ohhhh lordy. .. friday i will be 21
and maybe no one knows what this means to me. ...
but basically
it means,
the WORLD. ..
i have made it s0o0o0o very far.
SO FAR!
It would blow your mind if you even knew.
I hope it's an awesome birthday and i have a super good time. ..
really i do hope so.
My mother is a uhm. ... well
whatever in your mind that you can think of. .. the most manipulative
horrible minded
hurtful
and sick
emotionally abusive
person
that you can think of. .. . ...
whoever that is in your life. ... it is her
in mine.
she. . ... has tried to break me down and hurt me tonite. .. by holding my two borthers who are 6 and 12. .. all three of us
have different fathers. .. .
not that it truley matters
but YOU know it does. .. .
she wont let me see them.
it doesnt hurt
as i expect this truley from her
and i let her be
and accept that she will never fill in the relationship i lack and need of mother. ..
but im fine and i will
I WILL
truck along. ..
it's all i know how to do. ..
but tonite. .. is over and tomorrow is new.
THANX

i feel free. i feel free. i feel free.
i feel free. i feel free. i feel free.
i feel free. i feel free. i feel free.
i feel free. i feel free. i feel free.

Today I have sniffles. . .. they suck. .. they're continued over from the day before and the day before that and back about 3 or 4 days ago. .. jefer. .. spawned the mutation and then gave it to me. .. THANX. .. buahaha. .. I'm feeling s0o0o much better after getting the IUD removed. .. I swear I feel different. .. and it's funny how much flatter my stomach is today. I know i am going to crash soon. .. the IUD 7-12 day bump is right around the corner. .. isn't it fucked up? My body is literally going to joans for hormones that a tiny t shaped plastic thing was distributing at some odd times of everyday into my body. .. making me a depressed, dizzy, moody, anxious, 20 lb heavier, rashy kindah gal. .. ehh can't say i will miss it. .. but on a brighter side. .. i am apartment hunting in new york. .. YES NEW YORK!! I am pretty excited. .. and tryyinggg to yank jefer with me. .. I think i have found the most beautiful apartment ever. .. in new jersey. .. right outside of newaark. .. contemplating the move to there. .. ahhhhhh it's so shitty outside but there's something liberating dancing in my bones. .. . i feel as though taking all of my bra's and burning them. .. .. is a serious option that i am considering. .. ahhh. . .. to be hormone induced-FREE. .. . as if women were not barrels of hormones as is. .. .. .. .

i feel free. i feel free. i feel free.
i feel free. i feel free. i feel free.
i feel free. i feel free. i feel free.
i feel free. i feel free. i feel free.

well today. .. I went to go get my Mirena IUD taken out. I had gotten it about a year ago after having my son Paris. I was told 9 out of 10 women recomended it and that it had virtually no side effects. WRONG!! I had severe mood swings and depression, dizziness, joint pain, and head aches. . ..along with a bad rash that I was told was an allregic reaction to something internally. .. .I had not yet looked to the Mirena as the cause to my problems. .. Today I feel liberated. . .I went to the doctors to have it taken out and im hoping the 20-25 lbs i packed on as a result from the Mirena will go away as well. ..
I just feel a new me coming soon. . ..

very soon. .. .

IM COMING OUT!! I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW GOT TO LET IT SHOWWWWW. . ... na na naaa sing it Paris. .. lalalalaaaa!

wellllll tuesday i did a set with SG Brooklyn. .. she's totally amazing...so sweet and s0o0o talented. .. made me feel so comfortable. .. and was just awesome with her angles and willingness to help me with poses and what not! I was pretty nervous. .. but she was right "it get's easier when your clothes are off" haha i warmed up a bit. .. i'm hoping everything goes well. .. so within the next two weeks (give or take) my set will be in member review. .. waiting for all of your thoughs and opinions!! I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!! either way i had an amazing time. .. and it really was a super amazing terrific experience. ..

I must say i am a bit sore

Well i think i am off to bedd. .. . i am so tireddd!!

everyone have a wonderful beautiful awesome amazing night. .. ..

LOVE LOVES

LEXXXXI <3

I HAVE A WISH LIST!!

ANDD MY 21st BIRTHDAY IS RIIIGHT AROUND THE CORNER!!
YEY!


s0o if you feel compelled to give some luvvin. . .. then you cann right here ----->
http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/10GC0STHVOJP7

OR just search for Lexxi C. Capon on amazon.com!!

woooohooooo I'm excited. ... My birthday is right around the corner!! IM TURNING 21!! It's gonna be super amazing!! A lot of my friends live in brewster NY so they all have fake ID's but I have never ordered a drink or have gone to a bar. .. .and i'm really very excited about it!! I'm hoping my friends are planning something super terrific and amazingggggggg!! I just really cannnnnnot wait!

