My Rules for Living:
1. Don't let the sun go down on a argument, or at least, don't go to bed without resolving things. Mult-day conflict has a deeper impact than one might immediately think.
2. Love is action. Words help, but words without action can be meaningless. There is no better evidence for an emotion than demonstration.
3. Don't rely on past action as a marker for current emotion. People change. Love is a constant choice that is reiterated in this moment.
4. Asshole Principle of Driving: Other people drive like assholes. Protect yourself, give them the space to be assholes, and don't become an asshole driver yourself.
5. Pay it forward when you drive- if someone lets you into the line of cars, thank them. Then let someone else in
6. Use your indicator! I don't care if you call it a blinker, a turn-signal or whatever, it's that little stick next to your steering wheel, the one that doesn't make your wipers come on. It's a courtesty to other drivers.
7. Other people are assholes. Don't become one of them. If you're lucky, you might find one person who isn't an asshole. Treasure them and make a little anti-asshole zone.
8. Protect the weak and speak up for those who don't have a voice. Fight injustice wherever you see it, even if it doesn't affect you or if it "isn't your battle". Say something.
9. Random/Specific Compliment Theory: Modern society is a compliment-poor environment. Often people aren't regularly complimented and they may do things to recieve praise, or alternatively, give praise to get other people to do things. That's not right- human beings need frequent and sincere compliments, without a hidden agenda or an expected response. People need to hear that they're great and wonderful just being themselves. So compliment other people randomly and sincerely. Compliment your friends for specific things. Pass on the joy you feel when someone recognizes your achievements to other people, even if their only achievement for today is just being themselves. Getting out of bed this morning is enough of a victory.
10. If in doubt, make a decision one way or the other. Either your intuition (if you're lucky enough to have such a thing) or consequences will tell you if you were right or wrong. If you were wrong, admit it, make another decision to make things right and get on with it.
11. "Charge them and they will scatter." Much can be accomplished from a positive and confident attitude and a purposeful stance. If you act like you know what you're doing, people assume you're an expert. Also carry a clipboard or a notebook- it looks more official that way.
12. The truth is always somewhere in the middle, somewhere between my version of the truth and your version. Work to find a common ground.
13. A life unexamined is not a life worth living. Examine yourself first and be sure of your strengths and your weakness. Listen to others, but also be your own best judge and character witness. Don't compare yourself to others, for sometimes you'll find yourself wanting and sometimes, you'll get a big head if you think you're better than them.
14. Don't back down. Be reliable. Be truthful, especially to yourself.
15. Human beings are social creatures. We all have a certain responsibility to each other. Our actions have consequences and we need to be aware of that. Just because every person is responsible for their own emotional responses and reactions, doesn't mean we have carte blanche to treat other people in a selfish fashion. Instead, we need to be aware that our actions are likely to promote certain reactions from other people and to choose our actions carefully. In general, we have a responsibility to not leave other people in a worse position at the end of a conversation/interaction. This also means that sometimes, despite our own instincts, we need to consider others. This doesn't mean meeting their specific needs or pandering to them, but rather working together for the whole.
1. Don't let the sun go down on a argument, or at least, don't go to bed without resolving things. Mult-day conflict has a deeper impact than one might immediately think.
2. Love is action. Words help, but words without action can be meaningless. There is no better evidence for an emotion than demonstration.
3. Don't rely on past action as a marker for current emotion. People change. Love is a constant choice that is reiterated in this moment.
4. Asshole Principle of Driving: Other people drive like assholes. Protect yourself, give them the space to be assholes, and don't become an asshole driver yourself.
5. Pay it forward when you drive- if someone lets you into the line of cars, thank them. Then let someone else in
6. Use your indicator! I don't care if you call it a blinker, a turn-signal or whatever, it's that little stick next to your steering wheel, the one that doesn't make your wipers come on. It's a courtesty to other drivers.
7. Other people are assholes. Don't become one of them. If you're lucky, you might find one person who isn't an asshole. Treasure them and make a little anti-asshole zone.
8. Protect the weak and speak up for those who don't have a voice. Fight injustice wherever you see it, even if it doesn't affect you or if it "isn't your battle". Say something.
