For waikiki –

Is this wonderful?

No, this is better,
It is the sight of her.

Is she beautiful?

No, she is better than that.

She is the look of a slow saxophone song.
She is the power of the night chill.
She is the dream of the starving and the desire of the saved.
She is the stairway to heaven she the elixir of earth.
She is the cool bass, the hot flash, the chill across my soul's skin.

Is that all she is?

No, she is more,
She is love and fire.



inspired by and written for waikiki ... the words showed up after i saw the set "amore y feugo"

- m

me me me… all anbout me . this is an introduction

Im a slave to sound; im a thinker; I love cats; I always have an instrument with me– really alway; I am retired; I live on the side of a mountain; it is my mountain (really the families mountian, but I prefer to say mine); I love to hike; I do yoga; I have a nerve disorder; I love books; almost never watch movies or tv; ive been to Japan and Jamica - both changed me for ever the better; I love disonate music and beautiful music alike; perfum will make me close my eyes, breathe deep and swoon; I have a pet black widdow; I sometimes get caught in some special space wherein I will listen to the same song over and over and over and over; I have more scars than tattoos; usually don’t get along with boys; I hate professional sports; I have trememdous respect for women (usually); I believe that big business this the cancer of the world; I am a terrible speller; I am good at math; I was a professional chef at a country club for @ 10yrs, I was a bio-medical engineer for @ 10yrs and I was a Reglatory manager for a GE site in Cleveland OH for a couple yrs before I retired; I would like to go to Scotland and Paris and Machu Pechu; I would like to meet Quinne; I think Frisky Dingo is the funnyest show ever.

At the moment I am listening to Jackie-O Motherfucker. I just bought the mp3 of it yesterday, along with: Amps for Jesus, Miles Davis, Alambamba Shakes, Labowski, Zola Jesus and the Audiobooks: floowing the line (Twain), Brain Trust, Assassination Vacation, 100 greatest poems. This all an eclectic collection, but it was what appealed to me at the time that I decided to use up my emusic credits. I use to be a fan of that site, but they are pissing me off and I think they are gona goo the way of the dodo. Oh yeah, Coltrane’s Giant Steps was on sale today. As was Roger Waters’ first album. Both were added to my collection.

Yeh – it is easy to see that I have a music addiction. To me it is the only real form of comunication. I love music. I have something for every mood and situation. If I had 1 wish from the preverbal genie it would be to have the ability to create a soundtrack to my life on demand, in my head or out, as loud as I want and from all music forthcoming or past (I have thought of this way too much). But you get my drift: music music music…

I also play music. I have several types of stringed instruments, a few percussion and (most recently ) a couple harmoinicas. The harmonicas are new. Never tried them, but I have flound myselof to be a natural. I got them cuz they fit the heat and the forest and the area. I moved to our mountain last year to take care of my mom as she became disabled (that’s what drive me to retire). the mountain is in fuck-all NC. Believe there are fourteen hundred ppl in the town where I live (moravian falls). So the vibe here, in my opinion, is one off old southern blues. So a harmonica fit. And, its kinda fun. I like. I like to hike with my kids (see below) and play the harp.

My kids. I have 12 children, most ppl call them cats but they are much more than that to me. My friends and my babies. They follow me on hikes. They are trained (kinda). They sleep with me. They follow me. They love me. They have happyness in there eyes when they see me. They come running when I get home. There is always at lest two in my presence, but usually more. at the moment there are six with me. Keeping me company. Some time sooon I will blog on ythe cats; for now I will leave it at that.

I guess you could say that I always have with me: an instrument, an audio device and some collection of cats. Its pretty rad.

For now that is a good introduction to me. Next time I am going to talk about my new obsession with books. I have given up TV and ppretty much never watch movies due to the fact that I am always imersed in a book. I spend most of my time listening to a book while I play aimlessly along with some stringed instrument making music that I think goes with the reading. But I fucking love books now (audible was a recent discovery).

Cheers to those who read this.

