Disclaimer: I don't intend the following blog entry to be self-loving or to come off as conceited. I simply want to give you a glimpse into my teaching life and what means he most to me as a teacher and as a man.

As some of you know, I am the honors society adviser at my school. I've been doing this for 10 of my 12 years of teaching. One of the best part...well, THE best part, is that I get to see my former 7th graders on a regular basis (this is just for 8th graders). This was my second favorite group of students I've ever had, and I've been a ball of emotions as of late.

Last week was the induction ceremony where the students officially become members. It's a sort of mini-graduation. The students, and me, get really dressed up and it's just a really nice evening of recognition. Near the end of the ceremony, I gave a mild to completely rambling speech about how much I loved this group of students and how much I'm going to miss them. I got completely choked up. Little did I know it was just getting started, choking up-wise...as a teacher who cares about his students to the nth degree it's always so hard to see my students move on, some never to be seen again. I will do it for the twelfth time this year, and it's only gotten more difficult.

Immediately after, I had a line of at least 45 students who wanted their picture with me. It felt like the paparazzi was there, but in such a glorious way. Numerous parents came up to me, thanking me for all I've done, to tell me what an influence I've had on/inspiration to their son or daughter I've been, how I'm their son or daughter's favorite teacher, how they hear my name in their house all the time. One girl's mom came up to me and thanked me for being there for her daughter when she needed someone, both this year and last. She wine ton to say that everyone has that one teacher he/she remembers forever and that I will be that one teacher for her daughter. That's when I got really choked up. A girl's dad came up to me with tears in his eyes, telling me how much I inspired his daughter to be a better person and writer. I felt practically high from all of these unbelievably sincere and nice compliments. The evening was completely overwhelming in the best way possible. Little did I know there would be tributes, awesome comments, and pictures all over Facebook,Twiiter, and Instagram. That overwhelmed me even more.

I don't care how much money I get paid or if they quadruple my salary. It's seeing my students happy and successful and hearing that I have made an impact, have influenced, have inspired, that means more to me than anything.

And to completely change topics, here is my new iPhone case.



I hope everyone is doing well.

The school year is certainly winding down (my last day with students is June 5) and with it has come the annual feeling of wistfulness. I plan on writing more about this when the school year is officially complete. I adore my students this year. I'm already starting to miss them.

On the other hand, I certainly can't wait to get away from many of my coworkers. They're driving me mad. I can't handle laziness. I can't handle apathy. I can't handle teachers who aren't in it 100% for the kids. I can't handle being condescended to or being treated as though I'm a servant. To make matters worse, our contract negotiations are fucked and the dreaded S word has reared its ugly head. I hope it doesn't get to that point. That would be a colossal disaster.

Back to good news. For those of you who may not know, I am the yearbook adviser at my school. Unlike high school, it's not a class in middle school. We can only meet once a week for an hour, so I end up doing a majority of the work. I love it, though! The yearbooks arrived yesterday, and I'm so excited! It turned out awesome! I showed a few students yesterday, the true test, and they agreed it's awesome! Here is the cover.

And in case you forgot what I look like, here's my school picture.

I also have the honor society induction ceremony Wednesday night. I love this evening. This will be my 10th, and it never gets old. I really love the 8th graders this year, and I am going to miss them terribly.

I haven't consciously listened to The Cure for a good two or three years. I did this morning, though. Here are two songs I just adore.

"Lovesong"


And this is for a certain someone who shall remain nameless.
"Pictures of You"


I hope everyone is doing well.

If you haven't had the esteemed privilege to attend a middle school/junior high recently and have been dying to know what goes on at one, you're in luck. Last night, I was in charge of the dance at my school. Here are some musings.

Many kids put a genuine effort into looking nice. Others wear dirty t-shirts and sweatpants. This makes for an interesting combination. At one point, emergency air freshener had to be procured from my classroom to defunk the photo booth and the spectacular haze of adolescent-boy mustiness. Another spectacular haze was the Axe that permeated the air. Some of them must go through a can of that per day. We had to ban that shit in the hallways at school, it got so bad.

Music-wise, there's not a lot of variety, sticking mostly to rap and R & B. I like a lot of it, but some variety would be nice. Because, you know, the music is totally for me at these. The DJ played "Nig*as in Paris." I love that song, but the editing wasn't very good, and I'd be shocked if the school didn't get calls on Monday. Like the kids don't say worse in the hallways. Unfortunately, "Baby Got Back" did not make an appearance (*crestfallen*) as they did play it at my dance last year. I love that song, but it makes me feel a little awkward to listen to it in the presence of middle schoolers. One of my students asked me to come to her group of friends and twerk with them. There were no slow songs. Those simply aren't played anymore. That's a shame, because it's so cute to see them dance awkwardly.

To finish this dispatch, I will leave you with a list. Each middle school dance I've chaperoned, which is quite a few, contains the following:

*at least three crying girls, usually walking/sprinting to or from the bathroom
*at least two separate boys who seem to be alone, wandering aimlessly
*no fewer than three breakdancers
*at least one Michael Jackson impersonator, at least dancing-wise. Last night's dance had an actual one, complete with sparkly glove, sunglasses, hat, and jacket. Yes, one of the students. WIN!
*kids chasing each other around the gym like squirrels in a park. These are often kids who refuse to run during GYM class.
*kids who essentially pay $5 to sit in the cafeteria, eat candy, drink soda, and maybe talk to friends.
*a boy or two or three being pushed by his friends to go talk to a girl.