9. Random/Specific Compliment Theory: Modern society is a compliment-poor environment. Often people aren't regularly complimented and they may do things to recieve praise, or alternatively, give praise to get other people to do things. That's not right- human beings need frequent and sincere compliments, without a hidden agenda or an expected response. People need to hear that they're great and wonderful just being themselves. So compliment other people randomly and sincerely. Compliment your friends for specific things. Pass on the joy you feel when someone recognizes your achievements to other people, even if their only achievement for today is just being themselves. Getting out of bed this morning is enough of a victory.
10. If in doubt, make a decision one way or the other. Either your intuition (if you're lucky enough to have such a thing) or consequences will tell you if you were right or wrong. If you were wrong, admit it, make another decision to make things right and get on with it.
11. "Charge them and they will scatter." Much can be accomplished from a positive and confident attitude and a purposeful stance. If you act like you know what you're doing, people assume you're an expert. Also carry a clipboard or a notebook- it looks more official that way.
12. The truth is always somewhere in the middle, somewhere between my version of the truth and your version. Work to find a common ground.
13. A life unexamined is not a life worth living. Examine yourself first and be sure of your strengths and your weakness. Listen to others, but also be your own best judge and character witness. Don't compare yourself to others, for sometimes you'll find yourself wanting and sometimes, you'll get a big head if you think you're better than them.
14. Don't back down. Be reliable. Be truthful, especially to yourself.
15. Human beings are social creatures. We all have a certain responsibility to each other. Our actions have consequences and we need to be aware of that. Just because every person is responsible for their own emotional responses and reactions, doesn't mean we have carte blanche to treat other people in a selfish fashion. Instead, we need to be aware that our actions are likely to promote certain reactions from other people and to choose our actions carefully. In general, we have a responsibility to not leave other people in a worse position at the end of a conversation/interaction. This also means that sometimes, despite our own instincts, we need to consider others. This doesn't mean meeting their specific needs or pandering to them, but rather working together for the whole.
Rebuild... reinvent... start over.
so I've been trying out Match.com for a couple of months now and seem to be an all-around failure at it. I still haven't figured out if 'winking' at someone is rude or not- I mean, I'd never 'wink' at someone in real life, and the image I have of a 'winker' (replace 'i' with 'a') is a gold-chain-wearing guido (apologies to the fine citizens of New Jersey's Atlantic Shore), cocking his finger like a gun and firing with a 'chck' noise as he 'winks'. Even though one of my friends says it's just like smiling at someone, it just seems lascivious and lecherous.
I seem to be running up against a couple of issues. In general, it's not the website, but rather the people on it. Firstly, Match seems to suffer from the same guy=pursuer/girl=pursuee socialized roles that exist IRL, which I'd hoped would be superceded on the 'net. Apparently, it's supposedly not proper for girls to contact guys, so just like real life, guys are expected to put themselves out there and take chances. Why doesn't everyone do it? I mean, here we are in the Century of the Fruit Bat, and on the internet, and yet the same antiquated thinking persists.
The same gender socialization may be at the center of my second issue with Match- in my antiquated and perhaps honourable mind, if you're not interested in someone, you should have the courtesy to tell them. The website allows you to send a polite, generic, rejection message that somehow (at least to me) makes me feel like less of a reject than when someone doesn't answer my emails or 'winks'. Not that I've been brave enough to email more than two people (I have winked at about five women). Only one person ever had the kindness or courtesy to send me a 'No, Thanks' message, and I really do appreciate that. Also, if you start something with someone and it isn't working out, cowboy up and end it appropriately. It's the least I would do.
The other issue I have is somehow both with the people and the website. I'd like to see a function on Match that enables me to search for only people looking for a particular ethnicity (or ethnicities, since I'm so much more than just one). I have to scroll down on every portrait/profile to find out 'who' people are looking for and it's a little bit frustrating. Here's my other position on ethnicity- Match allows you to see who's been viewing your profile. Somehow, 40-50% of the women who've checked me out, unsolicited BTW, have been looking for (at least according to their profiles) 'white/caucasian' men- that's not me. You can tell from my profile pic- that's not just a tan, you know. If you're so limited in your outlook (and I will admit that my searching is not completely open to everyone), why are you looking at me? I know I'm cute, but ladies, please. Open your minds and reflect this on your profiles or stop blowing me up!
