So here I am, the day after the 4th of July, smokin my cigarettes and doin some soul searchin. It seems like this is what I do with a lot of my free time. Walking through memories, questioning the future. I feel unattached from everything: friends, family, even GOD himself. Like I'm living in some kind of alternate reality. I'm there, but I'm not at the same time. I constantly wonder what my life would have been. If I had chosen to live with my mother instead of my father, if I had gone to college instead of joining the Navy, if I had chosen to get stationed in Norfolk instead of San Diego, if I had never gotten involved with my ex. At the same time I wonder what the future holds for me. Whom I'm destined to be with, what kind of father I will be to my future children, what my purpose in life is. It feels like I'm back in high school again; I know everyone is going through much the same search that I am, yet it seems like they are so much better off than I. I know that someday all of the pieces will fall into place, but I'm not a patient guy, and I'm tired of waiting.

Hopefully all Y'all are having a better weekend than I am.

Happy Independence Day.