I have achieved the impossible. As I write this I am about to go into my room and pass out, so I can make it to work by 5am. But the impossible is this
my Television has been off for 24 hours straight!!!!!!
Those who know me will be impressed. Those who don't well let me just assume you will be impressed.
Goodnight all. And good luck to you all in making your impossible dreams possible.
Those who know me will be impressed. Those who don't well let me just assume you will be impressed.
Goodnight all. And good luck to you all in making your impossible dreams possible.
OK, so I am writing this with nine fingers right now. No, this is not some kinky masturbatory experiment.
I cut myself pretty bad at work the other day. Brand new box cutter, nylon band that appeared thicker than it actually was, WHAM, fresh razor blade right into the knuckle of my right index finger. OWWW. The blade came out just as quick as it went in and I'm looking at a straight finger with a cut that I can look into, but oddly enough no blood!!!
Then I bent the finger a little and it was instantly red and dripping. I'm free flowing blood. Hoping there are no vampires around.
After getting patched up, I spent the rest of the day pretty much making sure the bleeding has stopped. It turned out that every time I bent my finger, I would tear open the wound. So it was on to the splint action, leaving my finger immobile for a couple of days.
As it turns out I remember reading that if you have to loose a finger then you want to lose the index finger of your non-dominant hand. Which is the one that is know just useless right now.
Turns out that is true. I figure that about 90% of what I do on a daily basis is unaffected by the splint. And of that 10% that is affected 8% of it is affected simply because the finger is still there, is it were completely gone then I would be able to adjust.
Video games are a problem, and guitar (but I could never play that well anyway). So remember, if you absolutely need to loose a finger, (like the devil bets that you can't light your light ten times in a row) then chop the index of your non-dominant hand.
These are lessons you learn from random books.
R.I.P. Pavarotti. 
We lost one of the best voices in the world today. Luciano, you will be missed.
We lost one of the best voices in the world today. Luciano, you will be missed.
OK, So I had to fire a friend today. And let me be clear, this is not a small thing. I actually discovered that I had stuck up for a person that was guilty of what you adherently defended him against.
A woman came in the store and was a bitch to everyone. When she checked out it was with a person I had come to love and respect and was training to become one of the elite. She left and came back a few minutes later and claimed she left her wallet. I searched the store, and nothing. I gave her a guarantee that her wallet was not in the store. And then she hit me with a staggering question.
"How do you know your employee didn't take it?"
At the time it was a ridiculous question. And I tried to express that as calmly as possible.
"I trust all of the members of my crew, especially Eddie, he is one of my best. If you had left it on the checkstand, he would have let me know. Here is the managers name and number. If you have any questions, you can call him in the morning."
I didn't check the tape for two reasons.
1: I don't need to. Eddie is an honest employee. He would never steel from anyone.
2: I don't know who too use the camera system. (It is not my job too know these things. However: in retrospect it is information that is know needed).
I applaud our GM Alan (I will deny this in public cause he is an ass) for his Sherlock loke deductive reasoning. He found the wallet in the Men's room garage can. And Eddie was caught, on camera, taking it.
The GM called the cops. Luckily he left it there and didn't use any of the cards (there was no cash in it, the customer said this not me) cause if he had then it would have been a felony and he would be serving jail time. We were able to keephim out of jail. And at first I was relieved. Now, I don't know what to think. I have delusions of being a manager, but this stuff is the stuff I hate.
I vouched for this man. I kept him calm when the heartless bitch accused him of stealing based only on the color of his skin (He was not the only person with access to steal it, merely the only minority). And the worst thing of all is that she was right. Not on the minority thing, but on the fact that he took it.
So I ask you guys all
How should I feel?? Everyone today was telling me it was not my foult, which I know. And that I should not feel betrayed.
But I was ???
I was betrayed. This kid, this dumb ass kid, who has been impressing me, and I 'm not easily impressed in my current lie of work, has been impressing me. I have told the upper management, people that I consider family or stronger than blood cause I respect them more than that, that this kid is great and will be asset to their company. And now that is destroyed.
The worst part is that I was told I had to give the lady her wallet back. AWKWARD. Hey, Lady you know how when I was adamant about the fact that my employees were honest, especially Eddie. Well, You were right he is a thief, and I am a horrible judge of character.
I know this blog has been all about me, and that I am hung up on what this means to my image, but you know what this is my fucking blog, what they hell else am I suppose to talk about.
Eddie did something that was wrong. He knew it was wrong and he did it anyway. He knew the lady would be back, he a ton of different opportunities top come clean and tell us. He chose not to. Instead he chose to stick with action, which he KNEW WAS BEING RECORDED!!!!! If your going to be a criminal, and what he did was criminal, then be a smart one and don't do it right underneath a camera.
I guess the moral of this story is that I need to learn how to use the camera system. Which is a good luck lesson since the person who had it installed will not relinquish control of it.
If there are any words of wisdom, or any other morals that I seem to be missing, then please tell me and again thank you for reading this far.
A woman came in the store and was a bitch to everyone. When she checked out it was with a person I had come to love and respect and was training to become one of the elite. She left and came back a few minutes later and claimed she left her wallet. I searched the store, and nothing. I gave her a guarantee that her wallet was not in the store. And then she hit me with a staggering question.