The final issue I have with Match is my own fault. I will admit that. I just want to say it somewhere, ie here, so that it's been said. There aren't a lot of options on Match for me within a 50 mile radius, and it's because I live in one of the nine rings of dating hell. I am a well-educated, cosmopolitan, professional living in a small city in a backwards state (one of those places that is fond of the phrases 'bass-ackwards' and 'bless his/her heart'). I should probably move, or become less smart.
or not.
Part of the problem is my inherent 'in-between-ness' (I can't think of any better phrase right now)- I live in between categories. I am part-Bad Boy (or at least I hope so) and part-Brainiac, part-slacker and part-go-getter. I'm an intellectual who rides motorbikes, a jazz fan who likes country music. I don't fall into anyone else's categories and here in the South, they're all about categories. And so, unless I find someone else 'in-between', I'm likely to always be outside- never part of one group or another.
I'm not going to change (and neither should you), and so reinvention of myself, my interests, my personality is not an option. But my attitude can change, and it will. I won't let the lack of options get to me, and yet I won't shut down either. I will remain open to meeting that other in-betweener, and maybe someday soon, they'll see my flickering candle in this sea of mediocrity and I'll see theirs. 'Til then, the search (and the struggle) continue- a challenge rather than a barrier. Aluta Continua
so I've been trying out Match.com for a couple of months now and seem to be an all-around failure at it. I still haven't figured out if 'winking' at someone is rude or not- I mean, I'd never 'wink' at someone in real life, and the image I have of a 'winker' (replace 'i' with 'a') is a gold-chain-wearing guido (apologies to the fine citizens of New Jersey's Atlantic Shore), cocking his finger like a gun and firing with a 'chck' noise as he 'winks'. Even though one of my friends says it's just like smiling at someone, it just seems lascivious and lecherous.
I seem to be running up against a couple of issues. In general, it's not the website, but rather the people on it. Firstly, Match seems to suffer from the same guy=pursuer/girl=pursuee socialized roles that exist IRL, which I'd hoped would be superceded on the 'net. Apparently, it's supposedly not proper for girls to contact guys, so just like real life, guys are expected to put themselves out there and take chances. Why doesn't everyone do it? I mean, here we are in the Century of the Fruit Bat, and on the internet, and yet the same antiquated thinking persists.
The same gender socialization may be at the center of my second issue with Match- in my antiquated and perhaps honourable mind, if you're not interested in someone, you should have the courtesy to tell them. The website allows you to send a polite, generic, rejection message that somehow (at least to me) makes me feel like less of a reject than when someone doesn't answer my emails or 'winks'. Not that I've been brave enough to email more than two people (I have winked at about five women). Only one person ever had the kindness or courtesy to send me a 'No, Thanks' message, and I really do appreciate that. Also, if you start something with someone and it isn't working out, cowboy up and end it appropriately. It's the least I would do.
The other issue I have is somehow both with the people and the website. I'd like to see a function on Match that enables me to search for only people looking for a particular ethnicity (or ethnicities, since I'm so much more than just one). I have to scroll down on every portrait/profile to find out 'who' people are looking for and it's a little bit frustrating. Here's my other position on ethnicity- Match allows you to see who's been viewing your profile. Somehow, 40-50% of the women who've checked me out, unsolicited BTW, have been looking for (at least according to their profiles) 'white/caucasian' men- that's not me. You can tell from my profile pic- that's not just a tan, you know. If you're so limited in your outlook (and I will admit that my searching is not completely open to everyone), why are you looking at me? I know I'm cute, but ladies, please. Open your minds and reflect this on your profiles or stop blowing me up!
The final issue I have with Match is my own fault. I will admit that. I just want to say it somewhere, ie here, so that it's been said. There aren't a lot of options on Match for me within a 50 mile radius, and it's because I live in one of the nine rings of dating hell. I am a well-educated, cosmopolitan, professional living in a small city in a backwards state (one of those places that is fond of the phrases 'bass-ackwards' and 'bless his/her heart'). I should probably move, or become less smart.
or not.
