I understand I can't run around playing saint. It irks people. It provokes them after a while. That business of offering help.
It's like requiring implicit trust so that I can act gets under people's skin when they are like why does it work for you.. but not me?
Laughing at them.. Even as I'm picking them up and dusting then off...
Well I don't know how or why, how about you just try it again.
That's my attitude to my stores when they call because for the most part all I do is regurgitate policy, rhetoric, procedures etc.
It has happened several times though when it fails to rub people the right way.. It isn't that I'm short of patience with the people I love.. but just when you tell people what to do for a living.. have them insist on fucking up.. so that you have to take over and do the thing they are paid to do.. it becomes a habit.
It is such an ingrained habbit though that I don't even give it a second thought. I'm like one side biotch... and do the thing.
Just don't make me repeat myself.
And don't expect me to ask.
These character flaws should be put out there at the beginning, but I try to do my best to make them apparent.. I don't tell people about them because that makes me unlikable. It just means perpetual damage control.
I understand that means embarrassment when and if that backfires.. but every time that it does I'm like I'm sorry what wrong did I actually do?!
I left you alone.
Granted that got out of control because I wasn't home in time to say oops I overreacted. Why do you still need to be alone? Let me help.
I wiped everything. Pertaining to me alone. Nothing else was impacted. What lasting harm was done?
And granted that was extreme and I'm extremely rueful of the act, well at first anyway, then I realized how seriously what should have been a prank managed to backfire for everyone involved...
It's almost comical but just too damn much drama this has all caused. I only manage to manage my rage by helping in the first place... this is what happens when I'm left idle. It's my problem and I suffer.. alone.. ok fine.. but seriously wtf