"How do you know your employee didn't take it?"
At the time it was a ridiculous question. And I tried to express that as calmly as possible.
"I trust all of the members of my crew, especially Eddie, he is one of my best. If you had left it on the checkstand, he would have let me know. Here is the managers name and number. If you have any questions, you can call him in the morning."
I didn't check the tape for two reasons.
1: I don't need to. Eddie is an honest employee. He would never steel from anyone.
2: I don't know who too use the camera system. (It is not my job too know these things. However: in retrospect it is information that is know needed).
I applaud our GM Alan (I will deny this in public cause he is an ass) for his Sherlock loke deductive reasoning. He found the wallet in the Men's room garage can. And Eddie was caught, on camera, taking it.
The GM called the cops. Luckily he left it there and didn't use any of the cards (there was no cash in it, the customer said this not me) cause if he had then it would have been a felony and he would be serving jail time. We were able to keephim out of jail. And at first I was relieved. Now, I don't know what to think. I have delusions of being a manager, but this stuff is the stuff I hate.
I vouched for this man. I kept him calm when the heartless bitch accused him of stealing based only on the color of his skin (He was not the only person with access to steal it, merely the only minority). And the worst thing of all is that she was right. Not on the minority thing, but on the fact that he took it.
So I ask you guys all
How should I feel?? Everyone today was telling me it was not my foult, which I know. And that I should not feel betrayed.
But I was ???
I was betrayed. This kid, this dumb ass kid, who has been impressing me, and I 'm not easily impressed in my current lie of work, has been impressing me. I have told the upper management, people that I consider family or stronger than blood cause I respect them more than that, that this kid is great and will be asset to their company. And now that is destroyed.
The worst part is that I was told I had to give the lady her wallet back. AWKWARD. Hey, Lady you know how when I was adamant about the fact that my employees were honest, especially Eddie. Well, You were right he is a thief, and I am a horrible judge of character.
I know this blog has been all about me, and that I am hung up on what this means to my image, but you know what this is my fucking blog, what they hell else am I suppose to talk about.
Eddie did something that was wrong. He knew it was wrong and he did it anyway. He knew the lady would be back, he a ton of different opportunities top come clean and tell us. He chose not to. Instead he chose to stick with action, which he KNEW WAS BEING RECORDED!!!!! If your going to be a criminal, and what he did was criminal, then be a smart one and don't do it right underneath a camera.
I guess the moral of this story is that I need to learn how to use the camera system. Which is a good luck lesson since the person who had it installed will not relinquish control of it.
If there are any words of wisdom, or any other morals that I seem to be missing, then please tell me and again thank you for reading this far.
Caffeine the wonder drug.
Hey all,
I pulled this out of the Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Extraordinary Book of Facts.
Caffeine has been scientifically proven to temporarily increase alertness, comprehension, memory, reflexes, and even the rate of learning. It also helps increase clarity of thought. So if you drink it all the time then you always have these.
However
Too much caffeine can cause hand tremors, loss of coordination or appetite, insomniajavascript:insertSmilie('
',%20'insertTarget');--and in extreme cases, trembling, nausea, heart palpitations, and diarrheajavascript:insertSmilie('
',%20'insertTarget');.
Widely varying the amount of caffeine you ingest can put a strain on your liver, pancreas, heart, and nervous system. And if you're prone to ulcers, caffeine can make your situation worse.
The average American drinks 210 milligrams of caffeine a day. That's equal to two or three cups of coffee, depending on how strong it is.
How you make your coffee has a lot to do with how much caffeine you get. Instant coffee contains 65 milligrams per serving, coffee brewed in a percolator has 80 milligrams, and coffee made using the drip method has 155 milligrams._take that Folgers Crystals.
Top four sources of caffeine in the American diet: coffee, soft drinks, tea, and chocolate, in that order. The average American gets 75 percent of their caffeine from coffee. Other sources include over-the-counter painkillers, appetite suppressants, cold remedies, and some prescription drugs.
Pound for pound, kids often get as much caffeine from chocolate and soft drinks as their parents get from coffee, tea, and other sources.
Have fun all.
Hey all,
I pulled this out of the Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Extraordinary Book of Facts.
Caffeine has been scientifically proven to temporarily increase alertness, comprehension, memory, reflexes, and even the rate of learning. It also helps increase clarity of thought. So if you drink it all the time then you always have these.
However
Too much caffeine can cause hand tremors, loss of coordination or appetite, insomniajavascript:insertSmilie('
',%20'insertTarget');--and in extreme cases, trembling, nausea, heart palpitations, and diarrheajavascript:insertSmilie('',%20'insertTarget');.Widely varying the amount of caffeine you ingest can put a strain on your liver, pancreas, heart, and nervous system. And if you're prone to ulcers, caffeine can make your situation worse.
The average American drinks 210 milligrams of caffeine a day. That's equal to two or three cups of coffee, depending on how strong it is.
How you make your coffee has a lot to do with how much caffeine you get. Instant coffee contains 65 milligrams per serving, coffee brewed in a percolator has 80 milligrams, and coffee made using the drip method has 155 milligrams._take that Folgers Crystals.
