Damn.
So it seems that I'm getting my money's worth, and the site lets you maintain your account through the time paid.
In the immortal words of my boyfriend, just last night, "I might as well get my money's worth of spank material while I can..."
I should be standing up against the practices of said company, my gut tells me so. However, mere inches below said gut takes over and clouds my brain with kid-like turrets shouts of joyful glee when I see a nice rack on here. No, I'm not saying I have a wiener. Really. Just a strong enjoyment of naked people; however, I dislike so much that I'm being lead around by my wallet to see what I could be seeing for free, if I just had the right friends. ;P
.............................
I'm turning into such a grandma in my old age.
Recently had my first strip club experiences, with my boyfriend. (He too popped his strip club cherry that night.) The place was awesome, called Union Jack's in Portland. (We also hit up Mary's, but a particular dancer there kind of soured us on strippers. For 5 minutes. Hee hee.) Anyway. Am I seriously the only person out there with a minor letdown after the first strip club experience? I hated the corporate aspect. I felt weird for buying something that I revere so much, you know? Sex is seriously one of, if not the, most awesome enjoyments being alive has to offer. Capitalizing off of it apparently makes my tummy turn. I was so torn the night we were there, between what I feel is right within me, and what my libido was pumping through my veins. At one point, afterward, my old man exasperatedly said to me, "Can't you just enjoy it like a normal person?". He's right, I really shouldn't feel that way. I'm too hard on myself or something. I look at the entirety of my friends and think, Why can't I be like them? Why can't I just turn off that button that wants to connect with people, and enjoy the ass in my face for exactly what it is and just that: an ass in my face.
Anyhoo.
So, in a nutshell. I guess I'm gonna be here off and on until the membership runs out. The 'eyes' won ;P
Ok, that was bad, even for me. 
So it seems that I'm getting my money's worth, and the site lets you maintain your account through the time paid.
In the immortal words of my boyfriend, just last night, "I might as well get my money's worth of spank material while I can..."
I should be standing up against the practices of said company, my gut tells me so. However, mere inches below said gut takes over and clouds my brain with kid-like turrets shouts of joyful glee when I see a nice rack on here. No, I'm not saying I have a wiener. Really. Just a strong enjoyment of naked people; however, I dislike so much that I'm being lead around by my wallet to see what I could be seeing for free, if I just had the right friends. ;P
.............................
I'm turning into such a grandma in my old age.
Recently had my first strip club experiences, with my boyfriend. (He too popped his strip club cherry that night.) The place was awesome, called Union Jack's in Portland. (We also hit up Mary's, but a particular dancer there kind of soured us on strippers. For 5 minutes. Hee hee.) Anyway. Am I seriously the only person out there with a minor letdown after the first strip club experience? I hated the corporate aspect. I felt weird for buying something that I revere so much, you know? Sex is seriously one of, if not the, most awesome enjoyments being alive has to offer. Capitalizing off of it apparently makes my tummy turn. I was so torn the night we were there, between what I feel is right within me, and what my libido was pumping through my veins. At one point, afterward, my old man exasperatedly said to me, "Can't you just enjoy it like a normal person?". He's right, I really shouldn't feel that way. I'm too hard on myself or something. I look at the entirety of my friends and think, Why can't I be like them? Why can't I just turn off that button that wants to connect with people, and enjoy the ass in my face for exactly what it is and just that: an ass in my face.
Anyhoo.
So, in a nutshell. I guess I'm gonna be here off and on until the membership runs out. The 'eyes' won ;P
Ok, that was bad, even for me. This is my 1 or 2 day notice.
I'm not sure how long I'll hang on to this to ensure it gets passed around.
What once was a great website, standing against the mainstream fiercely, is nothing but a shitty, corporate piece of sludge now.
This past year on SG has been saddening at best, when I heard about Lithium Picnic leaving, followed by the "new sg" - too many skeleton girls who look fake and altered, with the shitty catty personalities to boot.
To top it all off, tonight I read this Link only to further my frustrations with this particular website.
