Women love confident guys. Women love guys who can make them laugh. Being the cutest guy in the room isn't always going to impress people. A charming personality goes a long way.
For years I relied heavily on my personality and sense of humor. I've never been a great looking guy, but I have been fortunate to have met and dated some very beautiful women. Maybe they just liked my cooking.
Argentina hasn't been so good to me and I struggle to understand why. The women here are stunningly beautiful (although slightly more crazy than what I'm used to in the US). They game playing is even more complicated than I'm used to and to be quite honest I'm really not into that whole thing at all. I admit I am overweight and have been trying successfully to work on that problem. In the last year I have lost about 20 lbs - 8 kilos or so. I still need to lose more to get to where I want, but it'll happen in time. I'm not going to stress over that.
What bothers me the most though is not being able to make people laugh. I see something funny or have a thought in my head and because of the language barrier I can't express myself. Don't get me wrong I'm getting pretty good with basic conversational Spanish it's just that the delivery when you are trying to tell a joke is important and needs to be quick and witty. Which is much harder when you have to stop in the middle of the sentence and think about the word you mean to say or what is the right verb tense. It's really fucked with my confidence.
It would be easy to say take a course in Spanish. I have been. I started with Pimsler, an audio course that taught basic Spanish. It was nearly useless in Argentina where the language that is actually spoken is far more colorful and full of slang. I switched to Rosetta Stone Latina American version and it was too much like a child's game for me and I couldn't work with it. I found a different program called Bueno, entonces.. which was specifically Argentinian Spanish. It was fun, fast, and easy to use. It's only downfall is that it only teaches you enough to get up to speed. Not the stuff you'll really need to be fluent. Verbs are taught in the present tense and in Spanish the verbs are incredibly complicated.
I also listen to a ton of music in Spanish. Mala Rodriguez, Damas Gratis, Soledad Villamil, Bomba Stereo, Sistema Solar, plus tons of tango music. I learn the words and sing along to work on my pronunciation.
I have watched nearly every Argentinian film I could find. And many of them have been really good. It's also a great way to learn about the history and culture of the country where I am living.
My Facebook page, my computer language, my phone, my mp3 player are all in Spanish. I read every billboard I pass to and from work.
Most people take years to learn a language. I'm trying to get it done in half the time. I know where my weaknesses are. I don't have a very good grasp of the grammar yet, I need to work on my verb tenses more, and, of course, expand my vocabulary. And I think the majority of people learn a language before
they move to another country. I have never been known to take the easy road.
Sure it might be easier to learn if I took a course with an actual teacher, instead of trying to teach myself, but I have never been comfortable with tests and grades and all that. Trust me, my test is every day in the street, when I take a taxi, when I eat in a restaurant, when I try to hit on a girl. I don't need a letter grade to tell me how I'm doing.
And my friends here that speak English get upset with me when I am with them. They say I don't speak enough Spanish when I talk to them. I have tried explaining that I need to rest my brain once in a while. That it actually hurts, real physical pain to think in Spanish all the time. I don't think that they went through the same thing when they were learning English because they took it in school for one part of the day and the rest was spent speaking in their native tongue. I can't escape Spanish here.
Anyway, the point of this all is that I'm very frustrated that I can't make people laugh like I used to and it's messing with my head. And my sex life.
For years I relied heavily on my personality and sense of humor. I've never been a great looking guy, but I have been fortunate to have met and dated some very beautiful women. Maybe they just liked my cooking.
Argentina hasn't been so good to me and I struggle to understand why. The women here are stunningly beautiful (although slightly more crazy than what I'm used to in the US). They game playing is even more complicated than I'm used to and to be quite honest I'm really not into that whole thing at all. I admit I am overweight and have been trying successfully to work on that problem. In the last year I have lost about 20 lbs - 8 kilos or so. I still need to lose more to get to where I want, but it'll happen in time. I'm not going to stress over that.
