations. I though that if I had to be there, I'd spend some quality time in the city. SF is about the only thing about the golden state that I ever miss. Any tips on shows in the first week of October will be greatly appreciated. I can't even remember the names of most of my favorite venues. They say memory is the first to go...
So I'm here for a bit. I'm a little tempted to read all my ancient blogs from back in my SG-using heyday, but it might be a little too nostalgic. And thats not really my schtick. I'm at least uploading all my old pics, which were lost somewhere in the exodus from California.
This site has changed a little bit, eh?
For now, a picture of my favorite kitty in the whole world, Ignatius:
This site has changed a little bit, eh?
For now, a picture of my favorite kitty in the whole world, Ignatius:
Diana said I needed to update.
Not much of interest. I'm happy, poor, ungainfully employed, and getting ready to move again. (The third time since June!
) Theres a new kitty, a lot less "stuff", and much shorter hair. Terribly exciting? I think so....
Not much of interest. I'm happy, poor, ungainfully employed, and getting ready to move again. (The third time since June!
) Theres a new kitty, a lot less "stuff", and much shorter hair. Terribly exciting? I think so.... 
So ridiculously happy these days. It feels like theres a burgeoning weight thats been lifted off of my chest, and I can take a deep breath for the first time in memory. I didn't even realize it was there. I smile way too much. I can't bring myself to be my normal icy self; I'm even nice to the customers at work. Outside of Traders Joes, in the freezing cold, I had a half hour conversation with a homeless man about karma and the nature of dogma and its necessity to the uneducated masses.
Things feel different. I can't even bring myself to feel the same bitterness for the past. Sure, it was awful sometimes, and a lot of it was intentionally inflicted... it went both ways. But it ended. And it ended here. I hope you can, at some point, arrive at the same place... where you can be happy where you are. Not somewhere that you imagine exists - you'll only live your whole life searching for something better, filling your existence with meaningless distractions just to pass the time.
I wish I could help you. I wish the sight of me happy led you to another emotion besides anger. I hope someday glimpses of my life without you doesn't inspire pain. Someday I hope you'll be my friend again.
You're free. The time for your happiness is now.