Part of the problem is my inherent 'in-between-ness' (I can't think of any better phrase right now)- I live in between categories. I am part-Bad Boy (or at least I hope so) and part-Brainiac, part-slacker and part-go-getter. I'm an intellectual who rides motorbikes, a jazz fan who likes country music. I don't fall into anyone else's categories and here in the South, they're all about categories. And so, unless I find someone else 'in-between', I'm likely to always be outside- never part of one group or another.
I'm not going to change (and neither should you), and so reinvention of myself, my interests, my personality is not an option. But my attitude can change, and it will. I won't let the lack of options get to me, and yet I won't shut down either. I will remain open to meeting that other in-betweener, and maybe someday soon, they'll see my flickering candle in this sea of mediocrity and I'll see theirs. 'Til then, the search (and the struggle) continue- a challenge rather than a barrier. Aluta Continua
SO it's been a while since I last found something that I would even consider calling the New Hotness...
until, unexpectedly last night it (kind of) came to me- geeks are the new hotness. As in 'Chuck' and 'Big Bang Theory', this seems to be the Year of the Geek. Sounds good to me- hopefully, more women will come to realise that geeks like me make better lovers and better partners, and come to appreciate the unique combination of skills, interests and experiences that I bring to siuations and relationships.
But before I go to far down this road, I got distracted last night, by the thing/entity/objet that I have decided is the latest, actual, New Hotness, namely Christina Applegate's new sitcom "Samantha Who?". In case you haven't seen it (I sure as hell wasn't looking for it), CA plays a young woman who's recently come out of an eght-day coma with retrograde amnesia, and must get to know herself and her life again. As she progresses through this journey, she finds out that the person she was before wasn't necessarily the most nice or ethical person- a cheating, alcoholic, pretentious, unkind biatch- and the amnesia provides an opportunity to rebuild herself as a good person. Even if it involves moving in with her parents again.
I enjoyed the first episode - the program promises an opportunity for a key lesson- that personal reinvention is possible, that we make choices each day to be who were are and that we can change. Also, Applegate looked hot in her pajamas, and I think that she's a great actress who has come a long, long way from Married with Children.
Hope you enjoy it too
until, unexpectedly last night it (kind of) came to me- geeks are the new hotness. As in 'Chuck' and 'Big Bang Theory', this seems to be the Year of the Geek. Sounds good to me- hopefully, more women will come to realise that geeks like me make better lovers and better partners, and come to appreciate the unique combination of skills, interests and experiences that I bring to siuations and relationships.
But before I go to far down this road, I got distracted last night, by the thing/entity/objet that I have decided is the latest, actual, New Hotness, namely Christina Applegate's new sitcom "Samantha Who?". In case you haven't seen it (I sure as hell wasn't looking for it), CA plays a young woman who's recently come out of an eght-day coma with retrograde amnesia, and must get to know herself and her life again. As she progresses through this journey, she finds out that the person she was before wasn't necessarily the most nice or ethical person- a cheating, alcoholic, pretentious, unkind biatch- and the amnesia provides an opportunity to rebuild herself as a good person. Even if it involves moving in with her parents again.
I enjoyed the first episode - the program promises an opportunity for a key lesson- that personal reinvention is possible, that we make choices each day to be who were are and that we can change. Also, Applegate looked hot in her pajamas, and I think that she's a great actress who has come a long, long way from Married with Children.
Hope you enjoy it too
I read Bitch PhD's article today and had an immediate, violent and enduring reaction. In her piece she warned readers not to view the embedded video and though it was disturbing in a way I'm glad I ignored that piece of advice. I think I might not have had the reaction and ended up caring about the issue as much as I do now if I hadn't watched that video
It made me so angry and sickened me. II don't really know what to say or where to start- any person who needs to physically and verbally abuse someone/anyone to feel dominant and/or strong is, at the heart of it, an infinitely weak person and has relinquished their humanity. I have a temper and often make incorrect assumptions about other people's behavior, and I know that I am quick to anger especially when I assume that someone close to me has wronged me. I am only capable of truly expressing that anger to one person and yet I have never/would never raise a hand to her (or anyone else) or even verbally abused her. I can't even call people names. Don't get me wrong- I'm not a saint, and when I'm mad, I'll curse you up a mountain and down a valley. However, some years ago I realized that my past was filled with things I'd said that I could never take back. I learnt to label people's behavior rather than to make personal slurs, to frame even those value judgements as my own and not statements of (supposedly) unassailable fact.
