Today is the 14th anniversary of my Mothers death, and it is also my Godsons 13th Birthday, I have often pondered this, does fate have a sense of humor or is there suppose to be balance.
I miss her every day, I always think about her and I wonder if she would be proud of the person that I have become.
Would she be happy with the decisions I have made, would she like the people I call my friends, would she have liked any of the girls I have dated.
I wish I could talk to her again, about anything, books, food, music, nothing. Would she laugh at the strange habits that I got from her, like when you have someone coming around to clean something for you you clean it before they get there.
Now for the hard part of the day. Time to ring my godson and be happy with him for his Birthday and then I have to call my Dad and my Sister.
I miss her every day, I always think about her and I wonder if she would be proud of the person that I have become.
Would she be happy with the decisions I have made, would she like the people I call my friends, would she have liked any of the girls I have dated.
I wish I could talk to her again, about anything, books, food, music, nothing. Would she laugh at the strange habits that I got from her, like when you have someone coming around to clean something for you you clean it before they get there.
Now for the hard part of the day. Time to ring my godson and be happy with him for his Birthday and then I have to call my Dad and my Sister.
The weekend has landed........ect ect
I am still feeling sick and I am feeling unmotivated to do anything, I haven't even left my bedroom this morning for all I know the day maybe beautiful.
I probably should go and visit my friend Helen, she sent me a bunch of messages asking me to come over and meet some of her friends, to start with she was very well mannered with the word please in there somewhere, her last message was get the fuck over here now, she knows how to make me laugh.
A pox on being sick.
I am still feeling sick and I am feeling unmotivated to do anything, I haven't even left my bedroom this morning for all I know the day maybe beautiful.
I probably should go and visit my friend Helen, she sent me a bunch of messages asking me to come over and meet some of her friends, to start with she was very well mannered with the word please in there somewhere, her last message was get the fuck over here now, she knows how to make me laugh.
A pox on being sick.
I hate being sick, especially on my days off......
I am feeling better than yesterday however, I wouldn't say that I was at deaths door but I certainly think that I had stumbled into his neighbourhood, but then again I am a sook when I am sick.
I have posted for over a month, I saw some great music over the easter break including Seasick Steve, John Fogerty, The Pogues, the Specials to name but a few.
My Cousin visited from New Zealand, I have only seen him once in the last 25 years as he grew up in Canada and only recently moved back to NZ, we drank way to much.
Work has been busy and just lately about 70% of the people I have been dealing with have been assholes, I hope that changes soon.
Thats about it from now, hopefully I wont take as long to post again.
I am feeling better than yesterday however, I wouldn't say that I was at deaths door but I certainly think that I had stumbled into his neighbourhood, but then again I am a sook when I am sick.
I have posted for over a month, I saw some great music over the easter break including Seasick Steve, John Fogerty, The Pogues, the Specials to name but a few.
My Cousin visited from New Zealand, I have only seen him once in the last 25 years as he grew up in Canada and only recently moved back to NZ, we drank way to much.
Work has been busy and just lately about 70% of the people I have been dealing with have been assholes, I hope that changes soon.
Thats about it from now, hopefully I wont take as long to post again.
I stand halfway up a mountain and I look at the journey of my life revealed below me.
The winds of time push against my consciousness, in it I can taste my youth. I feel the chill and the warmth of the past.
I cannot see the bottom from where I started and I cannot see the top where it will end.
I have changed in the journey and I will continue to do so, I believe that at the core I am basically the same....... But am I?
I just need to keep climbing, to see how far I can get, to evolve into whatever it is I am suppose to be.
It would be easier with ropes and a compass, but then I would not be who I am at this moment.
The winds of time push against my consciousness, in it I can taste my youth. I feel the chill and the warmth of the past.
I cannot see the bottom from where I started and I cannot see the top where it will end.
I have changed in the journey and I will continue to do so, I believe that at the core I am basically the same....... But am I?
I just need to keep climbing, to see how far I can get, to evolve into whatever it is I am suppose to be.
It would be easier with ropes and a compass, but then I would not be who I am at this moment.