I'm sad, I have made lots of good friends here, connected with many people across the world.
I can't stay though, not after knowing this now. I will always side with the art and the artist. Always.
I'm leaving this up so the few people that are on my friends list will read this, and read what is actually happening here on this site; before I cancel my membership never to return.
There are numerous sites that showcase truly alternative women, if you fear giving up your precious naked tatted bitches. Tits are tits, and the ones that are showcased here likely have been sold elsewhere, the images of them anyhow.
I won't tell you what to do, but I will loudly state my thoughts and my intentions after reading this information.
I have nothing left to say about this.
..........
For those of you that might wish to stay in contact, I have myspace, aim, yahoo, gtalk... lol. And email. PM me if you want to further communications beyond SG site.
Other than that, in a few days, this particular bump in the cyberspace of SG will be void of my presence.
Peace.
I'm not sure how long I'll hang on to this to ensure it gets passed around.
What once was a great website, standing against the mainstream fiercely, is nothing but a shitty, corporate piece of sludge now.
This past year on SG has been saddening at best, when I heard about Lithium Picnic leaving, followed by the "new sg" - too many skeleton girls who look fake and altered, with the shitty catty personalities to boot.
To top it all off, tonight I read this Link only to further my frustrations with this particular website.
I'm sad, I have made lots of good friends here, connected with many people across the world.
I can't stay though, not after knowing this now. I will always side with the art and the artist. Always.
I'm leaving this up so the few people that are on my friends list will read this, and read what is actually happening here on this site; before I cancel my membership never to return.
There are numerous sites that showcase truly alternative women, if you fear giving up your precious naked tatted bitches. Tits are tits, and the ones that are showcased here likely have been sold elsewhere, the images of them anyhow.
I won't tell you what to do, but I will loudly state my thoughts and my intentions after reading this information.
I have nothing left to say about this.
..........
For those of you that might wish to stay in contact, I have myspace, aim, yahoo, gtalk... lol. And email. PM me if you want to further communications beyond SG site.
Other than that, in a few days, this particular bump in the cyberspace of SG will be void of my presence.
Peace.
So mini blog post for tonight.
So this week, I've had a few back and forth text mini-arguments (not even arguments really, more like uncomfortable conversations) with my love over our cell phones. I know, silly, right. But today, we had one and it was frustrating, but in the middle of it he sends me a sexy one that says "unf unf x 100" . How sweet is that
It didn't get to me until tonight, but who cares. It's the thought that counts.
Unf is basically this word for "you so sexy/ I wanna do ya/ soudns you make whilst doing it" that is actually something that originated on our Everquest server forum-board, www.druzzilro.com. It's kind of a special word from him
Anyway.
It was a thoughtful note, and it made me smile. I love little things like that. It really shows how much he cares, yanno? It takes a big person to say something romantic in the middle of a little fight or argument. I'm all giddy and warm all over now, though I love my Darry. 
So this week, I've had a few back and forth text mini-arguments (not even arguments really, more like uncomfortable conversations) with my love over our cell phones. I know, silly, right. But today, we had one and it was frustrating, but in the middle of it he sends me a sexy one that says "unf unf x 100" . How sweet is that
It didn't get to me until tonight, but who cares. It's the thought that counts.Unf is basically this word for "you so sexy/ I wanna do ya/ soudns you make whilst doing it" that is actually something that originated on our Everquest server forum-board, www.druzzilro.com. It's kind of a special word from him
Anyway.
It was a thoughtful note, and it made me smile. I love little things like that. It really shows how much he cares, yanno? It takes a big person to say something romantic in the middle of a little fight or argument. I'm all giddy and warm all over now, though
I love my Darry. Talk about a frustrating start to the day. 
...
..........
So, Brian Regan was pretty good last night. The seating was awful -- it was so crowded on the floor, that I had to either have my arm over Darry' shoulders, or his over mine, so the right side of my body wasn't sitting in the other guy's lap! It was so warm, so much body heat! They do *not* need heaters there. The seats were so narrow, that when I breathed in deeply a couple times, I pinched a nerve in my back, twice, so today my back is already fugged up. Gawdammit.