Top four sources of caffeine in the American diet: coffee, soft drinks, tea, and chocolate, in that order. The average American gets 75 percent of their caffeine from coffee. Other sources include over-the-counter painkillers, appetite suppressants, cold remedies, and some prescription drugs.
Pound for pound, kids often get as much caffeine from chocolate and soft drinks as their parents get from coffee, tea, and other sources.
Have fun all.
Online Dating Part 4: Intellect
Yay!!!!! Norm gets to sound like a pompous ass now. Now we get to talk about Intellect. This seems to be covered in the dating sites by asking what level of education I want in my match, but I have been through school and I can tell you, honestly, a degree is not an accurate indication of intelligence. I have met some stupid ass people with college degrees. In fact this wave of educated stupid people have lead to the best quote I have ever heard. "Only someone who went to college could say something that stupid."
So for an accurate level of intelligence we simply need to talk. I have to be able to talk to a person. I have always been a good listener, and I am intelligent. I know how to have a conversation, sometimes I am too good at it (thank you Professor Danielson). And I admit that my inability to cope with stupidity is one of the flaws that I am trying to fix.
But my discontent with my personality aside, I know that most of the time me and my mate will be talking. It would help if she were good at it. I also know that she needs to be able to understand the different kinds of communication. There are conversations that are like tennis matches, you bounce a topic back and forth, processing the other persons information, and sending responses back for consideration. When the ball drops, the conversation is done. But there are also bowling types of conversations. I deliver the topic, subject, and resolution and nothing else is discussed. This is how plain information is delivered. I am hungry, I'm getting food. It is fairly straight forward.
Past relationships have been frustrating because my partner did not agree with the idea that not everything needs discussion. And would ask questions about things that don't need discussion. It was frustrating to say the least.
The other thing that is important to me is that I like to talk about everything. No subject is taboo, and everything can be joked about. I know this has caused problems with people in the past but I just don't care. Most of the problems that exist in this world exist because people refuse to check emotions at the door and actually talk about things (again, thanks Mr. Danielson. CSM is screwed if you ever leave).
Intelligence is very important to me. That is probably why 75% of the people in my life are teachers of some sort. And I am not afraid to admit that I am not the smartest of my friends. A lot of people would hate to admit that. I am sure that one of Steven Hawkins friends is saying yeah Stevei is smart, but I could kick his ass in Jeopardy. I'll tell you right now that my friend John has forgotten more about things than I will ever know. And my other friend Dominic somehow has an envious amount access to knowledge that I had not heard yet. He always knows a couple of hours ahead of me about pop culture things. But I am that friend that is the storehouse of useless information. We all are to a certain extent but I have the thought train to pull the most useless facts out for ironic punctuation or just to beat the other table of drunks at bar trivia.
Above all else, I need someone that can hopefully contribute to that and at the very least appreciate it. I'll see you in a couple of days with part 5: Sexuality.
Yay!!!!! Norm gets to sound like a pompous ass now. Now we get to talk about Intellect. This seems to be covered in the dating sites by asking what level of education I want in my match, but I have been through school and I can tell you, honestly, a degree is not an accurate indication of intelligence. I have met some stupid ass people with college degrees. In fact this wave of educated stupid people have lead to the best quote I have ever heard. "Only someone who went to college could say something that stupid."
So for an accurate level of intelligence we simply need to talk. I have to be able to talk to a person. I have always been a good listener, and I am intelligent. I know how to have a conversation, sometimes I am too good at it (thank you Professor Danielson). And I admit that my inability to cope with stupidity is one of the flaws that I am trying to fix.
But my discontent with my personality aside, I know that most of the time me and my mate will be talking. It would help if she were good at it. I also know that she needs to be able to understand the different kinds of communication. There are conversations that are like tennis matches, you bounce a topic back and forth, processing the other persons information, and sending responses back for consideration. When the ball drops, the conversation is done. But there are also bowling types of conversations. I deliver the topic, subject, and resolution and nothing else is discussed. This is how plain information is delivered. I am hungry, I'm getting food. It is fairly straight forward.
Past relationships have been frustrating because my partner did not agree with the idea that not everything needs discussion. And would ask questions about things that don't need discussion. It was frustrating to say the least.
The other thing that is important to me is that I like to talk about everything. No subject is taboo, and everything can be joked about. I know this has caused problems with people in the past but I just don't care. Most of the problems that exist in this world exist because people refuse to check emotions at the door and actually talk about things (again, thanks Mr. Danielson. CSM is screwed if you ever leave).
Intelligence is very important to me. That is probably why 75% of the people in my life are teachers of some sort. And I am not afraid to admit that I am not the smartest of my friends. A lot of people would hate to admit that. I am sure that one of Steven Hawkins friends is saying yeah Stevei is smart, but I could kick his ass in Jeopardy. I'll tell you right now that my friend John has forgotten more about things than I will ever know. And my other friend Dominic somehow has an envious amount access to knowledge that I had not heard yet. He always knows a couple of hours ahead of me about pop culture things. But I am that friend that is the storehouse of useless information. We all are to a certain extent but I have the thought train to pull the most useless facts out for ironic punctuation or just to beat the other table of drunks at bar trivia.