What bothers me the most though is not being able to make people laugh. I see something funny or have a thought in my head and because of the language barrier I can't express myself. Don't get me wrong I'm getting pretty good with basic conversational Spanish it's just that the delivery when you are trying to tell a joke is important and needs to be quick and witty. Which is much harder when you have to stop in the middle of the sentence and think about the word you mean to say or what is the right verb tense. It's really fucked with my confidence.
It would be easy to say take a course in Spanish. I have been. I started with Pimsler, an audio course that taught basic Spanish. It was nearly useless in Argentina where the language that is actually spoken is far more colorful and full of slang. I switched to Rosetta Stone Latina American version and it was too much like a child's game for me and I couldn't work with it. I found a different program called Bueno, entonces.. which was specifically Argentinian Spanish. It was fun, fast, and easy to use. It's only downfall is that it only teaches you enough to get up to speed. Not the stuff you'll really need to be fluent. Verbs are taught in the present tense and in Spanish the verbs are incredibly complicated.
I also listen to a ton of music in Spanish. Mala Rodriguez, Damas Gratis, Soledad Villamil, Bomba Stereo, Sistema Solar, plus tons of tango music. I learn the words and sing along to work on my pronunciation.
I have watched nearly every Argentinian film I could find. And many of them have been really good. It's also a great way to learn about the history and culture of the country where I am living.
My Facebook page, my computer language, my phone, my mp3 player are all in Spanish. I read every billboard I pass to and from work.
Most people take years to learn a language. I'm trying to get it done in half the time. I know where my weaknesses are. I don't have a very good grasp of the grammar yet, I need to work on my verb tenses more, and, of course, expand my vocabulary. And I think the majority of people learn a language before
they move to another country. I have never been known to take the easy road.
Sure it might be easier to learn if I took a course with an actual teacher, instead of trying to teach myself, but I have never been comfortable with tests and grades and all that. Trust me, my test is every day in the street, when I take a taxi, when I eat in a restaurant, when I try to hit on a girl. I don't need a letter grade to tell me how I'm doing.
And my friends here that speak English get upset with me when I am with them. They say I don't speak enough Spanish when I talk to them. I have tried explaining that I need to rest my brain once in a while. That it actually hurts, real physical pain to think in Spanish all the time. I don't think that they went through the same thing when they were learning English because they took it in school for one part of the day and the rest was spent speaking in their native tongue. I can't escape Spanish here.
Anyway, the point of this all is that I'm very frustrated that I can't make people laugh like I used to and it's messing with my head. And my sex life.
Some things translate really well from Spanish to English. Here in Argentina they say, "Felices fiestas!" for Happy Holidays. But literally it means, "Happy Parties!" And these folks know how to party.
Fuck yeah.
Fuck yeah.
Off to Montevideo, Uruguay for a relaxing weekend with Paprika, her boyfriend, and I'm told I'll get to meet Merlina as well. Should be a good time. I've been looking forward to this trip for quite some time now.
Photos when I get back.
Also, started a new job this week. Better pay and better hours. The girl I'm replacing is the head chef. So, I'll be taking over her duties. They have also asked me to update their menu. Which is something I'm excited about. It's an opportunity that was promised to me by my last boss as well, but he had a knack for shooting down pretty much any idea we came up with, until a week later when that same idea was his and he thought of it. Not once giving us any credit. This seems like it will be a good fit for a while.
Photos when I get back.
Also, started a new job this week. Better pay and better hours. The girl I'm replacing is the head chef. So, I'll be taking over her duties. They have also asked me to update their menu. Which is something I'm excited about. It's an opportunity that was promised to me by my last boss as well, but he had a knack for shooting down pretty much any idea we came up with, until a week later when that same idea was his and he thought of it. Not once giving us any credit. This seems like it will be a good fit for a while.
Everyone wants an Argentina.
A place where the slate is wiped clean.
But the truth is Argentina is just Argentina.
No matter where we go we take ourselves
and our damage with us.
So is home the place we run to
or is it the place we run from?
A way to hide out in places where we're accepted,
unconditionally.
Places that feel more like home to us.
Because we can finally be who we are.
-Dexter
============================
I never found the right words to describe why I left... until now. You either understand, or you never will.