It made me sick and worried for the two women in my life for whom I care the most. I phoned my ex and in my own bumbling, rambling way told her that if anyone ever hurt her, that I would act immediaely and without compulsion to protect her. Luckily, despite the fact that we're broken up, my ex knows me well and knows she can trust me completely in this regard. She can rely on my help, my support and my action and perhaps it is a sign of the surety of my character that she accepted this without question.
I phoned up my friend R and left a message. I can only hope she took it coming from the place that I intended, one where I really care for her. She doesn't know me as well and may not understand where this is coming from. I probably sounded like a sentimental fool on the message and she probably thinks I'm a condescending chauvinist prick, but I hope the message I wanted to send got through. Set in stone- if anyone hurts you, my first instinct is to protect you and my second is to make them go away by whatever means necessary.
Probably being melodramatic, but I'm wound up for action now- SG posters have suggested some strategies and I intend to follow through.
It made me so angry and sickened me. II don't really know what to say or where to start- any person who needs to physically and verbally abuse someone/anyone to feel dominant and/or strong is, at the heart of it, an infinitely weak person and has relinquished their humanity. I have a temper and often make incorrect assumptions about other people's behavior, and I know that I am quick to anger especially when I assume that someone close to me has wronged me. I am only capable of truly expressing that anger to one person and yet I have never/would never raise a hand to her (or anyone else) or even verbally abused her. I can't even call people names. Don't get me wrong- I'm not a saint, and when I'm mad, I'll curse you up a mountain and down a valley. However, some years ago I realized that my past was filled with things I'd said that I could never take back. I learnt to label people's behavior rather than to make personal slurs, to frame even those value judgements as my own and not statements of (supposedly) unassailable fact.
It made me sick and worried for the two women in my life for whom I care the most. I phoned my ex and in my own bumbling, rambling way told her that if anyone ever hurt her, that I would act immediaely and without compulsion to protect her. Luckily, despite the fact that we're broken up, my ex knows me well and knows she can trust me completely in this regard. She can rely on my help, my support and my action and perhaps it is a sign of the surety of my character that she accepted this without question.
I phoned up my friend R and left a message. I can only hope she took it coming from the place that I intended, one where I really care for her. She doesn't know me as well and may not understand where this is coming from. I probably sounded like a sentimental fool on the message and she probably thinks I'm a condescending chauvinist prick, but I hope the message I wanted to send got through. Set in stone- if anyone hurts you, my first instinct is to protect you and my second is to make them go away by whatever means necessary.
Probably being melodramatic, but I'm wound up for action now- SG posters have suggested some strategies and I intend to follow through.
So I don't feel like working, even though I have to, because I've been sick for about four days and need to catch up. I'm trying to tell myself that if I do a bit here and there, interspersed with some creative stuff, then I'm making a dent in the mountain of work, but it feels like i'm close to being buried in an avalanche. It's almost as if I'm digging ahead of me as the tunnel collapses behind me.
But anyhoo... I thought that a bit of random pontification might help block out the looming vulture (think of Schultz's cartoons of Snoopy in a tree) of responsibility. So here are my thoughts about cyberpunk-
1. The next major transhuman/cyberpunk breakthrough will come from the former Soviet Union
I've said this before- I can't remember where, but I think I put it somewhere on the 'net so that it would survive me. That in itself is a curious idea- that something virtual will live on and survive something physical, kind of like the old African proverb about how you aren't dead so long as someone remembers you.
But beyond that, here are my thoughts behind that statement- the current mindset of the former Soviet Union seems to place lower value on human life than other industrialized nations. I perceive this mindset to be endemic and probably the result of both the Communist era and the subsequent kratocracy,The same thing maybe said about South Africa save for the fact that South African is less industrialized, and in that case, the lesser value placed on human life stems from 40 plus years of apartheid.
Coupled with this approach to human life, the advanced technological and criminal culture in the former Soviet Union provides a fertile breeding ground for technologically-oriented body modification. The next major transhuman/cyberpunk breakthrough will probably be some form of implant and it will come from behind a new Iron Curtain.