Above all else, I need someone that can hopefully contribute to that and at the very least appreciate it. I'll see you in a couple of days with part 5: Sexuality.
Online Dating Part 3: The Financial
I covered this a little in part two, but there seems to be a strange emphasis on jobs in these dating sites. Now, I know that we all want someone that has a job. And there are some people that feel threatened when their partner makes more money than they do, which is sad. Even worse is the person that feels that he/she does not need to pay for anything.
We live in the San Francisco Bay Area, the two income house hold is a requirement for anyone below the median income levels. And since we are not even living together yet, just dating and taking it slow, my future ex-girlfriend needs to be able to support her own life.
I will not pay your bills for you. If you need help then yes, I can help you out. But if you think that I'm gonna take over your financial responsibility for the promise of what is sure to mediocre sex (it always is in the beginning, we'll get to that later), then you should know that I believe in legalizing prostitution but I will not support it through third parties. Besides if I was gonna pay for it then I would simply drive to Nevada and pay the pros to get what I wanted.
I think the problem with the job situation is that people see it as a battle of the sexes. Whoever makes the most money has the control. I don't feel that way. I am more than happy to have a girlfriend that makes more than I do. And no I don't really care what she does to make it as long as it is legal.
No, the big question here is how she treats me if she makes more. If she is rubbing it in my face or if she looks down on me because of a couple thousand dollars a year, then it ain't gonna work. And if she expects me to be her kept man because she is making the six or seven figure income, well that is not gonna work either. I am a man, I have an identity separate from my girlfriend and I expect my girlfriend to be the same.
Make your money, I'll make mine. I'll spend mine (some of which I will spend on you). And you can spend yours (it would be nice if some of it was spent on me, as well). If all goes right and we get along. Then great we'll find a way to share some money, but it is important that we still both have our own. I do not relinquish that, and would not ask my girlfriends to.
That's it for the financial question. See you in a couple of days with part 4: Intellect.
I covered this a little in part two, but there seems to be a strange emphasis on jobs in these dating sites. Now, I know that we all want someone that has a job. And there are some people that feel threatened when their partner makes more money than they do, which is sad. Even worse is the person that feels that he/she does not need to pay for anything.
We live in the San Francisco Bay Area, the two income house hold is a requirement for anyone below the median income levels. And since we are not even living together yet, just dating and taking it slow, my future ex-girlfriend needs to be able to support her own life.
I will not pay your bills for you. If you need help then yes, I can help you out. But if you think that I'm gonna take over your financial responsibility for the promise of what is sure to mediocre sex (it always is in the beginning, we'll get to that later), then you should know that I believe in legalizing prostitution but I will not support it through third parties. Besides if I was gonna pay for it then I would simply drive to Nevada and pay the pros to get what I wanted.
I think the problem with the job situation is that people see it as a battle of the sexes. Whoever makes the most money has the control. I don't feel that way. I am more than happy to have a girlfriend that makes more than I do. And no I don't really care what she does to make it as long as it is legal.
No, the big question here is how she treats me if she makes more. If she is rubbing it in my face or if she looks down on me because of a couple thousand dollars a year, then it ain't gonna work. And if she expects me to be her kept man because she is making the six or seven figure income, well that is not gonna work either. I am a man, I have an identity separate from my girlfriend and I expect my girlfriend to be the same.
Make your money, I'll make mine. I'll spend mine (some of which I will spend on you). And you can spend yours (it would be nice if some of it was spent on me, as well). If all goes right and we get along. Then great we'll find a way to share some money, but it is important that we still both have our own. I do not relinquish that, and would not ask my girlfriends to.
That's it for the financial question. See you in a couple of days with part 4: Intellect.
Online Dating Part 2: The Physical
The most boring part of any profile is that list of things that you have to choose to identify your physical preferences. The list of height, weight, eyes, hair, build see even reading the list is boring.
It is particularly hard for me since I don't really care about a lot of it. I would love to tell you I am attracted to tall, white, athletic, women that have red or raven hair. But that does not explain the mild wood I got when I met my new hair stylist today. She was about 5'3", either Latino, mix of African and White, or really really tan, and she was curvy. She doesn't fit the description of what I would be attracted to but don't tell my penis that, it was quiet happy that we met her. Basically I don't care what color eyes you have. I would request that you have eyes although a chick with an eye patch could be sexy.
So, what would my ideal woman be?
I don't know. I can tell you what I consistently find sexy, but I have dated a woman who falls into this category, so I do not know if it will work.
First off, there is something very sexy about a tall woman. I'm 6'2". Whenever I can find a woman that I can see eye-to-eye with, literally, then I am impressed. Red or Raven hair is a plus,, and I like curvy or athletic women.
The weight choice is something that I sometimes feel a bit hypocritical about. I have yo-yoed my weight my entire life. I am not fat, and I'm not athletic. Unfortunately, a man can't identify himself as curvy. That leaves us with Average, whch is boring, and a few extra pounds, which when shot through the internet decoder ring translates to fat and I don't want to admit it. If only they would put cuddly on the list.