It was outside, in the mountains. So beautiful, a winery in the mountains, and what with the wind of the past couple days, the sky was SO clear. So amazingly beautiful.
.......
I've been planning a surprise/sexy night for my baby in my head for a couple weeks, and tonight is the night, unless we end up gaming/D&Ding all night. It really depends on how tired he is. We've had to shuffle it around the past couple weeks, and well, that just sucks! But I guess that's a part of life, adapting and going with the flow.
Speaking of flowing.
How many of you feel... floaty? Like life is happening around you, without asking you what you think or feel? Or as if maybe your actions don't feel as if they are your own, like you are on auto-pilot, watching yourself from outside?
To that I say this:
Take in that experience, learn form it, and move onward. Lingering on anything is just badbadbad.
What can you learn from that, you say? Well, for one thing, is that how you want your life to be lived? No.
People have the power to change their own brain chemistry. No pill or medication has the same power over yourself that *you* do.
Be proactive.
A little work now, saves a lot of hassle later. That can be applied to absolutely everything in life, and be extremely beneficial.
Ground yourself.
Get the fuck back into your body!
When we are properly grounded, we are in control. And that is when good things happen, BECAUSE grounded people MAKE things happen, and have the consciousness to say NO to bad things they do NOT want to happen.
I personally visualize a little movie in my head when I'm feeling a little too floaty.
Be spontaneous.
Tis the spice of life. Push yourself to do new things, try new food, meet new people. Don't plan everything out! In Washington state, my stepmom used to say, "If we waited for good weather, we'd never go outside." Apply that to yourself--If you keep waiting for perfection, you're just gonna be stuck inside on a lot of fun days ^_^
Own it.
You. Own YOU. Own your successes and failures. Own them hard.
If you don't learn from your failures, you are destined to repeat them over. And over. And over.
Pointing fingers is no way to self-improve.
Own your successes.
You made them happen, you deserve credit from yourself, more than from anyone else, for doing so.
Don't live in fear.
Fear of growth, change; that's for sissies.
Practice selfless acts.
Ok, haha. Cheesey. Yes. Sounds like a bumper sticker? Perhaps Do one selfless act a day, and you will reap the positive rewards that your body will replenish you with. There is actual data on how the body changes after doing something so positive. Body language/posture changes, facial expression changes, tone of voice drastically changes. Really quite amazing.
Live a life void of regret; full of honor.
Simple - do not live a life that will lead you to have regrets later. Weigh your options soundly and smartly when they come up. My father used to say to me as a child, that maturity is simply making the right decision. There is honor in that, no?
Lastly...
Speak up.
If there is something unjust, bring it to light. If there is something beautiful, bring it to light. So many people live in blissful, self perpetuated ignorance. Denying that there is both beauty and impurity in the world is ignorance, and refusing to act on either is just sad. Explore both sides, be heard. Never go down without a fight, or at least without being heard.
This is all in the same vein as my post yesterday, about my mother. She cultivated these in me, my whole life. Sadly... They were never truly grown or harvested I guess, until after her death. It's amazing what you learn from someone from beyond the grave, or simply when they are just gone from your life.
She still rocks my soul on a daily basis.
I think she knew. She knew me.
She knew how sensitive I was as a child.
She knew I abhorred and feared change.
She helped me to grow a thick skin.
She helped me to require so very little from other people, but to expect so much at the same time.
Because I deserve it.
She deserved it.
She knew I was just like her.
.............
So, Brian Regan was pretty good last night. The seating was awful -- it was so crowded on the floor, that I had to either have my arm over Darry' shoulders, or his over mine, so the right side of my body wasn't sitting in the other guy's lap! It was so warm, so much body heat! They do *not* need heaters there. The seats were so narrow, that when I breathed in deeply a couple times, I pinched a nerve in my back, twice, so today my back is already fugged up. Gawdammit.
It was outside, in the mountains. So beautiful, a winery in the mountains, and what with the wind of the past couple days, the sky was SO clear. So amazingly beautiful.
