AAAAAAARRRRRGH. Spring break sucks. And it sucks that spring break sucks. I had to come home to shittowne PA for SB because i had Dr. Appointments, and Dentist Aptments and my car needed inspected....oh...yeah and that last thing...the car...at least $700 to pass...not that i have to pay for it...because i'm a lowly college student who doesn't make a dime...in fact...loses 3000 a year (praise the scholarship gods it's only that much, oh frugal parents of mine!). But not only is it expensive...it's going to take at least until friday...possibly saturday to get fixed...i was HOPING to get down to see Hannah for a couple days before I had to get back to work. What makes it worse is...A) hannah and i are missing eachother like crazy...we're like going into withdrawl...*sigh*...and she's stressed out of her mind...and i just want to be there so badly to sex her up, and give her lots of hugs and back rubs and foot rubs...B) my parents are driving me nuts. had a big fight this evening...i was pissed off at my dad for some bullshit and he was just generally pissed...so it started with my dad and i...and my mom jumps in and pisses my dad off more...so then they have at it...and i'm trying not to take sides...it was a fucking mess...but i guess all is calm now...at least on the surface. *ugh* Ok...i'll quit bitching. Bottom line is i miss Hannah...and if this week had gone according to plan, i'd be leaving tomorrow to see her...and now there's no chance whatsoever of that.

Matt

Matt's on spring break, so he's at home. He's coming to visit on Thursday, so I'm really happy about this.

Lately I've been feeling really stressed, which just kind of causes me to go into some kind of pseudo-depression. Not fun. I need more sleep and less homework.

And more pirates. Yarrr.

So, I often kinda get the feeling I'm almost leading a double life. Like, basically...I'm pretty laid back and libertarian (and bisexual), and yet my major is engineering and in general....well...engineers tend to be a little up tight (on issues other than drinking...most engineers drink like fish). Not to mention I write poetry and hang out with artists and punk kids all day. So I put on this pseudo-conservative face when I go to class or work in the lab. And it's getting to the point where I've got a fair number of pretty good friends who only really know me like that. I've got a group of friends who are totally awesome...except (one more than the others) they're kinda homophobic and punkaphobic...like alternative lifestylish anything kinda frightens them. It sounds stupid, like...unless you know them it's just like, "Well, shit dude get some friends who aren't dicks." but it's not that simple. I have to see these guys every day anyway, and in all other respects I like them. They're funny, they're good to just hang out with and have fun, drink a rum'n'coke and play fussball. But I've still gotta hide like half my personality from most of them. It's so weird. It kinda sucks and I wish I could stop now. But I mean, having Hannah, it's not really necessary to go through the bullshit of trying to come out to them as bisexual...why bother when I'll never have to. And really that's not it...just my whole poetic/artistic/punk side I fear would be just lost on them, so I hide it. It's not their fault... there's some sort of correllation it seems with being somewhat socially conservative and really good at math/physics.

Fuck, I don't know. I probably think too much. Damn psych minor is getting to me. hahaha. *smacks forehead*

Oh well.

Matt

Changed the profile around a bit. We both use this account, Matt and I, so why not set it up to suit both of us?

Aww. How sweet.

hearts,
Hannah

Cognition Lab Report/Paper.

I'm up to 10 pages...still another two or three to go.....

yeah.

fuck this.

I need another weekend.

Staying up late again. For no reason.

My old friend Amanda and I have a date with a bottle of JD tomorrow. We haven't really talked in about a year so we're going to get smashed and share stories. 8^)

Matt

OK, it already has been but now it's official. This is a shared account between me (Matt) and my fiancee Hannah.

We both use the account all the time, so we might as well share the profile, eh?

Loves,
Matt and Hannah

I'm going to try to update more often. By more often I mean I'm going to update at all.

I'm kinda quiet on here, so I'm sure not too many people read this. But...I don't really care. Not that I don't care about you, brace explorer of the (unphotogenic) crevices of SG.com, but I'm going to try to keep this more for my benefit than anyone else's, as a journal should be, eh?

To that end:

There's this band that existed, here in Newark (DELAWARE not NJ), called Echo Constructor, who were around for about seven months. During three of those months, I was their next door neighbor. They fucking rocked out hard. I loved it. Imagine someone combining (non-metal) hardcore vocals with sludgy fuzzed out bluesy metal riffs, with the occasional tribal drum part, some whispy harmonica in the slow sections, and some funky ambient samples. Add a healthy portion of low budget punk rock plus a penchant for 10 minute plus songs, and you might come close to imagining what this shit was like. (I have a video, IM me if you want to see it)

Now this band's guitarist is a "friend" (more of an acquaintence) of mine named Brian. He is a real cool guy, and a while back he said he'd lay down some guitar for my fucked up spoken word band i, fanblades. And last night that's just what he did. It's magnificent. We had him working over a bassline and a tribal-y drum track we'd laid down, and he busted his shit out like no other...two tracks in two takes. The session took half an hour. Crazy. And it sounds magnificent too. Crazy thick ass drone influenced guitar...thick as fucking mercury and yet still soft and fluid and fuzzy. Great bejeezes we need this guy more often.

i, fanblades

Hey, time for first entry crap.

I'm new. I'm bored. And it's 4:20am.

I should be doing my homework.