Then we have the risk of women who claim curvy when they shouldn't. There is a fine line between curvy and a few extra pounds. Curvy use to be the staple of feminine beauty. Back in the days of Bettie Page and Marylin Monroe (long before Mischa Barton and Paris Hilton and all these other Skeletor bitches took over the role of sex symbol. Hey Olsen Twins EAT SOMETHING!!! Sorry )
Curvy is when the breasts and hips roll out in smooth curves from the stomach. If they stick out the same length we call it an hourglass form, and it is perfect. But only slightly less perfect is when one set of curves stick out a little bit farther than the other. Then you get that nice acoustic guitar shape that is equally sexy. If the curves you are claiming are formed by anything other than your breasts of hips then you are not curvy, you got a few extra pounds. Which is cool, just not my cup of tea.
As for the athletic women, well What can I say? The thought of a woman that can beat the shit out of me is kind of sexy.
I hesitate to mention race and religion. Now bare with me here cause this one always seems like a trap. For the record I chose White, Native American, and Middle Eastern. These are stereotypically what I find most attractive. That being said, I don't care. I have never had a problem with someone based on her race. It usually boils down to problems with the individual, which is who I'm dating. I hate people that blame their bad habits on their ethnicity. That is a huge cop out and a huge turnoff.
Religion is a different story. I have a tendency to rub Catholics the wrong way. And because of that I just stay away from them. And since most Latino women I have met have been Catholic I tend to stay away from them as well.
I know we should all be proud of our heritage wait, if you're a minority you should be proud, lately white people are expected to be ashamed of their heritage. And as long as you understand that I consider myself an American, the fact that I am French, German, Italian, Polish, Cherokee, Spanish, and Canadian (as well as others) means nothing to me. I don't celebrate Bastille Day, or Canada Day, I've never been to Oktoberfest (although I want to go cause I'm a drunk not because I'm part German), and I don't own a casino. My ethnic background did nothing to form who I am.
As for the other things on the list Job, yeah you should have one. You should make enough to support yourself, cause I'm not paying your bills for you. I have known guys that start dating a woman and are paying the bills for her place as well as his own. That just seems like a form of third party prostitution. It's kinda sad.
I don't care if a woman smokes, just not inside my house. And I don't care if she drinks, as long as she is not an angry drunk. I've known too many of those, it's not fun. A huge plus if she happens to drink Bourbon or Scotch, that is really sexy.
So that is what I am looking for, a tall, athletic, red or raven-haired beauty that drinks but doesn't smoke, has eyes and a job, is not Catholic and doesn't let there ethnic background define them. But she can be short, and curvy, and blonde, and she can smoke. Or just be the girl that cut my hair today and we'll go from there.
If you are out there, give me a call.
See ya in a couple of days with the part three.
The most boring part of any profile is that list of things that you have to choose to identify your physical preferences. The list of height, weight, eyes, hair, build see even reading the list is boring.
It is particularly hard for me since I don't really care about a lot of it. I would love to tell you I am attracted to tall, white, athletic, women that have red or raven hair. But that does not explain the mild wood I got when I met my new hair stylist today. She was about 5'3", either Latino, mix of African and White, or really really tan, and she was curvy. She doesn't fit the description of what I would be attracted to but don't tell my penis that, it was quiet happy that we met her. Basically I don't care what color eyes you have. I would request that you have eyes although a chick with an eye patch could be sexy.
So, what would my ideal woman be?
I don't know. I can tell you what I consistently find sexy, but I have dated a woman who falls into this category, so I do not know if it will work.
First off, there is something very sexy about a tall woman. I'm 6'2". Whenever I can find a woman that I can see eye-to-eye with, literally, then I am impressed. Red or Raven hair is a plus,, and I like curvy or athletic women.
The weight choice is something that I sometimes feel a bit hypocritical about. I have yo-yoed my weight my entire life. I am not fat, and I'm not athletic. Unfortunately, a man can't identify himself as curvy. That leaves us with Average, whch is boring, and a few extra pounds, which when shot through the internet decoder ring translates to fat and I don't want to admit it. If only they would put cuddly on the list.
Then we have the risk of women who claim curvy when they shouldn't. There is a fine line between curvy and a few extra pounds. Curvy use to be the staple of feminine beauty. Back in the days of Bettie Page and Marylin Monroe (long before Mischa Barton and Paris Hilton and all these other Skeletor bitches took over the role of sex symbol. Hey Olsen Twins EAT SOMETHING!!! Sorry )
Curvy is when the breasts and hips roll out in smooth curves from the stomach. If they stick out the same length we call it an hourglass form, and it is perfect. But only slightly less perfect is when one set of curves stick out a little bit farther than the other. Then you get that nice acoustic guitar shape that is equally sexy. If the curves you are claiming are formed by anything other than your breasts of hips then you are not curvy, you got a few extra pounds. Which is cool, just not my cup of tea.
As for the athletic women, well What can I say? The thought of a woman that can beat the shit out of me is kind of sexy.
I hesitate to mention race and religion. Now bare with me here cause this one always seems like a trap. For the record I chose White, Native American, and Middle Eastern. These are stereotypically what I find most attractive. That being said, I don't care. I have never had a problem with someone based on her race. It usually boils down to problems with the individual, which is who I'm dating. I hate people that blame their bad habits on their ethnicity. That is a huge cop out and a huge turnoff.