.......
I've been planning a surprise/sexy night for my baby in my head for a couple weeks, and tonight is the night, unless we end up gaming/D&Ding all night. It really depends on how tired he is. We've had to shuffle it around the past couple weeks, and well, that just sucks! But I guess that's a part of life, adapting and going with the flow.
Speaking of flowing.
How many of you feel... floaty? Like life is happening around you, without asking you what you think or feel? Or as if maybe your actions don't feel as if they are your own, like you are on auto-pilot, watching yourself from outside?
To that I say this:
Take in that experience, learn form it, and move onward. Lingering on anything is just badbadbad.
What can you learn from that, you say? Well, for one thing, is that how you want your life to be lived? No.
People have the power to change their own brain chemistry. No pill or medication has the same power over yourself that *you* do.
Be proactive.
A little work now, saves a lot of hassle later. That can be applied to absolutely everything in life, and be extremely beneficial.
Ground yourself.
Get the fuck back into your body!
When we are properly grounded, we are in control. And that is when good things happen, BECAUSE grounded people MAKE things happen, and have the consciousness to say NO to bad things they do NOT want to happen. I personally visualize a little movie in my head when I'm feeling a little too floaty.
Be spontaneous.
Tis the spice of life. Push yourself to do new things, try new food, meet new people. Don't plan everything out! In Washington state, my stepmom used to say, "If we waited for good weather, we'd never go outside." Apply that to yourself--If you keep waiting for perfection, you're just gonna be stuck inside on a lot of fun days ^_^
Own it.
You. Own YOU. Own your successes and failures. Own them hard.
If you don't learn from your failures, you are destined to repeat them over. And over. And over.
Pointing fingers is no way to self-improve.
Own your successes.
You made them happen, you deserve credit from yourself, more than from anyone else, for doing so.
Don't live in fear.
Fear of growth, change; that's for sissies.
Practice selfless acts.
Ok, haha. Cheesey. Yes. Sounds like a bumper sticker? Perhaps
Do one selfless act a day, and you will reap the positive rewards that your body will replenish you with. There is actual data on how the body changes after doing something so positive. Body language/posture changes, facial expression changes, tone of voice drastically changes. Really quite amazing. Live a life void of regret; full of honor.
Simple - do not live a life that will lead you to have regrets later. Weigh your options soundly and smartly when they come up. My father used to say to me as a child, that maturity is simply making the right decision. There is honor in that, no?
Lastly...
Speak up.
If there is something unjust, bring it to light. If there is something beautiful, bring it to light. So many people live in blissful, self perpetuated ignorance. Denying that there is both beauty and impurity in the world is ignorance, and refusing to act on either is just sad. Explore both sides, be heard. Never go down without a fight, or at least without being heard.
This is all in the same vein as my post yesterday, about my mother. She cultivated these in me, my whole life. Sadly... They were never truly grown or harvested I guess, until after her death. It's amazing what you learn from someone from beyond the grave, or simply when they are just gone from your life.
She still rocks my soul on a daily basis.
I think she knew. She knew me.
She knew how sensitive I was as a child.
She knew I abhorred and feared change.
She helped me to grow a thick skin.
She helped me to require so very little from other people, but to expect so much at the same time.
Because I deserve it.
She deserved it.
She knew I was just like her.
I miss my mom.
Since her death last year, I've had numerous dreams about her. Very intense, REAL dreams.
Did you ever get those kinds of kisses from your mother, where she just... envelops you with her whole body, and kisses you on your face SO hard, over and over and over and over in the same spot? Mine did. A lot. Especially after I moved out, and would come home for visits. At that point, I was more into the receiving, I had missed it so much.
