Hmmm... An update from li'l ol' me. Nothing terribly profound lately, other than the fact that Christmas is still hard. It's been fifteen years since my brother died, and there are times when it seems like yesterday. My family has long traditions for holidays, and every time one rolls around, it's a reminder of what we've lost. This is not to say that holidays are miserable, but we make an effort to remember him and the others we've lost over the years. It's never been a religious holiday for any of us, but we've got at least five generations on both sides' worth of tradition. So we do what we can to honor their memories.
Some personal issues as of late, but overall, my quality of life seems to be slowly improving. I've started to realize that I am in control of what happens to me (for the most part), and it's a good feeling. Now just to point myself in a direction where I can not only have a great life for myself, but more importantly, help those around me fulfill their wildest hopes and dreams. Those that know me are often surprised that I'm an optimist, but I have to be. Been through many levels of hell, but I always manage to come out in one piece. Never thought I was that resilient, but it looks like I am. It's comforting in many ways.
Probably one of the best things in my life lately is the fact that I'm mostly off-the-market, as it were. There's an irony in the fact that I've been doing web stuff since '94, but only recently have I gotten involved with online communities. Met an incredible girl in Cali, and we'll be meeting in April. So odd to be able to type at someone for hours on end, day in and day out, and always have something new to talk about and learn of each other. Phone's not bad, either. Obviously we're not "exclusive" at this point, but there's hope for the first time since 2001. Last girlfriend ended up with a perjury conviction after attacking me, so I've been sorta gun-shy about getting involved with anyone else seriously. But this is looking to be deeply satisfying...
Life is good.
- gordon
Some personal issues as of late, but overall, my quality of life seems to be slowly improving. I've started to realize that I am in control of what happens to me (for the most part), and it's a good feeling. Now just to point myself in a direction where I can not only have a great life for myself, but more importantly, help those around me fulfill their wildest hopes and dreams. Those that know me are often surprised that I'm an optimist, but I have to be. Been through many levels of hell, but I always manage to come out in one piece. Never thought I was that resilient, but it looks like I am. It's comforting in many ways.
Probably one of the best things in my life lately is the fact that I'm mostly off-the-market, as it were. There's an irony in the fact that I've been doing web stuff since '94, but only recently have I gotten involved with online communities. Met an incredible girl in Cali, and we'll be meeting in April. So odd to be able to type at someone for hours on end, day in and day out, and always have something new to talk about and learn of each other. Phone's not bad, either. Obviously we're not "exclusive" at this point, but there's hope for the first time since 2001. Last girlfriend ended up with a perjury conviction after attacking me, so I've been sorta gun-shy about getting involved with anyone else seriously. But this is looking to be deeply satisfying...
Life is good.
- gordon
My, I just love being bipolar! (insert unnecessary sarcasm here). I think I've figured out why I haven't been to any SG PDX events yet. I'm getting tired of new people basing their first impression of me on an episode. Haven't been baseline enough in the past several months to do anything fun with new folks. Been out a few times to Noir and Sinferno, but nothing private. It'd be nice to finally meet some of the folks here...
I am glad I found my way to Portland, but it's been a long and educational process realizing this. I have to deal with a lot of things most people don't, and it obviously affects how I see the world. Never used to have a nightlife of any kind, and moving here allowed me to discover that. There's nothing in Humboldt, and my Bay Area life was severely restricted 'cause of how few people I really knew. Grew up there, but most of my friends moved away and I was in no position to meet new ones. Coming to Portland forced me to start over and make a new life for myself. If I hadn't lost two years from being (I suppose) inadvertently abused by the mental health system here, I'd be much further along and probably happier.
Still, I'm glad to have a chance to start over again. I've met some incredible people and am making good friends. Taking things slow out of necessity, but it's better that way, for me at least. The potential here for everything is amazing to me. Work, education, friends, love, growth, all is in one place for the first time in my life. Let's just hope I can do something with the opportunities...
- gordon
I am glad I found my way to Portland, but it's been a long and educational process realizing this. I have to deal with a lot of things most people don't, and it obviously affects how I see the world. Never used to have a nightlife of any kind, and moving here allowed me to discover that. There's nothing in Humboldt, and my Bay Area life was severely restricted 'cause of how few people I really knew. Grew up there, but most of my friends moved away and I was in no position to meet new ones. Coming to Portland forced me to start over and make a new life for myself. If I hadn't lost two years from being (I suppose) inadvertently abused by the mental health system here, I'd be much further along and probably happier.
Still, I'm glad to have a chance to start over again. I've met some incredible people and am making good friends. Taking things slow out of necessity, but it's better that way, for me at least. The potential here for everything is amazing to me. Work, education, friends, love, growth, all is in one place for the first time in my life. Let's just hope I can do something with the opportunities...
- gordon
Hmmmmm.... Long time, no journal... Not that nothing has happened, but I really don't know where to start. School is going pretty well, and there's not a day goes by that isn't humbling in some way. I was in college from '88-'96, and going back after ten years is a real eye-opener. Who'd have imagined that students would have to turn off cell phones in class? They just weren't ubiquitous back then...
