Things are looking better then ever

I steadily became more depressed as you departed today. I cannot figure out why even after taking some time to think over Decemberists' lyrics. You asked me to write the first page in the journal I bought you and I have yet to come up with anything. Im sorry about that..Ill get on it as soon as I get some good ideas. My writing and drawings are not intended to be shared and are really nothing more than embarassing.

-Martina

Went ticket crazy today!
Bought my tickets to Wolf Parade and Cirque du Solei. Buzzcocks and Warped Tour tickets will be on the way. Anyone going? I dont feel so bad that I wont be going to Germany this summer. Germany is kicking so much ass in soccer. GO GERMANY!!!

I have been so inward recently (when have I ever NOT been inward?) Those who know me will know this. But as it seems most of the people I know on here have disapeared leaving nothing but a grey member name and a picture. Where has Chrise Jay gone? Well Ive been keeping him entertained tehehe.

But with all the stresses of college I realise more than ever the importance of self expression so Ive decided to become active on suicidegirls once again! If anyone can hear me out there say "HIIIII!" Things look so different around suicidegirls now. I dont see a face I know. I'm all alone....

Finally a moment to stop and relax. Called in sick at the mountain cause it seems my cold has come back full force! So Im hanging out at my bf's house, waiting for him to get off work. Maybe I should come up with a sexy surprise for when he gets home. hmmmm.

I gota new job at Mnt Seymour not too long ago and it kicks so much ass. I get paid to run around in the snow, play on snow tubes, ride the snow skate and make snow forts. AND I can be late with out being yelled at. This is a hell of alot better than the military like work style at Starbucks which I have grown to loathe. I think its time to quit working at the bucks and move on to bigger and better things.

The Blood Brothers show rocked and Im looking forward to the Metric show in April.

Two days with out my head medication and I go through with drawl symptoms. I find it ironic that Im watching trainspotting and it's at the part where one of the guys is coming off heroin and theres a baby crawling on the ceiling. I kinda feel like that but with out the baby.

No matter what I do it always comes down to me being dependant on some kind of substance. Be it coffee, cigarettes, meds, sushi or sex.

And yes it is possible to become addicted to sushi!

Is it possible to over sex your bf? Cause it seems like its only me that really wants it... and I want it all the time! What the fuck is wrong with me!

arrrrgggggggggg!!!!!

But on a more positive note keekapunk has just moved into Vancouver and moved in with a friend of mine OrdinaryDeviant, who is also a new SG member. What a small world eh?

Finally a new year...but the same old resolutions... fuck the resolutions this year... less talk more action!

Im such a sponge. Sucking up all the coolness and inspiration. Retaining everything, always craving more and more moisture. Now Ive had my fill and I let it all ooze out. Mind the floor, Its all slippery with my contents.

Black Halos concert tonight at the media club with my man Chrise Jay. This makes me anxious at 2 am.

No matter how hard I tried I just couldnt do the casual lover thing. Im just not a girl you have a fling with. But Im not the kinda girl you want to bring home to meet your mom either.

But at least I got that over with.

The best thing about dirty little secrets is when you find out your best friend has the same dirty little secret!

A night of drinking white wine can really clear the air

aahh the first snow fall of the season. Always makes me look back at the year gone past and think about all the stupid shit I did! But you live and you learn.

My back stings from last nights tattoo sesh which made me realise that Im not as tough as I remembered I was haha. The tattoo looks amazing and I can't wait to show it off even though its not finished.

It's my dad's birthday today! How old does that make him? 56?...59? Ive lost count.