Thanks for reading. I'll leave you with something I discovered today that I LOVE! If you understand why it's so clever and hilarious, I love you!

Alas, my spring break has come to an end. Quite an interesting week, to say the least...Though I've enjoyed my time off, making art, seeing friends, spending time with family, sort-of destressing, I'm looking forward to going back to school. I've missed my students, teaching, and I've had far too much time to devote to my thoughts. That's usually not a good thing.


More art, from yesterday.


And musics for your enjoyment.

The Mercy Seat - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds


Temptation - New Order


Like Spinning Plates - Radiohead

I went on a bit of an art bender today in an attempt to calm my mind. Here are some of the results.

I made this one for a friend.


Meh.





I'm considering giving this one away to a friend, though I really like it. It's a little three-dimensional, but you can't tell.


I received a letter, very unexpectedly, from a friend last night right before we parted ways. We've been friends for about two years and though I knew I meant a lot to her and vice versa, the things in that letter just blew me away. It completely made my night, and I'm glad I read it alone because it made me cry. A few of my favorite lines include, "I feel like you understand me, and I can't say that about anyone else." "I am so grateful you allow me to be part of your life." (Holy fuck, it's really the other way around) "At least I know with you here, I am not alone. Thank you with all my heart for making me feel that way." When someone means a lot to you, it's vital to tell him/her so. You never know just how much it's going to mean to that person. Spread the love around. And it's much better when it's handwritten, though e-mails and messages are good to.

I've been listening to this song a lot lately. "No Widows" by The Antlers

Besides writing, making art is something I want to do more of. It helps to calm my racing, worrying, often fucked mind. Here are two things I made - one last night and one just now. I'd love to know what you think.





I'm a ball of emotions right now. I'm happy. I'm yearning. I'm worried. I'm nervous. I'm creative.

Finally in an extended good mood (six days and counting), dare I say genuinely happy, I am doing my best to quell the thoughts about what could go wrong next that always attempt to sabotage my good moods, which are often few and far between./ Though in a good mood, I'm feeling a bit wistful, minus the melancholia./ The weather, along with someone who shall remain a mystery, has made me feel alive and good about myself - more so than I have in quite some time./ My mind races with thought, barely slowing down to give myself a chance to catch up. There's no stopping it./ Words are so powerful. I want to share more of mine.

Here is some music I would like to share with you.

Kings of Convenience. Perfect wistful music.


I couldn't pick just one Massive Attack song, so I'm going with two.





The xx...more perfect wistful music.


Treat each other well.

The only thing keeping me sane at school right now is my students, and I teach 7th grade! Many people run at the thought of being with 12 and 13 year old all day, but they are my kids. What I can't handle is the adults with whom I work. I can barely ven speak to some of them because they are so rude and irresponsbile and ignorant and condescending and blah blah blah. I have an arch nemesis at school who I often refer to as my blond Newman, aka Heels Barbie. I simply cannot stand this woman. We have gotten into many arguments, including a nasty one a couple weeks ago. I always try to be the bigger person even in the face of her condescension and just plain rudeness, but I'm done with that. I will be civil, but I will not be nice. I have a visceral reaction to this specimen. They worst thing is, she makes her students cry all the time. What kind of a teacher does that? She gets many of my students because she teaches 8th grade. I am VERY protective of my students, and I get pissed and hurt when I find out she is making them cry for stupid shit. No teacher should ever do this. I did finally come to the realization that we will never get along, and that was pretty freeing.

Enough of that. My students are working on short stories right now, and they are turning out awesome! I am amazed by the creativity my kids can show when it is cultivated and allowed to shine through rather than being surpressed. As cheesy as it may sound, my students inspire me. My students this year are just unbelievably awesome. They're so nice and creative and weird and funny. A group of students started a book club on their own. I'm moving kids who started the year off in the "Hate to read" category to the "Like to read" and "Love to read" categories. That's always one of my main goals at the beginning of the year.I am going to miss them so much when summer comes. I spend an hour and a half a day with them, five times a week, so I get to know them pretty well. I also get attached to many of them, and it's hard when they leave at the end of the year.

I found out today that one of my favorite students ever was named valedictorian of her graduating class. I was so proud!!

Feeling old moment of the day: I got a Facebook friend request from a student I had my first year of teaching. She's 25 now.

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother any more. I am continually hurt by others and keep allowing it to happen. No, it's not them hurting me. It's me allowing it to happen. I care too much. Always. Always. If only I could keep my emotions in check. i feel like an adolescent in regards to my emotions at times. I keep trying, though, in hopes that I'll find those gems of human beings. I know they're out there. I keep trying to keep the following Twain quote in mind, "Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."

Sorry for such negativity. I just had to vent.

I'd be the first to admit I am not the most spontaneous person in the world. I like to meticulously plan things out. I like to know what I'm facing. I don't care for surprises. However, lately I've really felt like saying fuck it and doing more things out of character. What that means...I'm not so sure. It's not as though I'm going to turn into a raving asshole or anything like that. I just want to take more chances. I'm too careful. Too worried about making a mistake. Way too fucking worried about what other people think. Way too worried.