I've met some incredible people, and am now having a life I haven't known since the mid-90s. It's different, though, 'cause I have ten years of "real-life" work experience, and applying that to college is very odd. It's nice to know my work ethic is of use here. but so much is new. Have spoken with my advisor, and it turns out that there are only two schools in Oregon that offer my MFA program, SOC in Ashland and University of Portland. I'm going (eventually) for an MFA in technical theater so I can teach collegiate.
I was invited to teach a sound design workshop in California a few years back, and I loved it. I know I can't teach as faculty in any Oregon college without an MFA, but that doesn't mean I can't make my information available now. So, I'm putting together a web site based on my earlier class and the syllabi I developed for the Cal State system. It still amazes me (not in a particularly good way) that there are no colleges or universities that have classes in my area of theatrical design. I'm good at what I do, and I'm self-taught.
Feels weird being a member of the PDX group here and not having gone out for any events yet. Then again, I haven't been out anywhere since Genitorturers at Dante's in October. Class hasn't really given me time. I'm hoping the two can meet halfway so I can enjoy the friends I've made so far (and hopefully meeting many more), and be able to incorporate my school friends as well. They're mostly younger, and not able to hit clubs like I do on occasion, but I know many from both worlds would appreciate each other. So I'm optimistic. Now that I've decided to stay in Portland, I want to enjoy all it has to offer. I don't plan to look for a "real" job, 'cause it's been made clear that I can make a very happy living doing contract work with the theatre unions. Great pay, obnoxious hours, but not a 9-5 leash. Four or five days at 12-18 hours, and then two weeks off. I can do this...
- k
I've met some incredible people, and am now having a life I haven't known since the mid-90s. It's different, though, 'cause I have ten years of "real-life" work experience, and applying that to college is very odd. It's nice to know my work ethic is of use here. but so much is new. Have spoken with my advisor, and it turns out that there are only two schools in Oregon that offer my MFA program, SOC in Ashland and University of Portland. I'm going (eventually) for an MFA in technical theater so I can teach collegiate.
I was invited to teach a sound design workshop in California a few years back, and I loved it. I know I can't teach as faculty in any Oregon college without an MFA, but that doesn't mean I can't make my information available now. So, I'm putting together a web site based on my earlier class and the syllabi I developed for the Cal State system. It still amazes me (not in a particularly good way) that there are no colleges or universities that have classes in my area of theatrical design. I'm good at what I do, and I'm self-taught.
Feels weird being a member of the PDX group here and not having gone out for any events yet. Then again, I haven't been out anywhere since Genitorturers at Dante's in October. Class hasn't really given me time. I'm hoping the two can meet halfway so I can enjoy the friends I've made so far (and hopefully meeting many more), and be able to incorporate my school friends as well. They're mostly younger, and not able to hit clubs like I do on occasion, but I know many from both worlds would appreciate each other. So I'm optimistic. Now that I've decided to stay in Portland, I want to enjoy all it has to offer. I don't plan to look for a "real" job, 'cause it's been made clear that I can make a very happy living doing contract work with the theatre unions. Great pay, obnoxious hours, but not a 9-5 leash. Four or five days at 12-18 hours, and then two weeks off. I can do this...
- k
Lots of stress, but with sleep (finally), things are improving. Show open in two weeks, and normally this would be crunch time. Given the utter newness of the place and myself to it, there's not that expectation from me. So in a way, it's a lot easier and more relaxing.
Hoping i can go to the PDX sg group halloween party, but have been given a "notice" that i may be helping family move that weekend in Cali...
hoping *very* much to make it!
- k
Hoping i can go to the PDX sg group halloween party, but have been given a "notice" that i may be helping family move that weekend in Cali...
hoping *very* much to make it!- k
sigh... birthdays are weird for me. won't get all depressing here, but today's the 15th anniversary of my only brother's funeral, and tomorrow's my berfday. it's fairly typical of how my life crises work; some nasty event always occurs around the time of something that should be wonderful. Still, this is a good reminder of how unfair life can be. I accept the unfairness, but it doesn't mean I can't be sad about it. So please wish me a happy day, and let me know it doesn't need to always be horrible.
Between this and being a rapid-cycling bipolar, some people continue to wonder why I consider myself cursed at times...
- gordon / kher
Between this and being a rapid-cycling bipolar, some people continue to wonder why I consider myself cursed at times...
- gordon / kher
hmmm... should update with something interesting...
okay, class is off to a great start. Doing a tech theater degree at Mt. Hood, and it's kinda weird how I have several folks common to all my classes (the in-person ones, anyway). Doin' a web-based class, which was unheard of the last time I was in college. So it's weird.
Still, there are benefits. Apparently, some of the tech students (undesirable tech rats like me) work on local shows. Some were at NIN (if I heard correctly), some at Green Day, stuff like that. Not much fun doin' tech for those things, but it does give you "special access" to the bands you work with. Nice way to network.
Not sure how long I'll have to be there before I get gigs like that, but I've done it in Cali before. No one knows me here yet, and that's depressing. Just have to take time like everyone else. Quite humbling, really. Give me a few months, and maybe I can hook you up (if we're friends).
Otherwise, things are well. Even though this neighborhood is annoying me daily (82nd by Woodstock), I'm enjoying my roommates much better. They're cool, smart, and none mind my shamelessness.
Life could be a hell of a lot worse.
- k
okay, class is off to a great start. Doing a tech theater degree at Mt. Hood, and it's kinda weird how I have several folks common to all my classes (the in-person ones, anyway). Doin' a web-based class, which was unheard of the last time I was in college. So it's weird.
Still, there are benefits. Apparently, some of the tech students (undesirable tech rats like me) work on local shows. Some were at NIN (if I heard correctly), some at Green Day, stuff like that. Not much fun doin' tech for those things, but it does give you "special access" to the bands you work with. Nice way to network.
Not sure how long I'll have to be there before I get gigs like that, but I've done it in Cali before. No one knows me here yet, and that's depressing.
Just have to take time like everyone else. Quite humbling, really. Give me a few months, and maybe I can hook you up (if we're friends). Otherwise, things are well. Even though this neighborhood is annoying me daily (82nd by Woodstock), I'm enjoying my roommates much better. They're cool, smart, and none mind my shamelessness.
Life could be a hell of a lot worse.
- k
The older I get, the more I realize that I fit my western astrological sign to a proverbial T. Found this today on MSN of all places...
http://astrocenter.astrology.msn.com/msn/ArticleAstrologyHome.aspx?sd=20050920>1=6890
My b-day is 13 October, and I'm solidly Libra. I also follow pretty well with my oriental sign, that being a cock. No jokes, please, that's just how it is...
I also see that I can often know someone's western sign by hanging out with them for awhile. Curious, 'cause Aries (for me) are either great friends or horrible associations; last girlfriend being a perfect example of the latter. We're kinda notorious for fairness and justice, and I had to hit her hard in court because she perjured herself against me. *Very* bad thing to be unethical in a relationship with me, but your eternal defender when we love you... 
Yay for Libras!
- k
http://astrocenter.astrology.msn.com/msn/ArticleAstrologyHome.aspx?sd=20050920>1=6890
My b-day is 13 October, and I'm solidly Libra. I also follow pretty well with my oriental sign, that being a cock. No jokes, please, that's just how it is...
I also see that I can often know someone's western sign by hanging out with them for awhile. Curious, 'cause Aries (for me) are either great friends or horrible associations; last girlfriend being a perfect example of the latter.
We're kinda notorious for fairness and justice, and I had to hit her hard in court because she perjured herself against me. *Very* bad thing to be unethical in a relationship with me, but your eternal defender when we love you... Yay for Libras!
- k
looks like I'm a-headed straight to hell... How about you? Check this out!
http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv
This determines your final resting place according to Dante's Divine Comedy. You only get ten minutes to do it from when the page loads, but it's adorable. As for me? I'm just fucked.
- k
http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv
This determines your final resting place according to Dante's Divine Comedy. You only get ten minutes to do it from when the page loads, but it's adorable. As for me? I'm just fucked.
- k
I guess I'm ranted out for the time being. Been a pretty decent few days. Had a work-day at my new school, did a light hang and focus among other things (three onstage electrics and the catwalk). I'm doing another degree, this time in technical theater, and it was good to finally meet not just the space I'll be spending most of my time in (my, the fly loft is HIGH), but also the kids. Seems like a really good bunch, and I expect to be on campus and in the shop most of my waking hours. Always fun doing something you love for college credit...
Have a dance theater project I'm directing that should go up at the end of my second quarter (weird; I've only been on semesters before), and am looking forward to that. Major music being used is from... Monte Cazazza (anyone remember Throbbing Gristle? He's one of their weirder collaborators), Collide, Mayhem, The Residents, Christian Death and Collection d'Arnell-Andrea. A bit on the twisted side, but that's the way I like it. ENFORCED AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION IS REQUIRED!!!
If you're in the Portland area next March, come check it out. Rather kinky second scene...
- kherpupple
Have a dance theater project I'm directing that should go up at the end of my second quarter (weird; I've only been on semesters before), and am looking forward to that. Major music being used is from... Monte Cazazza (anyone remember Throbbing Gristle? He's one of their weirder collaborators), Collide, Mayhem, The Residents, Christian Death and Collection d'Arnell-Andrea. A bit on the twisted side, but that's the way I like it. ENFORCED AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION IS REQUIRED!!!
If you're in the Portland area next March, come check it out. Rather kinky second scene...
- kherpupple
this is FUCKING embarassing...
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/06092005/140/storm-survivors-told-expose-themselves.html
I really hope that American voters remember all this next time around, and just maybe we can get shrub and his whole crew run out on a rail...
- k
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/06092005/140/storm-survivors-told-expose-themselves.html
I really hope that American voters remember all this next time around, and just maybe we can get shrub and his whole crew run out on a rail...
- k