A place where the slate is wiped clean.
But the truth is Argentina is just Argentina.
No matter where we go we take ourselves
and our damage with us.
So is home the place we run to
or is it the place we run from?
A way to hide out in places where we're accepted,
unconditionally.
Places that feel more like home to us.
Because we can finally be who we are.
-Dexter
============================
I never found the right words to describe why I left... until now. You either understand, or you never will.
After 8 months of living in Buenos Aires I finally have my own apartment. When I arrived I stayed with Prussia for two months and that was a huge help getting my feet on the ground. For the next six months I rented a room in the house of a retired woman whose kids had moved out. She was super annoying and the price of the rent went up every month. It got to the point where I had to move or she would have been collecting more than I was making.
Anyway, I have some photos to share.
First... the room I rented.
The rules of the house posted on my bedroom door. No drugs, no drinking, no visitors, no sex. I tried to break all of them before I left.
The keys to my new place.
Ariel view of the building. The pool on the roof doesn't have water in it in this photo.
Now admittedly this is a small apartment, but I'm quite happy with it because it's in a nice location and the landlord is super nice. In fact she's become more of a friend than a landlord. And she's cute too.
She's a yoga instructor.
Last week we had dinner and tonight I'm going to her house for her birthday.
Anyway about my house. Here's some more photos.
When I first arrived I had nothing.
So I bought a bed. It's probably one of the nicest beds I've ever owned.
I set up a bookshelf with some things I had brought from home.
Bought a fridge and a small oven.
Set up my knifes and cooking tools.
Made a desk, sort of.
And got a small bedside dresser.
A second bookshelf for glasses and plates.
Glasses and plates.
A food processor.
And added under counter lighting.
Started stocking the bar.
So, things are coming along. I want to decorate the entire place with black and white furniture and get a bright red couch and red and white curtains. It should be nice once it's all done. In Argentina many people learn to work with small spaces. I suppose in most major cities people do when they get their first, more affordable place, but I'm liking the challenge. Trying to find unique ways to store things. Trying to make use of every inch of space. Quite different to my huge 2 bedroom apartment with basement, off street parking, and huge backyard in NJ, but I'm comfortable and happy.
Some photos from the first pool day with me and Krito.
Anyway, I have some photos to share.
First... the room I rented.
The rules of the house posted on my bedroom door. No drugs, no drinking, no visitors, no sex. I tried to break all of them before I left.
The keys to my new place.
Ariel view of the building. The pool on the roof doesn't have water in it in this photo.
Now admittedly this is a small apartment, but I'm quite happy with it because it's in a nice location and the landlord is super nice. In fact she's become more of a friend than a landlord. And she's cute too.
She's a yoga instructor.
Last week we had dinner and tonight I'm going to her house for her birthday.
Anyway about my house. Here's some more photos.
When I first arrived I had nothing.
So I bought a bed. It's probably one of the nicest beds I've ever owned.
I set up a bookshelf with some things I had brought from home.
Bought a fridge and a small oven.
Set up my knifes and cooking tools.
Made a desk, sort of.
And got a small bedside dresser.
A second bookshelf for glasses and plates.
Glasses and plates.
A food processor.
And added under counter lighting.
Started stocking the bar.
So, things are coming along. I want to decorate the entire place with black and white furniture and get a bright red couch and red and white curtains. It should be nice once it's all done. In Argentina many people learn to work with small spaces. I suppose in most major cities people do when they get their first, more affordable place, but I'm liking the challenge. Trying to find unique ways to store things. Trying to make use of every inch of space. Quite different to my huge 2 bedroom apartment with basement, off street parking, and huge backyard in NJ, but I'm comfortable and happy.
Some photos from the first pool day with me and Krito.
I forgot to mention the Saturday before my trip to Colombia I had a party.
I invited some friends over.
There was some drinking.
There was some of this.
And I made some food.
But it didn't last long.
And there was dancing.
I invited some friends over.
There was some drinking.
There was some of this.
And I made some food.
But it didn't last long.
And there was dancing.