Religion is a different story. I have a tendency to rub Catholics the wrong way. And because of that I just stay away from them. And since most Latino women I have met have been Catholic I tend to stay away from them as well.
I know we should all be proud of our heritage wait, if you're a minority you should be proud, lately white people are expected to be ashamed of their heritage. And as long as you understand that I consider myself an American, the fact that I am French, German, Italian, Polish, Cherokee, Spanish, and Canadian (as well as others) means nothing to me. I don't celebrate Bastille Day, or Canada Day, I've never been to Oktoberfest (although I want to go cause I'm a drunk not because I'm part German), and I don't own a casino. My ethnic background did nothing to form who I am.
As for the other things on the list Job, yeah you should have one. You should make enough to support yourself, cause I'm not paying your bills for you. I have known guys that start dating a woman and are paying the bills for her place as well as his own. That just seems like a form of third party prostitution. It's kinda sad.
I don't care if a woman smokes, just not inside my house. And I don't care if she drinks, as long as she is not an angry drunk. I've known too many of those, it's not fun. A huge plus if she happens to drink Bourbon or Scotch, that is really sexy.
So that is what I am looking for, a tall, athletic, red or raven-haired beauty that drinks but doesn't smoke, has eyes and a job, is not Catholic and doesn't let there ethnic background define them. But she can be short, and curvy, and blonde, and she can smoke. Or just be the girl that cut my hair today and we'll go from there.
If you are out there, give me a call.
See ya in a couple of days with the part three.
Online Dating Part 1
I have decided to dive head first into the world of online dating. While it is true I have returned home after three years in LA, I feel as if I am a new face in a new town. Things have changed and I need someone to feel me around the town a little, and just feel me in general.
The problem I am faced with is the ludicrous nature of the online portfolio. Describe yourself, in 4000 characters. Four thousand characters!!!! I can't even give an accurate description of myself in 4000 words, let alone letters. And that is followed by asking me who I want to meet by using the tried and true method of filling in bubbles. I learned long ago that that is not the way to determine life's choices. I took Job-o in high school and according to those bubbles I should be a cop or a guidance counselor. Instead, I'm sitting in a diner writing this, and I am fine with that.
As for matching me with my life mate, I approach the process with a skeptical romanticism. I really want it to work, so far I have found some fun people. And I have sent out winks and emails, and in return I have nothing. My 4000 characters must not have been that impressive. And I think I know why.
The portrait that I put online, has to be approved.
Now, I can understand that approving pictures, you need to make sure that you can actually see the person, and that they are fully clothed (Craigslist could learn a thing from that one). But for me to have to get someone else's approval to describe who I am, is ridiculous. And automatically promotes dishonesty.
Those who really know me will know that I have a tendency to swear. I don't say fuck for the hell of it, but I realize as a writer that there the sometimes the point is made very clear with a well placed F-bomb (trust me the word will get a good workout in a later section of this blog). The point is, how can I describe myself if I can't do it in a manner that is true to me. The whole thing is just fucking frustrating.
What follows here is the profile I could not put up on the website. It is longer than 4000 words, a lot longer. And I hope to illustrate why a website can not find me a perfect match.
The blog itself will be a seven part series. Relax this is the first one. But in the remainder of the time I will try to explain what I want on the four fronts of a relationship.
The first front is Physical. This is easiest and most pointless to do with bubbles. What do I physically want to see in a partner?
The second front is Financial. What do I want my partner to do? For a living you perverts, don't jump the gun.
The third front is the intellectual front. Probably one of the most important for me and one of the most difficult to explain.
Finally, the Sexual front this is the most fun, and can be the most frustrating. For me it requires something very specific, and no I am not talking about that putting the condom on with your mouth trick. There is a very certain think that I need any suitor to understand, and I will explain that one in detail later.
All of this will lead up to the description of the intimate emotional life mate that I am looking for. That emotional connection that Dr Phil promises he can give me, or I get six months free, yay!!!
I'll see you in a couple of days with part two The Physical.
I have decided to dive head first into the world of online dating. While it is true I have returned home after three years in LA, I feel as if I am a new face in a new town. Things have changed and I need someone to feel me around the town a little, and just feel me in general.
The problem I am faced with is the ludicrous nature of the online portfolio. Describe yourself, in 4000 characters. Four thousand characters!!!! I can't even give an accurate description of myself in 4000 words, let alone letters. And that is followed by asking me who I want to meet by using the tried and true method of filling in bubbles. I learned long ago that that is not the way to determine life's choices. I took Job-o in high school and according to those bubbles I should be a cop or a guidance counselor. Instead, I'm sitting in a diner writing this, and I am fine with that.
As for matching me with my life mate, I approach the process with a skeptical romanticism. I really want it to work, so far I have found some fun people. And I have sent out winks and emails, and in return I have nothing. My 4000 characters must not have been that impressive. And I think I know why.
The portrait that I put online, has to be approved.
Now, I can understand that approving pictures, you need to make sure that you can actually see the person, and that they are fully clothed (Craigslist could learn a thing from that one). But for me to have to get someone else's approval to describe who I am, is ridiculous. And automatically promotes dishonesty.