OMFGGG!!
I jsut wrote an entire blog and somehow uhm erased it. .. . GRRR. .. . well to start off again. .. .I bought my son Paris a fish tank. It's a 20 gallon tank so it's fairly large!!! I have spent 40 dollers on an assortment of fish. ..all able to be together of course. .. last night one of the new fish I had gotten. .. A gold gourami. .. started to attack all of the other fish in the tank so I decided to take him out and return him back to the store!! This morning I woke up and the main fish he had been attacking was dead. .. .and one of the largest gold fish started to be really agresssive towards another gold fish. .. .. and I ended up having to take him out as well. .. now I have a pot with a gold fish in it and a glass bowl with a gold gourami in it. .. .. anddddd a dead fish in a plastic cup and I must admit I'm not too happy about all of this!!! These fishies are not tooooo cheap all together and for three of them to be out of comission. .. .. as in attacking and dying. .. well. .. im pretty sad. . .The fish tank is so peaceful and really is jsut so beautiful to look at. .. I even have three small froggies!!! It's pretty awesome!!
I have a job interview today at my local newspaper. . .. I'll be writing the classified adds. .. which im actually pretty excited about since i could potentially get my foot in the door towards a writing position!!! YEYYY!! That would be seriously awesome. Last night we had burgers and beans. .. buahahahaaa dylan cooked.. . ..andddd I went grocery shopping and ended up spending part of my rent. I got laid off of work. .. .. and am currently collecting unemployment until i can get my fins into another job!! <---teehee

Well I hope everyone has an easy going monday!! I know mine could have went a little smoother but hey what are mondays usually about? GRR's and AHHHHH's. .. haha really sorta kindah glad that it's over!!!!

<3333 miss. face

Dear You,
Well last night I didn't really do anything. I drank a little bit by myself and watched a movie and went to sleep probably around 12 AM or so. We recently got at&t u-verse cable with all of the movie channels. And I hafta say it's pretty fucking awesome to have digital cable and HD channels as well. It beats the shit out of regular cable that's for sure.
So last night I'm looking for a movie to watch and I see The Mighty----> ONLY my FAVORITEST MOVIE EVER!! and It was just starting and I watched it and went to sleep. That movie is so amazing. I've loved it forever. Hmmmm what else did I do last night. OH YEAH!! Dylan and I made a huge roast which was pretty awesome. We sprinkled some Adobo on it and ate it up. I have a feeling were actually gonna be eating it for a while beacause there's still quite a bit left.
So for the bad news. ARE YOU READY? Yesterday my son's beloved gold fish passed away. His/Her name was Dorthy. We're very upset that she's gone. Dylan suggested we have a "propper burial" and flush her down the toilet so she could swim with all of the other fishes in fishie heaven. .. which he said you could only get to through the hole in the toilet. We all agreed and as he went to pour dear Dorthy into the entry way to heaven aka (imagine a BIG echoing man voice for this phrase-->THE TOILET PORTAL. . .i noticed that there was Pee from Dylan previously using the toilet and not flushing!!! "What kind of fucking burial is this anyway Dylan?" and Dylan couldn't really see the big deal since "She's dead.!" Which yes she was indeed dead. .. but i don't think ANYONE is dead enough to be fluhed down a toilet thats filled with 10 min old peepee!! "Your wasting water!" Was Dylans BIG excuse for not flushing and justifying if crude ways. .. "You pissed in the toilet Dylan you hafta flush it, you used the water it needs to be flushed, it's NOT wasting!" So finally he flushed and then we mourned Dorthy, said a few kind words, and dumped her into (imagine a BIG echoing man voice for this phrase-->THE TOILET PORTAL!! RIP Dorthy!! You were a wonderful friend to us all and hope your ride through (imagine a BIG echoing man voice for this phrase-->THE TOILET PORTAL is a smooth and quick one, and you get to play with all of the other fishes that have passes on before you.
Last weekend Jefer, Dylan,and I all went to Candyball. A rave in Manhatten. DJ Hixxy was there so it was pretty packed. When we left around 3am there were people still lined up down the block to get in. But the line up of Dj's was pretty awesome. We sadly spent more time outside then we did inside since there were so many people you could barely dance or do anything at all!! Jefer had like 3 rum and cokes and said he had the spins. .. silly light weight. HAHA. .. and well of course Dyl and I had taken the big E!!! It was a grand ol' time but the best part was the conversation on the way home about the "DAHHHH LANGUAGE" that retards should have. And making a website that has all the different pitched DAHHS and what they mean. .. .No affence but I thought this was in itself a pretty RETARDED thing. . .since that DAHH LANGUAGE/ would be far too complex for a real retard. .. . but since we were all indulging in this conversation SERIOUSLY. ... It makes you wonder who the REAL RETARDS really are. .. buahahaa. .. it was a good time. So here's some pictures from the party. .. ENJOY!!






I can't find the picture of Jefer and I at the party. .. I'll update this when I doooo indeed find them!!

Well I'm off to eat some pizza. .. I woke up about half an hour ago. ..I know I know I'm a lazy bum!!!

PA~ Paris, my son, LUUUUVS MANGO!!

LALALOOOOOVE,
MISS. FACE

I knowww I know I havent written in a while. I've been going into chat a lot though. I'm hoping tooooo get a little more sleep. .. maybe a small nap before tonight I'm still sitting here in my robe. .. a little hung over from last nite. I'm hoping to hang out and have a good time tonight. IIIIIIIIIIII Don't know. I got laid off from my job. Which is really pretty annoying. .. .and heart wrenching.

.. . ... Someone PUH-LEEZE fetch me a helmet garrrrrrr!!! hehehee.
No work = no paying of the bills and such. ..and well, obviously that's a must MUST m u s t . I have a couple of job interviews this coming week so hopefully something opens up for me until I can find something stable.

Well i'm gonna drag my lazy tooshie into the shower and get ready for the day. .. .i'm being quite a bum!! Hope everyone has a happy super terrific saterday.






Love always...
Miss. Face!!
PS~ I'll write more later. ... I PWOMISH!!!

i'mmm in limbo. waiting to get my first set up and running and decided to grab a membership while im waiting to get my shoot done send it in. .. and get down with buisness<---i never spell that right.


------------------------------------UPDATE BITCHEZZ----------------------------
ahem i DONT wanna be a suicide girl. .. really. .. E V E R. .. get ustah me. .. im a member<3