Nightmares back again called doc he said that's not good I'm on dangerously high levels of meds as it is fun fun. So here was last nights, I woke up lying on a tropical beach with black sand as my eyes got used to the light there are corpses everywhere it was some kind of battle the sea is red with blood, some faces I know others I don't, so I treat my wounds and look for weapons and armor because I still hear the battle, as I move inland there are people fighting monsters and demons it looks hopeless but I join in anyway, the fight was long and bloody in the end we pushed them back, made camp treated the wounded sing songs tell jokes rest and wait till the next battle, and it comes dark thunder midnight I wake again they are in the camp, people are being ripped apart, I see a flash of light feel burning pain in my chest looking down a hole burns through me, this time I wake up to reality sweating shaking still in pain then I come back down my phone rings, and that's what I live with every night when the meds don't work
Okay heres the deep dish, she skipped state by train to wa to be with her drug head abusive boyfriend the cops said sorry nothing we can do get a lawyer hope for the best she's across state lines maybe it will work out, lesson learned stop treating her like a person she has no common sence is rude disrespectful and knows I was willing to give her the benefit of the dought to do the right thing, no more its cut throat time no more mister nice guy I'm filling kidnapping charges Monday morrning because that what she has done she wants her ass beet that's fine by me but he isn't going to touch my daughter ever again, I will find the way I'm seeing red and shaking DON'T PISS OFF THE KILLER IT ISN'T HEALTHY, flat out I'm a combat vet I have killed for less then this, and abusing my 4 year old daughter is a damn good reason to take a life
So much shit going on in my life right now it's unbelievable, my father is doing okay from day to day still having lots of dementia issues, my health is crap and the ex wife is still trying to move to wa with my kid and acting like I'm stupid, she is fucking posting it all over Facebook did she think I suddenly forgot how to read, look I never hit her but damn I'm starting to see why people like to beat her what the fuck
I walk across the ashes of a world I don't remember graves lay open bodies in piles waiting to rest in the earth, faces I know have yet to know and some I never will, I feel nothing numb or a dream I walk on needing to know there are voices speaking yet I can not understand them, every where I look death and destruction, heart heavy I walk on, the hot ash burning my flesh still nothing must be dreaming, back to where I started, this time I bury the dead looking for my own grave it is not here so I move on, now I see it battle swords flash guns sound, I find myself in armor and armed I join the battle blood washes over me I delight in the slaughter wounded and unfeeling we battle on pushing back always just out of reach, then I wake was it a dream my body can't tell my heart knows it was my mind is still in a fog, so real can taste the blood and weight of my arms and armor
More radiation more drama with the ex wife and the daughter, thanks for all the support everyone will try to be around more again
Look a motherfucking bad ass
And more
chuck Norris anti got shit on him
I was reminded this past weekend that, it's not the blood in your veins that makes you family, but the blood you have shed and spilled that makes us a family, point of fact a man that I call my brother that lives on the other side of the country who was just married in oct and has a kid on the way, was willing to drop everything and come help me in my time of need, the bond of war is stronger then people understand, I thank god for that bond and the horrors we lived through to gain it, I really miss those assholes
Meds are no longer working nightmares have returned and in full force lucky me, well been up for 72 hours time to try and sleep wish me luck