Those who really know me will know that I have a tendency to swear. I don't say fuck for the hell of it, but I realize as a writer that there the sometimes the point is made very clear with a well placed F-bomb (trust me the word will get a good workout in a later section of this blog). The point is, how can I describe myself if I can't do it in a manner that is true to me. The whole thing is just fucking frustrating.
What follows here is the profile I could not put up on the website. It is longer than 4000 words, a lot longer. And I hope to illustrate why a website can not find me a perfect match.
The blog itself will be a seven part series. Relax this is the first one. But in the remainder of the time I will try to explain what I want on the four fronts of a relationship.
The first front is Physical. This is easiest and most pointless to do with bubbles. What do I physically want to see in a partner?
The second front is Financial. What do I want my partner to do? For a living you perverts, don't jump the gun.
The third front is the intellectual front. Probably one of the most important for me and one of the most difficult to explain.
Finally, the Sexual front this is the most fun, and can be the most frustrating. For me it requires something very specific, and no I am not talking about that putting the condom on with your mouth trick. There is a very certain think that I need any suitor to understand, and I will explain that one in detail later.
All of this will lead up to the description of the intimate emotional life mate that I am looking for. That emotional connection that Dr Phil promises he can give me, or I get six months free, yay!!!
I'll see you in a couple of days with part two The Physical.
Okay, So I just got done watching the documentary "FUCK."
And let me just say that it is a great film that applies a frank and open discussion on one of my favorite subjects. It is very rare that you have a film that can gather Kevin Smith, Bill Maher, Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, Sam Donaldson, and Tera Patrick together for a common subject. I loved the film and recommend it to anyone that loves language, or just loves the F-word.
That being said it was a documentary, and it did need to have the other end of the spectrum. There were people interviewed that did not like the F-word and in fact are blaming its rampant use, by people like me, for the downfall of society.
When the discussion of the use of the word finally got around to protecting the children, most of the participants were of the same opinion. Protecting children is the job of the parents. Then entered Alan Keyes, the self proclaimed genuine conservative, who said that pawning this off as the responsibility of the parent and then giving them a society contradicts there efforts is beyond a joke, it is a shame. The point being that we have to help parents protect there children by acting in a family friendly way every point in our lives.
Alan, it does't work that way. I live in the America where it is my right act like I want to act. My freedom does not go away because you have a child. In fact, you should consider the fact that there are people like me in the world before you bring a child into it. You need to account for the fact that there are people in this world who do not care about you or your child. We're not going out of our way to harm them or anything like that, we just don't care that they exist. And, we are not going to change the way we live because you are too lazy to use a condom.
My family taught me to swear. And my parents knew to arm me with the knowledge on that most people in this world don't care about me. Because to truly prepare a child for the bad things in life, you need to talk to them about the things. When you to protect your child from drowning you do not drain all the Pools in the neighborhoods. You teach them how to swim and what to do when they fall in the water. Ridding the world of potty mouths is not gonna protect the children. It is sweeping it under the rug. Our children, and by "our" and mean your children, would be better protected by teaching them what the words mean, and why it is a useful word to use. This is true for all words, not just Fuck.
Pat Boone actually offered up the following solution, instead of saying fuck, when in times that expletives are needed he shouts out his name. So BOONE, is the new Fuck. And the only reason I would except this idea is the following theory. When you eliminate something, another thing invariably takes it's place. This is true in every system that we know. For years people have wanted to do away with pennies. They are worthless and no one uses them anymore. But, if we were to do that then nickels would become the bane of our existence as far as pocket change.
You can apply the same theory to this discussion. If fuck were taken away from us and we were forced to use Boone, then whenever someone said Boone you would know what they meant and Boone would them become a dirty word. We would have to abolish use of the word Boone, and anytime we can make it unlawful to mention Pat Boone, I'm a happy guy.
But I don't think this plan will work. Instead, I have my own modest proposal.
I am making a promise to all the Allen Keys, Pat Boones, and Robert Peters of the world. I will stop saying Fuck, if you stop fucking.
We have made it very clear in this world, through the FCC, and the people like Robert Peters of moralityinmedia.org, that it is not the expletive use of the word that it is offensive. The FCC has ruled that expletive uses of the word fuck, as in oh fuck that's great or that girl looks fucking amazing, are not obscene. Which is why Saving Private Ryan can be aired uncut. They have further said that it is the literal use of the word, as in I'm gonna fuck that girl or let's fuck, that is obscene.
So, I agree to not use the word at all in any form. If conservatives stop fucking, in the literal sense. Now I know what your saying. I don't fuck, I make love. BULLSHIT!!! The word fuck means the insertion of the penis into the vagina. It can be modified to mean into the ass or mouth resulting the derivatives of ass-fuck and face-fuck, which I allow under the rules of this agreement. Go ahead and get your blowjobs and have anal sex all you want. But if you are gonna take the joy of this word away from me, you are saying that I am not adult enough to use it. Well, if you are not adult enough to acknowledge the fact that it is a viable word, then you are not adult enough to do it.
