San Diego today!
I'm going with my dad, stepmom, and youngest brother to San Diego to visit my stepmom's parents. They're great people, very Catholic but not overtly religious. I love California too, even for its superficiality and shitty swankiness.
More bad luck to report, though. You know how I drowned my phone in beer and now it's completely dead and won't work at all? My dad has a few old phones but my SIM card is incompatible, of course. Not only that but after he left to run errands, I discovered that the SIM card that he gave me doesn't work either! It's not serviced! I don't know why he would think it would work if it's not an active line. Ugh.. I am beyond stressed out. How am I supposed to find a job if I don't have a phone for them to call me back on? Hmm?
Yesterday my dad woke me up around 9 am and told me whenever I was up and around we were going to run some errands and go look at some Goodwills for buried treasure and the like. Cool, so I get up and take a shower, "get ready," but don't put make-up on or put any real effort into my appearance because, hey, we're just going to Goodwill, right? Come downstairs, he tells me we're going to get applications and hopefully get me some interviews for jobs. Wtf? So I run upstairs and throw make-up on, which promptly melts off my face from the combination of Arizona kill-me-it's-so-hot heat and my flustered anxiety.
I looked like balls, I felt like balls because I was sick the whole day before and pretty much all day yesterday as well--some kind of stomach virus. Anyway, I turned in applications and resumes all afternoon and it wasn't until the end of the excursions that I felt good about any of the places I went. It's not even like they're great jobs, they're jobs for high school kids and college kids who have no work ethic. But I digress, I doubt I will get any of them because the number listed on my applications is unavailable! I put it down thinking my dad's phones would be compatible for some reason and everything would work out but it never goes that way, especially when I'm melting and my face is broken out and I'm sick to my stomach and I just want to go home. Nope.
But listen to me complaining when there are much worse things I could be going through. I'm just at my wit's end.. it wouldn't matter if something catastrophic happened or I just stubbed my toe.. I would have the same uncouth, flustered, anxiety-ridden reaction because my nerves are singed like electrical wires and my batteries are melted.
You know when you screw the lid of a jar on crooked and then stuff leaks all out of it somehow but you can't take the lid back off because it's jammed in an offset position? That's about how I feel. I don't know if I can make it out here because I've started out so off-kilter. I want to go home, really and truly, even if I'll feel like a failure or a dropout all over again. I don't mind, as long as I can see my little sister's face and my older sister's belly bump and make sure my brother's not strung out again. And my mama, I miss her the most, bar none.
And I'm sorry I'm burdening you all with this bullshit but I can't talk to anyone because my dad and stepmom are caught up in themselves, my phone doesn't work, and my best friend only wants to talk about her love interests when we Skype. So, I apologize, but this is the only outlet for my angst.
I'm going with my dad, stepmom, and youngest brother to San Diego to visit my stepmom's parents. They're great people, very Catholic but not overtly religious. I love California too, even for its superficiality and shitty swankiness.
More bad luck to report, though. You know how I drowned my phone in beer and now it's completely dead and won't work at all? My dad has a few old phones but my SIM card is incompatible, of course. Not only that but after he left to run errands, I discovered that the SIM card that he gave me doesn't work either! It's not serviced! I don't know why he would think it would work if it's not an active line. Ugh.. I am beyond stressed out. How am I supposed to find a job if I don't have a phone for them to call me back on? Hmm?
Yesterday my dad woke me up around 9 am and told me whenever I was up and around we were going to run some errands and go look at some Goodwills for buried treasure and the like. Cool, so I get up and take a shower, "get ready," but don't put make-up on or put any real effort into my appearance because, hey, we're just going to Goodwill, right? Come downstairs, he tells me we're going to get applications and hopefully get me some interviews for jobs. Wtf? So I run upstairs and throw make-up on, which promptly melts off my face from the combination of Arizona kill-me-it's-so-hot heat and my flustered anxiety.
I looked like balls, I felt like balls because I was sick the whole day before and pretty much all day yesterday as well--some kind of stomach virus. Anyway, I turned in applications and resumes all afternoon and it wasn't until the end of the excursions that I felt good about any of the places I went. It's not even like they're great jobs, they're jobs for high school kids and college kids who have no work ethic. But I digress, I doubt I will get any of them because the number listed on my applications is unavailable! I put it down thinking my dad's phones would be compatible for some reason and everything would work out but it never goes that way, especially when I'm melting and my face is broken out and I'm sick to my stomach and I just want to go home. Nope.
But listen to me complaining when there are much worse things I could be going through. I'm just at my wit's end.. it wouldn't matter if something catastrophic happened or I just stubbed my toe.. I would have the same uncouth, flustered, anxiety-ridden reaction because my nerves are singed like electrical wires and my batteries are melted.
You know when you screw the lid of a jar on crooked and then stuff leaks all out of it somehow but you can't take the lid back off because it's jammed in an offset position? That's about how I feel. I don't know if I can make it out here because I've started out so off-kilter. I want to go home, really and truly, even if I'll feel like a failure or a dropout all over again. I don't mind, as long as I can see my little sister's face and my older sister's belly bump and make sure my brother's not strung out again. And my mama, I miss her the most, bar none.
And I'm sorry I'm burdening you all with this bullshit but I can't talk to anyone because my dad and stepmom are caught up in themselves, my phone doesn't work, and my best friend only wants to talk about her love interests when we Skype. So, I apologize, but this is the only outlet for my angst.
