Llama WHO?!?!

I am still alive. Very busy elsewhere. I believe my account may be expiring in December. Sadly, I do not believe I will be renewing it. I think I have only logged in 3 times since my last post in August.

I am very much alive on facebook, go ahead and laugh. If you want to look me up there I will give you my info, though most of you already have it.

So, if I go grey one day, don't be sad.

I Leave you with a message from one of my all time favorite songs

New pic with my most valuable piece of art in the background!

HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY

Nothing in particular, just in a good mood.

Made some friends in Finland, have been invited to be their guest any time I felt like going. That is SOOO cool. One of the guys is into motorcycles, old cars, and snowmobiles. Hmmmm, how to decide when to visit. I think winter, I don't get real winter here and I would LOVE to do the snowmobile thing. Only did that once before and it was a blast.

Have a nice day!

I was having a particularly emotional day recently, being bombarded with mixed emotions, disbelief, betrayal, seething loathing, pity, relief, anger, confusion, a little doubt and a pinch of compassion, when I received an email with this :

I had never before been dropped to my knees with simply a kind act, it was a humbling experience. When someone takes the time to really understand you and knows just the right thing that will touch you so deeply, you have found a true friend. I hope you all get to have the same experience, it can turn the darkest day so bright it hurts.

I finally bought me some cheap-ass mirrored aviator glasses that I have wanted since 1975 but my sight sucked so bad I couldnt wear them. Revenge is MINE I say.

But, I had thought I Had the entire universe figured out and that came to a crash today. Now everyone knows that "42" is the ultimate answer to the most important question about life, the universe and everything, but the trick was finding out "what is the question". Until today it was obvious as "42" is the answer to "What is the item number for Cherry Coke in the vending machine?". Now the universe has been shattered, they moved Cherry Coke to 35 and 42 is now some unimportant beverage. It's moments like this that you feel betrayed by the universe, the cruel cruel universe.

Even though I lay dying on the ground, bleeding from so so many little wounds, my compassion still creeps back to life, and I want to care. I can't let that happen, I did nothing wrong, I was killed for no reason, except perhaps the enjoyment of others, and still I find myself thinking of making peace before the end. Why can't I truly hate, or at least simply not care.

Thank you all for the nice comments. Yes, health is returning. Unfortunately, in the cosmic game of maintaining balance in the universe, my heart was yet again removed, beaten, chopped into fine bits, and run through the blender yet again. More life's lessons, you cannot reason with the insane. Insanity is in fact the black hole for reason and logic, and if you contain either, you will be ripped to shreds by the extreme gravitational pull of the insanity. It would have taken a 5 minuted conversation with me to avoid months of emotional tug-of-war and the inevitable tempest of hate, mistrust, and furious regret. Why is the truth so hard, no impossible, for some people to give. And then the need to destroy all that is good to appease ones guilty conscience? I wonder if I can fake the laws of the universe and pretend to be a heartless bastard so I attract my opposite and actually find a nice person who knows the value of the truth, and the rewards of honesty. But I fear I would only find someone pretending to be those things to attract a heartless bastard. Sometimes I really wish my heart would just fucking die already.

Have a nice day.

Free to good home :

post surgery shark eyes :