So last night's dream,.. She and I were just, talking. Almost every dream I have now with her in it, is just that. We talk about her death; how much we miss each other; how I am going to follow through in her footsteps career-wise. It's so comforting just... seeing her face. In my dreams, I become so happy and even more light hearted than I normally am in waking life, when I see her. At one point, she turned to me in the dream, took me in her arms for one of those tight hugs that only your mother can give you, and kissed the part of my cheek just like she used to when she was alive and happy. I burst into tears in the dream, yelling out "I miss you so much", and woke up whimpering, dryly half crying. Thankfully, I only half woke up, and Optimusmime was, while sleeping, my snuggle-comfort. I don't think he even realized it, which was good because we both woke up periodically throughout the night, and he needed his rest.
Being in the presence of your mother, you really feel that deep, unconditional, nurturing love. It's funny, because for so many years as a kid, I pushed that away, as kids do. But now, I would give anything for one last moment in her presence, yanno? To feel that motherly one last time; have more of a chance to say goodbye. Wishful thinking, I know.
It's still bizarre, thinking of her as "gone". She was very lively and lighthearted, yet firmly grounded in what she wanted from life, what she wanted to achieve. She was supposed to do so much more! She was supposed to know Darry! And be at our wedding. And be there when I give birth! Parts of me take joy in her having been present for so many peoples births as a labor and delivery nurse; parts of me ache because she will never see my own births, or her grandchildren. She would have loved Darry, she really would have.
Anyway. Brian Regan, tonight! I'm very excited. And Darry gets off early tonight, too. Double yay!
Since her death last year, I've had numerous dreams about her. Very intense, REAL dreams.
Did you ever get those kinds of kisses from your mother, where she just... envelops you with her whole body, and kisses you on your face SO hard, over and over and over and over in the same spot? Mine did. A lot. Especially after I moved out, and would come home for visits. At that point, I was more into the receiving, I had missed it so much.
So last night's dream,.. She and I were just, talking. Almost every dream I have now with her in it, is just that. We talk about her death; how much we miss each other; how I am going to follow through in her footsteps career-wise. It's so comforting just... seeing her face. In my dreams, I become so happy and even more light hearted than I normally am in waking life, when I see her. At one point, she turned to me in the dream, took me in her arms for one of those tight hugs that only your mother can give you, and kissed the part of my cheek just like she used to when she was alive and happy. I burst into tears in the dream, yelling out "I miss you so much", and woke up whimpering, dryly half crying. Thankfully, I only half woke up, and Optimusmime was, while sleeping, my snuggle-comfort. I don't think he even realized it, which was good because we both woke up periodically throughout the night, and he needed his rest.
Being in the presence of your mother, you really feel that deep, unconditional, nurturing love. It's funny, because for so many years as a kid, I pushed that away, as kids do. But now, I would give anything for one last moment in her presence, yanno? To feel that motherly one last time; have more of a chance to say goodbye. Wishful thinking, I know.
It's still bizarre, thinking of her as "gone". She was very lively and lighthearted, yet firmly grounded in what she wanted from life, what she wanted to achieve. She was supposed to do so much more! She was supposed to know Darry! And be at our wedding. And be there when I give birth! Parts of me take joy in her having been present for so many peoples births as a labor and delivery nurse; parts of me ache because she will never see my own births, or her grandchildren. She would have loved Darry, she really would have.
Anyway. Brian Regan, tonight! I'm very excited. And Darry gets off early tonight, too. Double yay!
So, tonight, Optimusmime, Wyldechylde, and Phoenixgirl and I all met up and had dinner together. How awesome is that? A nice cool down after a long day, for both Op, and I.
So at dinner tonight, we talk about Op's ex who is moving out of state soon -- she's his best and oldest friend, so it's particularly hard for him. I can really sympathize. It's hard when friends move away, and vice versa. Plus, they hadn't lived near each other for a number of years, so the past months since October have been special for the both of them, to have that old friend nearby.
In the past couple of weeks, she and I have become closer, and I too am feeling more and more sad for her leaving the area. It's hard, my heart really goes out to them. He's in the room nearby right now, talking with her on the phone, and hearing the genuine care and interest in his voice for her, makes me wish we had more friends that he felt that way about. More of a network I guess.
