This month has been one of the craziest months this year to say the least. It started off with me being laid off from my main job, so I was without my main source of income for about a week or two. When I finally found a job my anxiety had become uncontrollable. I think I have finally had it under control, but it is still getting out of hand. I have made an appointment with a therapist/psychiatrist to maybe help me along with controling my anxiety. With all of that being said, I would love to tell you all what I am truly thankful for this year!
@lyxzen @rambo @missy
For starters, I am truly thankful for my wonderful girlfriend. She supports me more than I could even begin to explain. She stands by my side no matter what. When my anxiety is too hard for even me to handle, she just holds me in her arms until it almost melts away. When things are going great we just smile and laugh together all day long. When I started my journey to be a Hopeful, I was nervous about whether she would be supportive of it or if she would be totally against it. I mean let's face it, not many would be totally 100% accepting of their girlfriend/wife being nude on the interwebs, but when I explained to her that it is something I have been wanting to do for a long time, she just smiled and said whatever makes me happy makes her happy too. I always wonder how in the world could I love this woman any more than I already do, and she surprises me by making me fall in love with her more. I am so thankful for this beautiful woman! (she will be active again on this site, @rkreeg )
I am also thankful for this amazing SG community! I know that I am still brand spanking new to the site but I already love basically everyone here! When I first joined, it was the 4 year mark of me being self injury free, I wrote a blog about it that made the front page and I received so much love and support. It felt amazing that people that barely know me were supportive and loving. I have never felt so much love before in my life. Like most girls here, I was always bullied for being slightly different in a small southern town. I didn't have very many friends growing up and not many stood by or helped with my addictions or depression. Now, I know that no matter what, I can fall back onto this amazing community. I know I haven't blogged much lately, but that should change soon now that I have all my ducks in a row with jobs and school.
I am not sure if this will make any sense, but I am really thankful that I have confidence in myself again. When you struggle with anxiety and body issues for so long, when you finally feel the smallest amount of confidence building that feeling is indescribable! It's like beating that big boss at the end of a video game, or finally reaching the top of a mountain you've tried so hard to climb, or finishing a marathon, it is very satisfying. Finally having self confidence has allowed me to finally follow my dreams without fear. I have finally found a career that fits me perfectly, I finally became a Hopeful, I finally found the love of my life. For the first time in an extremely long time, i am happy and confident in myself and my life. Don't get me wrong, I do struggle sometimes but with my new found self confidence, those tough days no longer seem as hard as they used to. So I am very thankful for my confidence. Without it, I wouldn't be a Hopeful, and I wouldn't be able to post this picture of me on my porch drinking tea in the morning (that is my morning face, a sleepy tea sipping morning)
Lastly I am thankful for music! One of these days I will post a few playlists of mine, but I am thankful for music. Music is a great escape for me. I love getting lost in the melodies and rhythm of each song. It is hard to say what genre or what artist is my favorite because it all depends on my mood. No matter what mood I am in, music is what gets me going. Whether it is to help me clean, to study, and sometimes to get me in sexy mode, I am thankful that I have music.
So that is what I am most thankful for this year!
Hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
and a side unrelated note, be sure to hug your local funeral director, most days we could really use it! (: