Okay Duke Nukem Forever

Duke Nukem 3D gets recounted ala James Bond style opening before you start

Yes, that's everything you remember.

Yes, especially the strippers.

How many game companies made this game? Five.

The graphics are Unreal Engine so you know it's decent.

You start off taking a piss.

Yes, you start off taking a piss in a fps.

You are going to get a lot of achievements really quick in this game.

The basic premise of the game is that Duke is an asskicker. And everyone else is idiotic. Got it.

First boss is the last boss of 3D. Okay.

Where are the ammo packs?

Found them.

Holy shit this hard.

Take out the Blimp.

GOOOAAALLLL

There's a lot of fps jokes going on here. By that I mean first person sight gags.

They took out health packs? Maybe that's for multiplayer.

The first real challenge is: Pinball.

Don't laugh, the EGO boosts are the most important parts of the game.

For the most part, the the amount of enemies you face is limited.

That said, those teleporters and pigcops really get in your face and break your head.

Remember, ego boosts are really important.

Remember Megaman X, those heart boosts? Think those. On Insane difficulty, it's going to be essential you get the ego boosts.

God damn it, I lost my gold gun. There goes that achievement. Now I have to play again.

So let me get this straight. Joe Mad is drawing Spiderman. Scott Lobdell works at DC Comics under Bob Harras. I'm playing Duke Nukem. Did Guns and Roses break up again? Cause it's the nineties again.

As enjoyable as this is, the most fun thing to do has been to draw penises on whiteboards/autographs.

Heads up, the shotgun is the best gun early on. But you need to be close. The only other thing that's better is steroids and beer.

Yes, steroids and beer offers the best way to play.

Okay, It's been a few hours, I'm five levels in that's it for now.