It's nice to meet people like Wylde and Phoenix to broaden that network
Tomorrow, I'm having a date with my brother, and I'm excited. A nice roadtrip up the coast, then Op, my brother and I go to see Brian Regan tomorrow night. He is sooo funny, I am sooo excited. Not a day goes by that we do not quote him
A nice cool down after a long day, for both Op, and I. So at dinner tonight, we talk about Op's ex who is moving out of state soon -- she's his best and oldest friend, so it's particularly hard for him. I can really sympathize. It's hard when friends move away, and vice versa. Plus, they hadn't lived near each other for a number of years, so the past months since October have been special for the both of them, to have that old friend nearby.
In the past couple of weeks, she and I have become closer, and I too am feeling more and more sad for her leaving the area. It's hard, my heart really goes out to them. He's in the room nearby right now, talking with her on the phone, and hearing the genuine care and interest in his voice for her, makes me wish we had more friends that he felt that way about. More of a network I guess.
It's nice to meet people like Wylde and Phoenix to broaden that network
Tomorrow, I'm having a date with my brother, and I'm excited. A nice roadtrip up the coast, then Op, my brother and I go to see Brian Regan tomorrow night. He is sooo funny, I am sooo excited. Not a day goes by that we do not quote him
Mini blog post.
http://www.shockabilly.com/videos/247_Sylvester_Stallone_Porno_Clip.php
HA HA HA AAAH HAHAHAHA.
http://www.shockabilly.com/videos/247_Sylvester_Stallone_Porno_Clip.php
HA HA HA AAAH HAHAHAHA.
The other day, a friend posted this on her myspace, and I got all warm and happy-weepy from the energy of the words. It's part of Kahlil Gibran's "The Prophet", a book I adore.
I haven't read the book recently, and this part floored me, as if I was reading it for the first time.
I haven't read the book recently, and this part floored me, as if I was reading it for the first time.
When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
Illuminate yourself with your love; whether it be for yourself, your family, your genitals, or big huge titties.
Love freely.
Honest, healthy love is a work in progress; and should be something we all strive for while happily chained to our earthly shackles. Make the best of your love and the time you have it.
Have a happy week
This week I resume normal life, back from the roadtrip Darry and I took last week to Washington.
I was hesitant at first, thinking that maybe Darry wouldn't feel as at home on the road as I do, but it actually went very well. He met my dad for the first time, we had a chance to get out to the country, and see Seattle as well.
What I didn't expect to happen, was just how much it increased our connection to each other, at least for me anyhow. We had a chance to let others entertain us, as we usually host/entertain our friends. Oh, and btw, Seattle has great sex mojo or something. It fucking blew my mind the night we made some of the most passionate sex I have ever had. Maybe it was the slow drizzle of the rain outside, maybe it was watching the downtown lights at night, maybe it was the twin bed we shared momentarily before sleep.
Either way, fucking unf. Wow.
It was awesome to find that sweetness in our love again, I felt like I was 15, all a giggle and whatnot whenever we were near each other. Even our sex felt more connected than it has in a long, long time. You know, you get so caught up in the "fuck now, forget foreplay, I'm a porn star" sex acts. Which I love, don't get me wrong! ;D But damn, it's so fucking hot when you have that raw, sensual, passionate love making with your partner.
In fact, it so increased my energy toward him, that I got up out of bed this morning after a night of almost no sleep, and went to the sandwich place around the corner to get him his favorite breakfast sandwich to eat this morning before his first day at a new job, while he was busy getting ready for work. I figured he was going to have a long day ahead of him, so why not get him something yummy to start his day with? Plus, after all our re-focusing on our relationship this weekend, it just really opens me up so much, and my desires to do little things like that just skyrocket. People who put their effort into me really get my efforts put back into them ;D
We actually had breakfast at the table, what a feat! ;D
I love surprising him with little things like that.
Especially after such an awesome trip!
I feel really rejuvenated right now for him, and us as a couple.
He came to me and said he wants to push our intimacy to the next step, and I really admire that a lot.
He has really stepped up to the bat in that one, and that takes strength, and essentially there is no wrong that will come of that. We've decided to increase our porn-watching time together and decrease watching it alone, taking some adventures out of our home (ie stripclubs and the like).
