I just re-discovered At The Drive in. What intensity! I long to make something so overwhelming. As the summer months lie just over the horizon I'm listening to a more Rage Against The Machine, At the Drive In, Flobots, Coheed & Cambria. The winters flavor for soul is slowly falling off like the hair of a dog. I wonder what will be the songs of the summer road, time at the lake. What will be tugging at my ears at barbecues, and picnics. Moreover I wonder what sounds I can find in my Garage. May all your summer songs be great.

I blazed through four sets today, and it's not nearly enough. There are so many sets that went up I'm not sure I'll ever make it through them all. I will however have fun trying. So the new photos have not gone up, nor have I did the profile update. I was getting ready to take the pics and I realized my room was a fucking mess. For some reason that became a block to my creativity. I've got at least one more journal entry to do today. I don't really like cross posting so I'm going to do something over at the livejournal. The poker room was closed down at work today, and you should see the players faces when they come in. It's like a kid finding out their birthday has been canceled. I so want to be able to split myself and do like 20 things at once, and then at the end of the day try to let my subconscious deal with all the stimulus gathered by my many. Maybe in the morning we can have a debriefing/planning coffee.

I need to update my profile and sure enough soon will. I noticed that the picture I have on my profile is like 3 years old. I'm cleaning up my room tonight and maybe doing an all dave shoot with my hyper awesome HP camera. It packs the power of 2 entire Mega Pixels, which I'm pretty sure is an infinite amount of pixels. I've been thinking about society quite intensely lately. It seems to me right now the borders of what constitutes human civilization are pretty porous, and flexible. So I'm constructing models for the world I'd like to live in. It's a fun exercise and if you are at all familiar with the metaphysical aspects of the Law of Attraction, and intent, it might just be the new Lego castle. Right now though I am just so happy to be able to be conscious.

So a mystery friend sent me a gift membership. I am super lucky. It was odd. Just before I received the email letting me know about the membership I was weighing whether or not I could afford an annual membership. I was really feeling the absence of the community of people I had met through this site. I have to catch up on who's still around and peep the happenings. But yeah, joy! Thanks mysterious benefactor.

What a day. It was beautiful outside today. My brother and I hung out for a good part of the day and it was fun. Walking to the librar, lunching, then walking up to the hospital to see our ma. It was great to be out in the sun and people on the street were awesome friendly. All that walking though and I'm afraid my feet are getting all busted up. Well I suppose that is what a winter of staying in the house watching a crapload of DVD's will get you, soft feet. There was this really cool nurse at the hospital my mom is in who was a Reiki practitioner. We got into this discussion about how Western medicine can really only either drug you, or cut you, but arrived at the conclusion that people are starting to awaken to their own wellness. My mom started the visit as usual by projectile vomiting and telling me I was not looking out for her. It was okay though by the end of the two hours I was again "Such a blessing," and so dear to her. At the begginning though she made a comment that really cut. She said "David what I want to know is when are you going to step up to the plate and be a man?" What the fuck is that supposed to mean. I know that she is in pain, and on the morphine so i try to dismiss it, but it's still pretty fucked up when the woman who brought you into this world and who you've changed your whole life to help throws a barb like that. I hope Tommorrow will be even more awesome than today. If it's minus that comment it will be. Plus tommorrow there's a show/ BBQ. The last one was a blast.

Here's an odd picture taken last christmas. It still freaks me out


l to r: me, my mom, my brother all featured in todays post

Haha, not quite a year between posts.
I'm just happy to have this moment here in SGland. I really want to write and tell eveyone whats been up with me but that might take some time, so I'll hold it till later. right now I think iwant to catch up on some of the happenings with my friends.

Finally got a computer here. My moms doing pretty good, got like another 3 weeks in the hospital learning to walk and stuff like that. I've had some fun hanging with my brother, but some times it's a bit much.

I've been feeling like this disconnect more and more often. it's kinda like i'll be going about my day and then just all if a sudden I don't feel like I belong where I am. Sometimes it's like I'm not there at all but just outside myself. Not like I'm watching myself or any thing, Just the lack of feeling present. My days have been so busy though I think I often probably just slip into a kind of auto pilot, but it's getting harder to "snap into it" Does that make any sense?

So much is going on. My mom had another stroke and for the last two weeks it's been my youngest brother and I trying to take care of business. I really need to get a computer over to her place. It's crazy, but I know we'll work it out.

**Cross posted like a mofo**

I really hesitate to endorse something so heartily, God knows I waved enough flags in my life but with all seriousness if you want to make a change, if you want a sense of something to do in this time of seeming helplessness please watch the movie The Corporation

Watch it, have your friends and your families and your churches watch it. I cannot stress how importantly I feel it is that we as a generation, a nation, a species have this discourse and begin to move forward.