2. My mods
For some reason these have been on my mind more of late- I've been thinking more and more about body modification as self-definition. Perhaps this is because I've been feeling more pressure by work and life both.
I'm thinking of getting 2 sets of paired microdermals behind my ears, with screw-in rare earth magnet fasteners. That way I can attach the other side of each fastener to accessories, like my sunglasses, headphones etc. I'm also thinking about a scar running from just above my forehead down my cheek. Plus more tattoos- a backpiece and shoulder set. I've designed the backpiece, but have to break it up into logically balanced and affordable sections. I still have to design the shoulder set (kind of like shoulder armour- not a sleeve).
3. Fashion
My sense of style has always been oriented to black clothing, usually made from a technical fabric, with some sort of additional function. At the very least, I have to have lots of pockets- I call it the 'Data' effect (from the kid in The Goonies). It goes beyond Goth- I have no time for superfluous details like lace and velvet- give me Kevlar and leather. I like military-inspired gear, understated (low chrome-factor) biker gear, and a lot of technical outdoor clothing. Oakley (the sunglass people) produce a lot of cutting edge clothing and backpacks etc. Even their sunglasses are cutting edge- I got hooked on those first.
Anyway, those are some of the things about me that are somewhat cyberpunk, and some of my thoughts about the meme (not just a genre). Remember- attitude is everything.
But anyhoo... I thought that a bit of random pontification might help block out the looming vulture (think of Schultz's cartoons of Snoopy in a tree) of responsibility. So here are my thoughts about cyberpunk-
1. The next major transhuman/cyberpunk breakthrough will come from the former Soviet Union
I've said this before- I can't remember where, but I think I put it somewhere on the 'net so that it would survive me. That in itself is a curious idea- that something virtual will live on and survive something physical, kind of like the old African proverb about how you aren't dead so long as someone remembers you.
But beyond that, here are my thoughts behind that statement- the current mindset of the former Soviet Union seems to place lower value on human life than other industrialized nations. I perceive this mindset to be endemic and probably the result of both the Communist era and the subsequent kratocracy,The same thing maybe said about South Africa save for the fact that South African is less industrialized, and in that case, the lesser value placed on human life stems from 40 plus years of apartheid.
Coupled with this approach to human life, the advanced technological and criminal culture in the former Soviet Union provides a fertile breeding ground for technologically-oriented body modification. The next major transhuman/cyberpunk breakthrough will probably be some form of implant and it will come from behind a new Iron Curtain.
2. My mods
For some reason these have been on my mind more of late- I've been thinking more and more about body modification as self-definition. Perhaps this is because I've been feeling more pressure by work and life both.
I'm thinking of getting 2 sets of paired microdermals behind my ears, with screw-in rare earth magnet fasteners. That way I can attach the other side of each fastener to accessories, like my sunglasses, headphones etc. I'm also thinking about a scar running from just above my forehead down my cheek. Plus more tattoos- a backpiece and shoulder set. I've designed the backpiece, but have to break it up into logically balanced and affordable sections. I still have to design the shoulder set (kind of like shoulder armour- not a sleeve).
3. Fashion
My sense of style has always been oriented to black clothing, usually made from a technical fabric, with some sort of additional function. At the very least, I have to have lots of pockets- I call it the 'Data' effect (from the kid in The Goonies). It goes beyond Goth- I have no time for superfluous details like lace and velvet- give me Kevlar and leather. I like military-inspired gear, understated (low chrome-factor) biker gear, and a lot of technical outdoor clothing. Oakley (the sunglass people) produce a lot of cutting edge clothing and backpacks etc. Even their sunglasses are cutting edge- I got hooked on those first.
Anyway, those are some of the things about me that are somewhat cyberpunk, and some of my thoughts about the meme (not just a genre). Remember- attitude is everything.
i am the New Hotness.
Me...
I am the New Hotness in a general sense because I am me, but I am also the New Hotness specifically this week because I have managed to survive (and will continue to do so) by being me. In general, I am the new hotness despite the fact that none here seem to recognise it, because amongst other things I am the second smartest person I know. Well, actually I'm tied for the second smartest person I know. The smartest person I know, maybe too smart for his own good, and is definitely too smart for the world around him, and I (and the the other second smartest person) may both suffer (to a lesser extent) from the same issue. She's definitely too smart for my good, but that's a different issue. I read a lot, and I read a wide variety of topics, so I can hold up my end of a conversation pretty well. No scratch that... to paraphrase Rudyard Kipling, I can talk to paupers and kings equally well. I'm actually very good at conversations and when necessary I can be funny also. I have a great sense of humor.
