Whoever wrote the following open letter is my personal hero. I have often given these very same arguments to people who put such faith in a book.
_____________________________
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fan,
Jim
_____________________________
each passage is cited, and can easily looked up. The bible does in fact state all these very things. Pickers and Chosers beware, you never know when you may get owned.
+++++++++++++
happy birthday stevie, you would have been 32 today. i miss you big brother, even tho its been 8 and a half years, it may as well be 8 and half minutes. see you on the otherside someday, wherever that may be.
_____________________________
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fan,
Jim
_____________________________
each passage is cited, and can easily looked up. The bible does in fact state all these very things. Pickers and Chosers beware, you never know when you may get owned.
+++++++++++++
happy birthday stevie, you would have been 32 today. i miss you big brother, even tho its been 8 and a half years, it may as well be 8 and half minutes. see you on the otherside someday, wherever that may be.
Fantastic show, great crowd, motherfucking awesome, only bad point: i brought my camera, but left the memory card at home. which is just as well, ida lost it in the pit anyway. Heres a short review if you care to read my opionions on it lol
Finger 11: I dont know thier songs but they were pretty good.
Highlight: The guitarist was on acid, he was funny. The drummer was INTENSE, he kept cussing at his drumset and he would stop in mid beat to lick his drumsticks. badass lol
Taproot: Again i didnt recognize most of the music, but one song. But they were good.
Highlight: Aside from the lead singer being hot, he came into the crowd and started a mosh pit, and moshed with us. Hardcore!
BuckCherry: Holy shit what can i say about BuckCherry? Fucking awesome set!
Highlights: CrazyBitch of course, great crowd energy. Also, Josh Todds story about cocaine "One time I did so much blow I couldnt come down no matter how much weed i smoked or how many beers i drank. So i decided to jack off, so i got in the shower and jacked off my flacid penis.............................. and came. Yea bitches!" Marvelous lol
and of course
GODSMACK: Fucking A Right, GREAT SONGS Great special effects, just perfect weather, dark outside. Couldnt have been better.
HIGHLIGHTS: DimeBag Darrel Tribute in the beginning. Then they played a rendition of "Walk" setting off a HUGEEE pit. wicked bitch lets mosh.
Drum Duet, with moving drum sets with Sully and the drummer. BADASS
Voodoo, Sully raised some serious energy, and he TOUCHED MY HAND, i thought i would have an orgasm right there i swear.
General Concert highlights:
Jodi from elgin. thanks for letting me feel you up hotstuff, just wish i had gotten your number!
MOSH PIT! Some guy lost a nipple ring. OUCH
Special props should be given to us girls who hang out in the mosh pit. We are a rare breed. I held my own. Knocked one guy over and felt bad like hey dood get up for someone sees you got knocked out by a chick lol
All in all fantastic show, great times.
now pardon me while i go soak my achy bones in a bathtub, my body hurts.
hardcore rock n roll bitches, mosh on
RIP DimeBag, We still can hear your music
Finger 11: I dont know thier songs but they were pretty good.
Highlight: The guitarist was on acid, he was funny. The drummer was INTENSE, he kept cussing at his drumset and he would stop in mid beat to lick his drumsticks. badass lol
Taproot: Again i didnt recognize most of the music, but one song. But they were good.
Highlight: Aside from the lead singer being hot, he came into the crowd and started a mosh pit, and moshed with us. Hardcore!
BuckCherry: Holy shit what can i say about BuckCherry? Fucking awesome set!
Highlights: CrazyBitch of course, great crowd energy. Also, Josh Todds story about cocaine "One time I did so much blow I couldnt come down no matter how much weed i smoked or how many beers i drank. So i decided to jack off, so i got in the shower and jacked off my flacid penis.............................. and came. Yea bitches!" Marvelous lol
and of course
GODSMACK: Fucking A Right, GREAT SONGS Great special effects, just perfect weather, dark outside. Couldnt have been better.
HIGHLIGHTS: DimeBag Darrel Tribute in the beginning. Then they played a rendition of "Walk" setting off a HUGEEE pit. wicked bitch lets mosh.
Drum Duet, with moving drum sets with Sully and the drummer. BADASS
Voodoo, Sully raised some serious energy, and he TOUCHED MY HAND, i thought i would have an orgasm right there i swear.
General Concert highlights:
Jodi from elgin. thanks for letting me feel you up hotstuff, just wish i had gotten your number!
MOSH PIT! Some guy lost a nipple ring. OUCH
Special props should be given to us girls who hang out in the mosh pit. We are a rare breed. I held my own. Knocked one guy over and felt bad like hey dood get up for someone sees you got knocked out by a chick lol
All in all fantastic show, great times.
now pardon me while i go soak my achy bones in a bathtub, my body hurts.
hardcore rock n roll bitches, mosh on
RIP DimeBag, We still can hear your music
things have a way of coming full circle. and the phrase "history repeats itself" is probably the only completely truthful statement there is.
anyway, fuck depression its boring. onward soldiers march with me to the end of the road. throw out your pills and securities, walk with me down the path of chaotic destruction.
