Sometimes I think Im in love with Enid from Ghost World. I have a lot of different theories as to why I think that. Part of it is she hates people like I do, for being recognizably phony. Its always annoying when you can tell someone is faking it.
Other times I think she just reminds me of myself. Which makes me wonder if Im really just a total fag. I dont have the obsession with camp that she does. But I change my appearance a lot and I also thrive on ruthlessly cutting people down. Enid knows that everybody is full of shit. Its just obnoxious when they cant even do a convincing job of pretending otherwise.
Ive also had a bunch of friends like Becky. Weird mutual obsessions and shit. I have a friendship like that right now. Like her I also fantasize about disappearing from my friends lives. I think the bus at the end of Ghost World might be a symbol for death. An old man is waiting for it and then finally takes it, Enid takes it when she gets shut out of college and Becky leaves her for Josh.
At one point Enid describes her ideal guy, rugged, chain-smoking, intellectual, adventurer guy whos really serious but also really funny and mean Im pretty damn close to that, minus the whole rugged thing, although I do tend to neglect showers or shaving. My ex girlfriend also reminds me of her, but shes not as cool.
If I ever Imagine myself with her though its never good. She, like myself, seems way to evil and difficult to love sustainably.
Other times I think she just reminds me of myself. Which makes me wonder if Im really just a total fag. I dont have the obsession with camp that she does. But I change my appearance a lot and I also thrive on ruthlessly cutting people down. Enid knows that everybody is full of shit. Its just obnoxious when they cant even do a convincing job of pretending otherwise.
Ive also had a bunch of friends like Becky. Weird mutual obsessions and shit. I have a friendship like that right now. Like her I also fantasize about disappearing from my friends lives. I think the bus at the end of Ghost World might be a symbol for death. An old man is waiting for it and then finally takes it, Enid takes it when she gets shut out of college and Becky leaves her for Josh.
At one point Enid describes her ideal guy, rugged, chain-smoking, intellectual, adventurer guy whos really serious but also really funny and mean Im pretty damn close to that, minus the whole rugged thing, although I do tend to neglect showers or shaving. My ex girlfriend also reminds me of her, but shes not as cool.
If I ever Imagine myself with her though its never good. She, like myself, seems way to evil and difficult to love sustainably.
I've started off a sobriety kick. Today is day 3. I'm also quitting smoking. But that is less crucial to what is the main problem at the moment. Which is my sub par performance in school. Oh but on a positive note my transfer to UC santa cruz was approved so now I'm just waiting on Berkeley.
girlfriend left for eleven days. now it's just me all alone in san diego with my one friend. who is a junky.
SUCKAH! Yeah if you linked here from the celebrity thread you now know... I am famous in the future and I am VAIN AS FUCK! BIOTCH!
see now I'm young and punk and I talk a good game
but you deluding yo'self if you think that ain't gonna change.
my blue and black hair, the close that I wear,
in a couple uh years that'll all dissapear into thin air.
I'll reappear in a suit, choked in tie
grabbin up figures
while you servin up fries
I'll quote marx and chomsky
as long it's rockin
but at the end of the day,
It's all fuckin talking
I wouldn't give my life for any revolution
there's no confusion
my ideals an illusion
best to strike me harder than unions.
I'm tall white & male, my position is fixed
I'm the next generation of Man of whom you'll be suckin his dick
but you deluding yo'self if you think that ain't gonna change.
my blue and black hair, the close that I wear,
in a couple uh years that'll all dissapear into thin air.
I'll reappear in a suit, choked in tie
grabbin up figures
while you servin up fries
I'll quote marx and chomsky
as long it's rockin
but at the end of the day,
It's all fuckin talking
I wouldn't give my life for any revolution
there's no confusion
my ideals an illusion
best to strike me harder than unions.
I'm tall white & male, my position is fixed
I'm the next generation of Man of whom you'll be suckin his dick
This album by Immortal techniques has got to be the most heavily political thing I've heard in a long time. It's so amazing. He spits with such intelligence it's mind blowing. Blows my mind so far back I lost a sense of self. It's hard to write when you're looking up to figures like this.
Man I'm totally redeveloping a drug addiction which isn't something I've had to deal with for a couple years now. I figured I was in the clear because I'd been using recreationally for a long time but all of a sudden I can feel the old, nueroses and obsessions gaining strengh, like spider webs turning to steel cables.
My mission for now is to push for a SG set featuring a male. My preference would be for one of those feminine little indy boys who I see often on sites like myspace and friendster. Their androgony is an enticing enigma.
Ya, so I guess mission accomplished for break. I did drank and drugged and had lots of sex. My ex girlfriend slapped me at a party for hooking up with another girl. I've been doing meth lately and although this may come as a shocker, I think it's bad for me. But now that everyone is gone it looks like me and my girlfriend are getting back together. Last night I started writing an erotic story about me and this girl. I've known her since high school and we've been psychologically torturing each other for years now. She was clearly winning for the first two but I've been making a steady comeback and I've finally gotten the upper hand. The story is light s&m which is odd because s&m isn't really my bag, but she's a special case.