Before, I was uncomfortable because well, to be honest,.. I felt like while he and I are so sexually and lovingly connected, that his sexual appetite was never being met or fulfilled by me. Call me crazy, but my little heart just can't take that feeling! It hurt me so much that we had very nasty fights from time to time about it,.. but thankfully, now we are both making conscious choices to build together a stronger more powerful intimate relationship.
I really have to give him a lot of credit for the growth he's gone through in the past week. I feel like this has really opened up a lot for us, and a lot of my previous frustrations and problems overall relating to that just melting away because of his opening up to me, and putting that ahead of himself. It's been an amazing few days ;D It's like he found his love-light switch and turned it on, full blast. I feel very close to him right now because of that.
Anyway...
I'm sitting here, trying to concentrate on this stoopid new printer I am installing on our computers, and it's bugging the hell out of me. Thank you, Blog, for being there for me when I want to pontificate. ;D I'm off now, time to talk to this person Ive been on hold for for what seems like forever
I was hesitant at first, thinking that maybe Darry wouldn't feel as at home on the road as I do, but it actually went very well. He met my dad for the first time, we had a chance to get out to the country, and see Seattle as well.
What I didn't expect to happen, was just how much it increased our connection to each other, at least for me anyhow. We had a chance to let others entertain us, as we usually host/entertain our friends. Oh, and btw, Seattle has great sex mojo or something. It fucking blew my mind the night we made some of the most passionate sex I have ever had. Maybe it was the slow drizzle of the rain outside, maybe it was watching the downtown lights at night, maybe it was the twin bed we shared momentarily before sleep.
Either way, fucking unf. Wow.
It was awesome to find that sweetness in our love again, I felt like I was 15, all a giggle and whatnot whenever we were near each other. Even our sex felt more connected than it has in a long, long time. You know, you get so caught up in the "fuck now, forget foreplay, I'm a porn star" sex acts. Which I love, don't get me wrong! ;D But damn, it's so fucking hot when you have that raw, sensual, passionate love making with your partner.
In fact, it so increased my energy toward him, that I got up out of bed this morning after a night of almost no sleep, and went to the sandwich place around the corner to get him his favorite breakfast sandwich to eat this morning before his first day at a new job, while he was busy getting ready for work. I figured he was going to have a long day ahead of him, so why not get him something yummy to start his day with? Plus, after all our re-focusing on our relationship this weekend, it just really opens me up so much, and my desires to do little things like that just skyrocket. People who put their effort into me really get my efforts put back into them ;D
We actually had breakfast at the table, what a feat! ;DI love surprising him with little things like that.
Especially after such an awesome trip!
I feel really rejuvenated right now for him, and us as a couple.
He came to me and said he wants to push our intimacy to the next step, and I really admire that a lot.
He has really stepped up to the bat in that one, and that takes strength, and essentially there is no wrong that will come of that. We've decided to increase our porn-watching time together and decrease watching it alone, taking some adventures out of our home (ie stripclubs and the like).
Before, I was uncomfortable because well, to be honest,.. I felt like while he and I are so sexually and lovingly connected, that his sexual appetite was never being met or fulfilled by me. Call me crazy, but my little heart just can't take that feeling! It hurt me so much that we had very nasty fights from time to time about it,.. but thankfully, now we are both making conscious choices to build together a stronger more powerful intimate relationship.
I really have to give him a lot of credit for the growth he's gone through in the past week. I feel like this has really opened up a lot for us, and a lot of my previous frustrations and problems overall relating to that just melting away because of his opening up to me, and putting that ahead of himself. It's been an amazing few days ;D It's like he found his love-light switch and turned it on, full blast. I feel very close to him right now because of that.
Anyway...
I'm sitting here, trying to concentrate on this stoopid new printer I am installing on our computers, and it's bugging the hell out of me. Thank you, Blog, for being there for me when I want to pontificate. ;D I'm off now, time to talk to this person Ive been on hold for for what seems like forever