I'm also pretty good looking. I know this because this morning an elderly woman and her even more elderly mother told me this as I held the door for them. Her words this morning were that I was a nice young man and i was "nice-looking, too." It made me laugh all the way home. But I know this anyway- I just don't have a look that's typical for here. I dress well also- in fact again, somewhat more stylishly than those who live around me. I can pull off a classic look that is somewhere in between, mid-Atlantic even. I have a great sense of style that extends beyond fashion- I have a good eye for design and my house is again somewhere in between eclectic and minimalist.
I care about things- about people, music, art, nature, beauty, the ocean, about the environment in general and about the future. I try to be sensitive to other people also, and one day someone will be there to appreciate this.
Specifically, I'm the New Hotness, because I've done a really good job for the past four months and for the past week. I haven't (to quote R) 'Fruck out' too badly and I'm still here. I've had to bear work stress and relationship stress and I'm still here. I've had my heart broken and I've moved on. I've faltered here and there, but I've maintained forward motion and I'm still here. I am the New Hotness.
Me...
I am the New Hotness in a general sense because I am me, but I am also the New Hotness specifically this week because I have managed to survive (and will continue to do so) by being me. In general, I am the new hotness despite the fact that none here seem to recognise it, because amongst other things I am the second smartest person I know. Well, actually I'm tied for the second smartest person I know. The smartest person I know, maybe too smart for his own good, and is definitely too smart for the world around him, and I (and the the other second smartest person) may both suffer (to a lesser extent) from the same issue. She's definitely too smart for my good, but that's a different issue. I read a lot, and I read a wide variety of topics, so I can hold up my end of a conversation pretty well. No scratch that... to paraphrase Rudyard Kipling, I can talk to paupers and kings equally well. I'm actually very good at conversations and when necessary I can be funny also. I have a great sense of humor.
I'm also pretty good looking. I know this because this morning an elderly woman and her even more elderly mother told me this as I held the door for them. Her words this morning were that I was a nice young man and i was "nice-looking, too." It made me laugh all the way home. But I know this anyway- I just don't have a look that's typical for here. I dress well also- in fact again, somewhat more stylishly than those who live around me. I can pull off a classic look that is somewhere in between, mid-Atlantic even. I have a great sense of style that extends beyond fashion- I have a good eye for design and my house is again somewhere in between eclectic and minimalist.
I care about things- about people, music, art, nature, beauty, the ocean, about the environment in general and about the future. I try to be sensitive to other people also, and one day someone will be there to appreciate this.
Specifically, I'm the New Hotness, because I've done a really good job for the past four months and for the past week. I haven't (to quote R) 'Fruck out' too badly and I'm still here. I've had to bear work stress and relationship stress and I'm still here. I've had my heart broken and I've moved on. I've faltered here and there, but I've maintained forward motion and I'm still here. I am the New Hotness.
It's been six weeks since my last confessional, um, I mean blog post. I really wanted to post every week and declare something the New Hotness each week, but alas, things have been a bit ('ow do ze nerds say eet) 'meh'. Partly it's my fault- I've been a bit depro and haven't really found anything worthwhile, so my standards for something/someone to declare the New Hotness have increased- and partly it's the environment, i.e. nothing out there has been interesting enough. It's not like I've been hiding away (at least not from new experiences)- I've been from Baton Rouge, LA, to East Lansing, MI, from Savannah, GA to Long Island, NYC - and I've seen every major movie release in the past six weeks, but nothing was ever amazing enough to pop up above the clouds. Some stuff came close, like sunrise on Tybee Island and breakfast by myself while reading my new book on Zen, or The Bourne Ultimatum, and some stuff made me laugh, like going to Lighthouse Beach on Fire Island with my former-future mother-in-law (as in she used to be my future mother-in-law) and seeing her bug out at all the naked people, and watching her belly-dance drunk at her daughter's birthday party. But over all, it's been a pretty mediocre time.