Well I have 2 days off and then my last 2 shifts before I go on holiday, I hope that these last few days are kind to me.
Next week, Byron Bay for Blues and Roots, I love this festival and I have been for the last 4 years and camping on site is amazing, one year I woke up to Crowded House doing there sound check, it's an awesome feeling.
Till next we meet.........
Next week, Byron Bay for Blues and Roots, I love this festival and I have been for the last 4 years and camping on site is amazing, one year I woke up to Crowded House doing there sound check, it's an awesome feeling.
Till next we meet.........
...... and another week crumbles to dust.
It draws out its last weazy breath, the rattle in the throat is prolonged and the silence that follows holds on for two more beats longer than it should.
Time picks itself up and drags its carcass closer to the end of another year.
I remember being kid, in fact I remember a lot of things, but the rules of time where different then, years lasted a life time and every day was its own little adventure.
People say they would love to do it all again if they knew what they did now.
Fuck that, i would love to go back so I could learn it all again. I have made mistakes like every one, maybe even more than every one, probably I would make them again...... Probably I would make more. But mistakes make us human, they make us...... Us.
Regardless another week begins to draw the curtains closed, another week done working for the man.
I have the weekend off at least, it Saint Paddys day tomorrow and you know what they say every ones Irish on Saint Paddys day, thats a nice philosophy and I love there folk music.
Sleep beckons........ till next time.
It draws out its last weazy breath, the rattle in the throat is prolonged and the silence that follows holds on for two more beats longer than it should.
Time picks itself up and drags its carcass closer to the end of another year.
I remember being kid, in fact I remember a lot of things, but the rules of time where different then, years lasted a life time and every day was its own little adventure.
People say they would love to do it all again if they knew what they did now.
Fuck that, i would love to go back so I could learn it all again. I have made mistakes like every one, maybe even more than every one, probably I would make them again...... Probably I would make more. But mistakes make us human, they make us...... Us.
Regardless another week begins to draw the curtains closed, another week done working for the man.
I have the weekend off at least, it Saint Paddys day tomorrow and you know what they say every ones Irish on Saint Paddys day, thats a nice philosophy and I love there folk music.
Sleep beckons........ till next time.
So I got bitten by a spider at work Today.
No gnarly super powers yet, I can't walk up walls or shoot webbing from my hands.
So far the only alterations are a slightly swollen hand, the inability to make a fist and less accurate typing.
Oh that and the unnatural fear that perhaps that spider was poisonous and if I go to sleep I am not going to wake up again.
I need a job at a scientific research building at least then if I get bitten by something I may get something for it.
No gnarly super powers yet, I can't walk up walls or shoot webbing from my hands.
So far the only alterations are a slightly swollen hand, the inability to make a fist and less accurate typing.
Oh that and the unnatural fear that perhaps that spider was poisonous and if I go to sleep I am not going to wake up again.
I need a job at a scientific research building at least then if I get bitten by something I may get something for it.
Another quiet Friday night in....... I have to work over the weekend and I have to tell you this work thing is really getting in the way of my life.
But thats the price you got to pay to play.
Hopefully I have a dreamless night, my dreams have been pretty hectic of late, mostly I don't remember them I just wake up feeling tired and ...... And what? I don't really know how to explain.
I guess there is just a lot going on with me in the waking hours which is manifesting itself in my dreamscapes.
But thats the price you got to pay to play.
Hopefully I have a dreamless night, my dreams have been pretty hectic of late, mostly I don't remember them I just wake up feeling tired and ...... And what? I don't really know how to explain.
I guess there is just a lot going on with me in the waking hours which is manifesting itself in my dreamscapes.
Dear Dreams,
Please stop tormenting me with future that will never be, all these regrets of past actions or lack there of is already apparent to me, I don't need my sleeping mind to make comments because all it is doing is making me tired.
Thank you for your understanding.
Please stop tormenting me with future that will never be, all these regrets of past actions or lack there of is already apparent to me, I don't need my sleeping mind to make comments because all it is doing is making me tired.
Thank you for your understanding.