500 greatest albums of all time-
Ok. Im not gona say I like music as much as the next guy. I like music way more than the next guy. I love music. It’s really a sickness. I am an addict to sound. I have to have music. I have music for every mood, every situation, evey experiacne. No surprise that I like everytype of music, then. Really the only cirteria is that it is not foolish or silly. I don’t like stupid music, it pisses me off. But there is somethinng from everything that I like.
Listening makes me happpy, keeps me sane(ish), embraces my saddness, powers me up, helps me escape, backs up my singing, makes me crazy(er), brings back memories, makes the moment, helps me to sleep, wakes me up, sets the mood, goes along for the ride… music is the quintesential elemnt in my life.
Today I listened to: garbage, the beach boys’ ppet soounds, a little zeppelin, some debussy (a classical composer). I am currently spiningedith piaf, a german singer from the 40’s or something near to then. Her music is kinda caberet-ish.
So yeah, I am all over the place and always listening.
The beach boys are not part of my normal listening experience. Pet sounds has two real good tracks: god only knows and wouldn’t it be nice. I was inspired to spin iit because of the rolling stone mag’s top 500 issue. in it, Pet sounds is in the top 10. It is (schokingly) #2. I have yet to read the criteria for the positions and I am no critic of any professional caliber. However, #2. ???. I don’t see it. The reeason I was listening to it was to see if I can see it. Yup, don’t. it is ok, but it just doesn’t strikeme as genious. #1 is Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. Now that is geneus. For sure. For the end of the last song, day in the life, they got all the pianos in the building, where the recording studios were, into the room they were using. I think it was 10 or so. They all were struck at the same time in the lowest possible cord and as it faded out the sound engineer was slowly raising the recording volvume of the mics to pick up every possible second of the cord’s sound. That’s rad. Does it add much to the song? No. does the common listener even hear it? Prolly not. I bet there are plently of people in the world that have heard the song but never made it to the last 10 seconds were that happens. But not everytning is for everyone. It was a neat trick a neat idea that came to the guys while there were in a magical time of creativity in their lives. The album is full of all kinds of tricks like this. Great song writing. Great bass playing. It’s brilliant. A deservid #1. But pet sounds? Sheeesh. I would have put Exile On Main Street (rolling stones) before pet sounds.
The top 10 in order is: sgt Peppers (beatles), pet sounds (beach boys), revolver (beatles), highway 61 revisited (bob dylan), rubber soul (beatles), whats going on (marvin gay), exile (stones), london calling (the clash), blonde on blonde (bob dylan) and the white album (beatles) at #10.
Four beatles in the top 10. Safe to say rolling stone mag has a high regard for their talent and song writing. I agree. I really dig me some beatles.
The clash in the top ten blew me away. I love that album. It is brilliant. It is full of tricks just like sgt peppers is. In fact there is a song, who’s name escapes me at the moment, that uses 2 or 3 or 4 pianos for a thicker sound. I don’t remember all the deatail of that pictular review of the recording of london calling but I know I came away impressed. I believe it is in the liner notes for the delux version. Whatever the tricks and talents may be, it is a great album. It is all over the place with styles, tempos and ideas. I am just schocked that it was picked to be in the top ten. Deserved, but surprising.
Me, I would have put some tom waits and nick cave in the top ten. But I am a bit bias towards them. Prolly would toss in some bjork near the top too. But I am sure that RS has to consider mass appeal in addition to talent. And where my picks have talent, they lack the mass apppeal of the beatles and the beach boys. I wonder what my top ten albums would look like…


(this is Gobbles)

i just finished the novel Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

Lolita is a strange book. strange and disturbing. it begins as a story of a pervert. Then he becomes a delusional psychopath. I assume the point of the story is the curse of madness that accompanies such perversion. I have to agree. Not that I am failure with the same perversion. No, my curse of madness is a result of a much more mundane nature. However, I know of the madness that can come on, the paranoia or delusions that came besiege you after you carry out what your heart knows to be wrong. Even if you thing you don’t know it is wrong, you heart (soul) as a part of our universal conscious, knows. There are many that claim knowledge of the right and the wrong. Too many, so many such that the “right” is often shunned for no more reason than to escape or aggravate the preacher of those rights. And there are rights, rules, rely laws, that can not be ignored. These are the laws of physics. You cannot do what physics wont let you do (I personally believe that God is physics, but that is an entirely different story). But then there are these laws that your heart know (s?). Things that may be common knowledge, may be what we all know or they may be a secret to your heart alone. But those are the laws that when broken loose a curse that cannot be evaded or controlled. It is always best to do what is right.

at least that is what i think.

I just saw a great north Korea film on snagfilms

They mention how NK portrays the US as such an evil. The guy said something to the effect of: they talk so bad about US but they are the ones that the world is so mad at… that got me thinking ~ I wonder what the world does think about NK? Does the world hate them? Maybe not the whole world but part of it? How much? How much can you hate a country that has been raised by people who sell them lies. Scratch that, since the rest of the world hates the US. i could never have done this video, rather made this film. i believe that i would have let the little laff or eye roll during the serious parts. the moments when they were with the citizens i would have done with flying colors. it would have been like Japan for me and they were awesome. but during the part in the library in NK i would have cracked... they would have kept me or killed me for sure.
What I have seen on NK is saddening. There is this little tri from VBS guys and there is the documentary “Soul train”. That film was harsh. When it was finishing I was ready to join up with the movement , but it was over. The film is old now and the group seems gone.