Tell me it is not a fun word to say. The joy of the word, comes from the erotic use of the phonetics you get when you combine the F, the U, the C, and the K. It is a rhythmic thumping sound that perfectly describes the action that it represents, it's the original onomatopoeia. The word fuck is accompanied by this build up and sudden release of pressure off the lower lip for the FU sound, and a hollow thumping sound off the back of the tongue for the CK everyone say it now FFFFFFUU-CK. Hold on I need a cigarette.
I believe this is a fair trade for the following reasons. By asking me to stop using it your asking me to give up something that makes me who I am. I have a foul mouth. It is part of me, all of my friends now it. So by asking me to stop being me, you are taking away a very important part of me. You need to sacrifice something as well. Something very important. You can no longer fuck.
Still wanna rid the world of it? Still think it is a dirty word?
And let me just say that it is a great film that applies a frank and open discussion on one of my favorite subjects. It is very rare that you have a film that can gather Kevin Smith, Bill Maher, Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, Sam Donaldson, and Tera Patrick together for a common subject. I loved the film and recommend it to anyone that loves language, or just loves the F-word.
That being said it was a documentary, and it did need to have the other end of the spectrum. There were people interviewed that did not like the F-word and in fact are blaming its rampant use, by people like me, for the downfall of society.
When the discussion of the use of the word finally got around to protecting the children, most of the participants were of the same opinion. Protecting children is the job of the parents. Then entered Alan Keyes, the self proclaimed genuine conservative, who said that pawning this off as the responsibility of the parent and then giving them a society contradicts there efforts is beyond a joke, it is a shame. The point being that we have to help parents protect there children by acting in a family friendly way every point in our lives.
Alan, it does't work that way. I live in the America where it is my right act like I want to act. My freedom does not go away because you have a child. In fact, you should consider the fact that there are people like me in the world before you bring a child into it. You need to account for the fact that there are people in this world who do not care about you or your child. We're not going out of our way to harm them or anything like that, we just don't care that they exist. And, we are not going to change the way we live because you are too lazy to use a condom.
My family taught me to swear. And my parents knew to arm me with the knowledge on that most people in this world don't care about me. Because to truly prepare a child for the bad things in life, you need to talk to them about the things. When you to protect your child from drowning you do not drain all the Pools in the neighborhoods. You teach them how to swim and what to do when they fall in the water. Ridding the world of potty mouths is not gonna protect the children. It is sweeping it under the rug. Our children, and by "our" and mean your children, would be better protected by teaching them what the words mean, and why it is a useful word to use. This is true for all words, not just Fuck.
Pat Boone actually offered up the following solution, instead of saying fuck, when in times that expletives are needed he shouts out his name. So BOONE, is the new Fuck. And the only reason I would except this idea is the following theory. When you eliminate something, another thing invariably takes it's place. This is true in every system that we know. For years people have wanted to do away with pennies. They are worthless and no one uses them anymore. But, if we were to do that then nickels would become the bane of our existence as far as pocket change.
You can apply the same theory to this discussion. If fuck were taken away from us and we were forced to use Boone, then whenever someone said Boone you would know what they meant and Boone would them become a dirty word. We would have to abolish use of the word Boone, and anytime we can make it unlawful to mention Pat Boone, I'm a happy guy.
But I don't think this plan will work. Instead, I have my own modest proposal.
I am making a promise to all the Allen Keys, Pat Boones, and Robert Peters of the world. I will stop saying Fuck, if you stop fucking.
We have made it very clear in this world, through the FCC, and the people like Robert Peters of moralityinmedia.org, that it is not the expletive use of the word that it is offensive. The FCC has ruled that expletive uses of the word fuck, as in oh fuck that's great or that girl looks fucking amazing, are not obscene. Which is why Saving Private Ryan can be aired uncut. They have further said that it is the literal use of the word, as in I'm gonna fuck that girl or let's fuck, that is obscene.
So, I agree to not use the word at all in any form. If conservatives stop fucking, in the literal sense. Now I know what your saying. I don't fuck, I make love. BULLSHIT!!! The word fuck means the insertion of the penis into the vagina. It can be modified to mean into the ass or mouth resulting the derivatives of ass-fuck and face-fuck, which I allow under the rules of this agreement. Go ahead and get your blowjobs and have anal sex all you want. But if you are gonna take the joy of this word away from me, you are saying that I am not adult enough to use it. Well, if you are not adult enough to acknowledge the fact that it is a viable word, then you are not adult enough to do it.
Tell me it is not a fun word to say. The joy of the word, comes from the erotic use of the phonetics you get when you combine the F, the U, the C, and the K. It is a rhythmic thumping sound that perfectly describes the action that it represents, it's the original onomatopoeia. The word fuck is accompanied by this build up and sudden release of pressure off the lower lip for the FU sound, and a hollow thumping sound off the back of the tongue for the CK everyone say it now FFFFFFUU-CK. Hold on I need a cigarette.
I believe this is a fair trade for the following reasons. By asking me to stop using it your asking me to give up something that makes me who I am. I have a foul mouth. It is part of me, all of my friends now it. So by asking me to stop being me, you are taking away a very important part of me. You need to sacrifice something as well. Something very important. You can no longer fuck.
Still wanna rid the world of it? Still think it is a dirty word?
FEBRUARY 2008
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