I'm doing my best to snap out of my slump, and something that always seems to help center me a little (unlike the Ocean which helps center me a lot, and makes my problems seem insignificant in it's vastness) is reading PostSecret. For those of you who don't know, PostSecret.blogspot.com is the current incarnation of a online community art project in which people anonymously mail in their secrets on postcards. Postcards reveal all sorts of secrets, both good and bad, serious and goofy. I have one friend, who like me, reads them every week, and another for whom the postcards are too poignant and emotional. I like reading them because some of them are happy and some of them are sad, but reading them makes me feel a little bit more human, like my problems aren't abnormal.
Typically, Frank Warren, the project's creator and curator, posts 20 postcards each week. However this week he posted a PostSecret video, the first that I'd ever seen.
For me it was an eye-opener. The combination of music and visuals really touched me, and following the Youtube link revealed a couple of other videos in which people had collected PostSecret cards (e.g. around Love) and put them to music. I think this is an absolutely superb idea. The addition of carefully-chosen music increases the poignancy.
In other Postsecret-related ramblings, I've started writing my own postcards. Not really secrets per se, though some of them are, but just my feelings about one person in my life for whom I have a number of unresolved feelings. It's helping me cope and helping me deal with some of the issues that I'm depressed about. So, for all the differing impact it's having on my life, PostSecret is the New Hotness.
I'm doing my best to snap out of my slump, and something that always seems to help center me a little (unlike the Ocean which helps center me a lot, and makes my problems seem insignificant in it's vastness) is reading PostSecret. For those of you who don't know, PostSecret.blogspot.com is the current incarnation of a online community art project in which people anonymously mail in their secrets on postcards. Postcards reveal all sorts of secrets, both good and bad, serious and goofy. I have one friend, who like me, reads them every week, and another for whom the postcards are too poignant and emotional. I like reading them because some of them are happy and some of them are sad, but reading them makes me feel a little bit more human, like my problems aren't abnormal.
Typically, Frank Warren, the project's creator and curator, posts 20 postcards each week. However this week he posted a PostSecret video, the first that I'd ever seen.
For me it was an eye-opener. The combination of music and visuals really touched me, and following the Youtube link revealed a couple of other videos in which people had collected PostSecret cards (e.g. around Love) and put them to music. I think this is an absolutely superb idea. The addition of carefully-chosen music increases the poignancy.
In other Postsecret-related ramblings, I've started writing my own postcards. Not really secrets per se, though some of them are, but just my feelings about one person in my life for whom I have a number of unresolved feelings. It's helping me cope and helping me deal with some of the issues that I'm depressed about. So, for all the differing impact it's having on my life, PostSecret is the New Hotness.
Transformers is the New Hotness...
There, I said it ... and now I wait for imaginary fanboys to rip my post to shreds...
...
...
Ok, so far so good. I've actually been waiting for three weeks to write this post, because I knew I'd enjoy the film from before I started writing on this blog. I saw the movie last week, courtesy of my friend and her cousin who apparently always has the hook-up for radio station movie advance showings. Sure I had to wait in line with some giant fanboys (in stature, not in geek fanaticism) who played their PSPs and didn't interact with each other, and a bunch of kids patently too young to appreciate either the current opportunity to see 'robots in disguise', or the nostalgia of Saturday morning cartoons from the 80's, but it was still well worth it.
There, I said it ... and now I wait for imaginary fanboys to rip my post to shreds...
...
...
Ok, so far so good. I've actually been waiting for three weeks to write this post, because I knew I'd enjoy the film from before I started writing on this blog. I saw the movie last week, courtesy of my friend and her cousin who apparently always has the hook-up for radio station movie advance showings. Sure I had to wait in line with some giant fanboys (in stature, not in geek fanaticism) who played their PSPs and didn't interact with each other, and a bunch of kids patently too young to appreciate either the current opportunity to see 'robots in disguise', or the nostalgia of Saturday morning cartoons from the 80's, but it was still well worth it.
I enjoyed the film and would watch it again. Being able to see it early and with my friend was an added bonus on an already adventurous trip, where I was able to eat some great food and see some coast that I hadn't seen before. The context of Transformers as much as the content are what make it this week's New Hotness
