Ok so I am feeling better today. I rode the train for like 3 hrs yesterday and just read the entire VICE magazines 10th anniversary of do's and don'ts. I just sat there like Deniro in cape fear laughing out loud around a bunch of suits getting off work. It was so cool at the end of the book to see that Joe Strummer contributed to the do and donts before he died. Which reminds me my girlfriend and I want to do a shrine (no house is complete without some sort of shrine) for Joe Strummer. She got this very cool art rock poster of Strummer by Fire house, and it was autographed by Sperry. She got it cause she worked on the book Art of Modern Rock and the artist gave her one for all her help. For those in SF who go to Thee Parkside I believe they have the same poster of Strummer hanging up. So yes.... we will make a shrine to Strummer,one of the coolest cat to ever walk the planet.

There are times,not too many, but there are times when I want to set fire and burn to ash everything I know and everything that I am. To grind my teeth to the pulp and rip my skin to the bone....

My girlfriend getting molested by one of her friends at Club Enslaved. I am on the side desperately trying to hold my composure....

Ok so I haven't updated in awhile because, well, there is only one thing that is more tedious and annoying than reading about how someone is happy and content. And that is having to write about how happy and content you are. Especially if you are like me and write about as eloquently as spitting sooooooooooooooo..... I got nothin

If they knew how much I needed to be near you they wouldnt make me wait.They wouldnt hesitate. I want so much to feel you in my arms and taste your smell. Nothing can console me. Just get me there to her.Faster...dont stop. I hate everyone that gets on the train. Nothing but contempt for they make me wait. Stars to tunnel,blue bricks to red bricks scorching past. Out from the tunnel I see the reflection of the city lights in the water I want to be there. Dive Dive under the water in the reflection. Holding breathe for too long,turning as blue as the stained carpet. Ears popping jaw cracking,swallowing hard. Under the city getting closer to the land of pinatas ,burritoes....tattooed hipsters and aging shits, my home mi casa....only because she is there...my home could be anywhere,its only where I can lay next to her. At the stop that is a city in the state that is the name of my street. "I have a Dream"...my promised land lies not to far ahead...Keep your trumpets,your streets of gold, the angels that sing I have an angel of my own that lies in my bed, waiting to take me under her wing. I close my eye until 16. The miracle mile to 24, run up the stairs to my door to my love ,my life , my everlasting .

Pictures of my girlie's new tattoo and mine as well. The dates are the night we met. Hers are in ""arabic numerals. Mine in latin. She has Amor and me Fati...Put together you have the latin phrase Amor Fati. To loves one fate. THANKS TO GEORGE at EVERLASTING TATTOO in S.F.

Why cant we sever and cauterize the part of us that was left behind by someone else. When a relationship ends regardless of how, there is always a part of that person that stays with you that becomes a part of you. Years after you have physically seperated from that person they remain because they are a part of you. Sometimes it is pleasant. It brings warmth and comfort. When you meet someone or are in a situation that reminds you of a perfect time in your life. How many us have drifted off lying in our lovers lap, feeling contended and cared for and are reminded of being a child in a parents arms and having the same feelings.
Too often however what is left behind isnt pleasant, memories are strongest when they are moments of displeasure and pain. It protects us from repeating the same mistake(hopefully). It becomes a trip wire, sitting in wait until someone unknowingly sets it off. People say it is to be scarred but a scar as healed, its more like a wound that will not heal. It as only stopped bleeding and scabbed over but the slightest knock will re-open it and all the pain comes rushing back. How many parts of people make up one. And how do you strip away all what as been left behind and what would be left of that person if they did.
I hate some feelings I have because they are not based on the moment but are just echoing screams from the past and I am trired of listening to them.

ouch my head....tooo much jack not enough food........waking up knowing its still going to be 2 more days before my sweet pea gets home doesnt help much.I am goin back to bed

sometimes loving someone really sux.when someone becomes so woven into the fabric that you are as a person,when they are not there you feel like you may just unravel. it is at these moments when you realize how vulnerable you are and how your happiness, as you have become to know it, is based on the one that you love. you realize that you have been walking around with a Achille's heel.Yes to be in love,really in love, is to have a crack in ones armor.

Had a blast at the clash,strummer cover show at bottom of the hill this past saturday. Got to see some new bands and some old ones. Radio One from southern cal really put on a great show.Lots of energy and they played some orginals that went perfectly with the covers. The Avengers of course were great as well. Penelope always belts them out like it was 78 again. But it must be weird for Penelope to see her picture from like when she was 19 on some kids Tshirt. I wonder if she is so removed from that time in her life that its like looking at someone elses picture and she has to remind herself that thats actually is her.