It is a shame to live without a chance. or a choice. there is this part at the end of the snagfilm where our host is doing kereoke with his Korean group. dude found "anarchy in the uk" on the machine. and during that bit he narrates over the film ~ they (the Koreans) have no idea what punk rock is; they ahve no jazz, they have no blues, they have no rock. that sucks. seems narrow minded of me to have not been affected by the lack of cars and electricity and nightlife. but that's how i'm wired - for sound. to life without all the music is unfathomable to me. but that is only because music is how i see and base the world.
i assume that all of life's luxuries are scarce there. and life is so short, how sad to live it in entirety lacking happiness. but are they sad? can everyone there be sad? is that possible? could it be that they seem sad to us cuz they don't have what we have? as for this film i saw some people well dressed, and healthy looking and talented. they were out for the afternoon to take in the sights that the sight seers see. they didnt look to be on the verge of suicide. and they FUCKING love their leader. they think, i have heard, that he is a god. so you must have some positive people in the place or that dude would be out. if that is all you know then that is all you know. if all they know is what they have been shown then maybe there is some happiness there. not that i am trying to make NK seem like an ok place to be. i have no idea. my gut tells me that i would not like it. but i am just curious about the majority of the ppl there; are they all unhappy? to compare, i know that if a north Korean came to the US and shot a film in the ghettos of new York and new jersey that we would look pretty bad. i didn't see them tooling around the downtown metropolitan areas of north korea in the film. maybe there are some ppl there that have some amenities. there has to be right? yeah they did show several places that were old school, but i saw many of those in Japan and they are not primeval. maybe Japan and NK both are polynomial...
i don't know. i guess i just want to believe that there are some ppl there that are ok. i want to believe that the entire nation is not full of despair. either way, i hope the new leader can make a change for the better.

thanks to missy for the link that got me to the video and got my big brain going on this idea.and god bless us, everyone.

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When the hurlyburly's done... Fair is foul, and foul is fair: Hover through the fog and filthy air.



what do you see in the fire?



(that is if the compressed size allows for the imagery inside)



What bloody man is that? He can report, As seemeth by his plight, of the revolt

Poem 082911

There is a softer place
A heaven, probably
It’s for someone I guess
Maybe it goes unoccupied
It is just a dream to me
But its soft
And its soothing
And it sooths that which has been … for so long

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poem: true?

Do we not sell our souls for love.
Do we not give away our dreams at night?
Do we not lose our very thoughts to the dreams of her that captivates?
A longing blank stare off through a wondow, a memory of a smile or a kiss or a dream…
Heart, thought, dreams are these not part of the soul? And are they not lost to love.
Willing or not we trade up these things for that which captures our heart.

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just a thought - do we see as much as we know?

Just a random thought ~
Of course God is out there, & in here and everywhere. But is god anything like what we think. Perhaps it is shear pretension to believe that we can even think at a level capable of defining God. How arrogant are we.
We are incapable of defining our universe or even seeing it all, yet there are those that categorize the creator of it. We can’t even completely understand or define or selves or our minds, yet we will document our findings on the Creator. Ignorance zealots.
We’ve used his name for killing and cruelty. Impetuous


Here’s a secret, you want to find God- look all around you. the wind, the animals, the light the sound the physics, the starting the stopping ,the stars, the emotions- these are all creations by the Creator (Conductor).
At least that is how I see it

Oh yeah, “the fragility”; I forgot that I posted that poem I wrote. I like it. it just came to me, as they all do. It just hits me; some catalyst triggers a thought that becomes some poem. They usually flow out with little effort after the influence, which may be a sight or sound or sensation. A suicide girl for example, may set off some series of words that become a poem. I usually do have too much control over it. Actually I believe that I am really just some sort of vessel that catches something already floating around. I just give form. I believe this is a common phenomena or truth of our world. I think that there songs, poems, paintings and any other example of art exist outside of our ideas or creation. These wonderful entities of art are floating around waiting to be picked up in our dimension and brought to form. Like a radio picks up a song from the airwaves, we can pick up a piece of art or idea. I believe a good example of this is the “one hit wonder”. But I digress. “The fragile” was created from my hearing problem. Not sure why but I often have difficulty making out words in songs or conversations. As a reaction I unconsciously insert words to fill the gaps. It’s like misreading word. In this case there was a Lenard Cohen song playing and I couldn’t make out a line from it. I asked myself if it was “endless light” or “end this life” (I’m still not sure what is actually said). As soon as I thought about it I got lost in the idea that became the poem.
It, the poem, is asking what if the difference between emotions is or can be as easy as a misunderstanding. Here there are two extremely powerful but completely opposite emotions- one is elation or love the other is depression or suicide. Both can consume the person experiencing the emotion. But what if the difference between them, between feeling the emotion, was as easy as a misunderstanding? What if someone was so consumed by their emotions that the experience could go from heaven to hell as easily as they could misinterpret a single statement? It’s a tragic poem really. There’s no in-between, just uncontrollable extreme. Sometimes emotions are so fragile while they are so powerful.

"the fragility"

Endless light, end this life
They sound so similar
Once spoken
Only a slightest inflection
Makes difference
.
Can emotion
Be so similar
That only an inflection
Tell they apart
?