OH MY GODdess. i watched "Katt Williams : The pimp chronichles pt 1" last night. hands down the funniest stand up i have ever seen. wicked!
GODSMACK! tonight
i
cant
wait
ill have tons of pics to share. Block Party baby, Godsmack BuckCherry Taproot and Finger 11
remember kids, fuck like bunnies!
anyway, fuck depression its boring. onward soldiers march with me to the end of the road. throw out your pills and securities, walk with me down the path of chaotic destruction.
OH MY GODdess. i watched "Katt Williams : The pimp chronichles pt 1" last night. hands down the funniest stand up i have ever seen. wicked!
GODSMACK! tonight
i
cant
wait
ill have tons of pics to share. Block Party baby, Godsmack BuckCherry Taproot and Finger 11
remember kids, fuck like bunnies!
sometimes i just wonder. and i get tired.
im tired. too tired to wonder anymore. why i am the way i am
why i do the things i do
does anyone really care anyway?
im tired. too tired to wonder anymore. why i am the way i am
why i do the things i do
does anyone really care anyway?
and finally, a new picture of meh:
this was today, and shortly after this was taken i was viciously assaulted by cicadas. yuck
why is it that when you think you have gotten to teh bottom of some feelings, and gotten over something it always comes back.
this is driving me insane.
this love is killing me, but youre the only one.
________
OH MY FUCKING GOD
where was i when xip left? what the fuck is going on!!!???
this was today, and shortly after this was taken i was viciously assaulted by cicadas. yuck
why is it that when you think you have gotten to teh bottom of some feelings, and gotten over something it always comes back.
this is driving me insane.
this love is killing me, but youre the only one.
________
OH MY FUCKING GOD
where was i when xip left? what the fuck is going on!!!???
have you ever been just sitting around
minding your own business
when all of a sudden, a song comes on
a lyric passes thru the speaker
and suddenly your lost in a sea of memories
the picture in your mind, of that one person
every detail of thier face
a certain smell floods your body with a lifetime of thoughts
that one person
the one who even now
all the time apart cannot silence the voice
you can close your eyes and almost touch them
thier taste is on your lips
remembering every moment
every tear
you relive the whole spectrum of emotion
so that when you open your eyes
its almost like everything just happened
you just got that call
you just found out
you just made the desicion
you just walked away
some emotions never change
this love is killing me, but youre the only one.
________________________
a soft touch a skin
the smell of sweat hangs heavy
lust is moving
love kills.
where did i go? i digress
this song, no
not the song
the lyric
brings me back to then your breath on my neck
rendered me without will
its been so long, and still i question
will it ever go away?
__________________________________
oxy, i love you.
minding your own business
when all of a sudden, a song comes on
a lyric passes thru the speaker
and suddenly your lost in a sea of memories
the picture in your mind, of that one person
every detail of thier face
a certain smell floods your body with a lifetime of thoughts
that one person
the one who even now
all the time apart cannot silence the voice
you can close your eyes and almost touch them
thier taste is on your lips
remembering every moment
every tear
you relive the whole spectrum of emotion
so that when you open your eyes
its almost like everything just happened
you just got that call
you just found out
you just made the desicion
you just walked away
some emotions never change
this love is killing me, but youre the only one.
________________________
a soft touch a skin
the smell of sweat hangs heavy
lust is moving
love kills.
where did i go? i digress
this song, no
not the song
the lyric
brings me back to then your breath on my neck
rendered me without will
its been so long, and still i question
will it ever go away?
__________________________________
oxy, i love you.
i cannot believe my account is still open guys and gals, how much of a grace period do i get?
well just in case i go gray, i love you all.
life is ok, i have no real complaints. i miss someone, but things change you know and sometimes you have to ride the wave and just hang the fuck on.
my emails are back on and im checking them so for those of you getting bounced im sorry, i just needed to deal with life i guess.
vista still blows ass and i hate it. oh and i have a new hobby, im learning how to build websites! its nifty.
so its 4am and i need sleep.
-----------------------
well just in case i go gray, i love you all.
life is ok, i have no real complaints. i miss someone, but things change you know and sometimes you have to ride the wave and just hang the fuck on.
my emails are back on and im checking them so for those of you getting bounced im sorry, i just needed to deal with life i guess.
vista still blows ass and i hate it. oh and i have a new hobby, im learning how to build websites! its nifty.
so its 4am and i need sleep.
-----------------------
OCTOBER 2007
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SEPTEMBER 2007
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AUGUST 2007
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JULY 2007