SHE WEARS ME OUT.
Its only 2pm and im ready for a nap. Olivia is napping in the car (she's safe....dont judge!), thank god. When we spend days together she doesnt take naps, because, well...we dont spend that many whole days together anymore. Not since house building and teaching and Doula work. But, I have to say, its easier now than when I was a SAHM (stay at home mama). Its weird. Like today for instance.
-Got up at 8am.
-Made Liv breakfast
-Danced around to X-Ray Specs (OH BONDAGE! UP YOURS!) while trying to find cloths for the both of us
-Delt with (count 'em) FOUR temper tantrums while getting the last of our shit together so we could leave
-Go to the library for story time (highlight: The Giving Tree)
-Head to out local Co-op for some smoothies with gal pal
-get together with other mama's in my freind Kelly's house (where there are 2 other kids named Olivia!)
-stop by the credit union, my husbands work, gas station
Whew! I am totally beat. Much more than if I had been doing a full day of construction
I really missed her.
Sometimes things get wierd and it takes time for them to work themselves out.
Im gratful for the time that has passed, and for the friends that I have.
Sometimes things get wierd and it takes time for them to work themselves out.
Im gratful for the time that has passed, and for the friends that I have.
yes, its st. patties day....but more importantly its......
Billy Corgan's birthday!!!!
happy birthday billy...you sexy bitch.
Since its your 38th birthday an all, id like to offer you one coupon good for a night of nasty sex with me
yeaaaaaaaaahhh!
Billy Corgan's birthday!!!!
happy birthday billy...you sexy bitch.
Since its your 38th birthday an all, id like to offer you one coupon good for a night of nasty sex with me
yeaaaaaaaaahhh!
So, I think my uterus is okay.
I do not have an Ectopic pregnancy. That is when the baby inplants in the fallopian tube instead of in the cozy lining of the uterus. It is a rare thing, but it happens, and im at a slightly increased risk because i have an IUD (Intrauterine device). It requires surgery to remove the fetus, otherwise it means partial or total loss of the reporductive organs, or in some cases death.
BUT. Its not that, so i can rest easy. I am curious as to why one side of my uterus is aching though. Tomarrow's ultrasound should help determine that. Either way i am having my IUD removed ASAP. It makes me nervous. I dont like the idea of this little thingy making my uterus toxic. A friend of mine liked the mini pill....maybe ill switch to that? I dunno. Being around all these pregnant women.....i get baby fever sometimes. My kid is only 17 months though, so I really would rather not go there just yet. I have so many plans! Is that selfish? I dont want to have another baby bacause I want to continue to be an educator and a doula, and then after the house is done I want to apply to midwifery school. That is an intensive 3 year program ( and before I even go I have to complete one year of college), afterwhich I think I will be eager to start my own practice.......
Shit. When will I have another kid?
-
I do not have an Ectopic pregnancy. That is when the baby inplants in the fallopian tube instead of in the cozy lining of the uterus. It is a rare thing, but it happens, and im at a slightly increased risk because i have an IUD (Intrauterine device). It requires surgery to remove the fetus, otherwise it means partial or total loss of the reporductive organs, or in some cases death.
BUT. Its not that, so i can rest easy. I am curious as to why one side of my uterus is aching though. Tomarrow's ultrasound should help determine that. Either way i am having my IUD removed ASAP. It makes me nervous. I dont like the idea of this little thingy making my uterus toxic. A friend of mine liked the mini pill....maybe ill switch to that? I dunno. Being around all these pregnant women.....i get baby fever sometimes. My kid is only 17 months though, so I really would rather not go there just yet. I have so many plans! Is that selfish? I dont want to have another baby bacause I want to continue to be an educator and a doula, and then after the house is done I want to apply to midwifery school. That is an intensive 3 year program ( and before I even go I have to complete one year of college), afterwhich I think I will be eager to start my own practice.......
Shit. When will I have another kid?
-
Im so exited about my house. The Mutual Self Help Program is awesome. I was NOT saying thay over the last couple months when we were mucking about in the mud, but now that sun is out, i am changing my tune.
This is our floor plan! Actually, flip it, and then you'll have our house! I cant wait....god. I know exactly how im going to decorate. I am obsessed with the idea of decorating my new home. Ugh....I just cant wait. Really. It could be as soon as 4 months from now! Weeeeee!!!!!
-Amber
This is our floor plan! Actually, flip it, and then you'll have our house! I cant wait....god. I know exactly how im going to decorate. I am obsessed with the idea of decorating my new home. Ugh....I just cant wait. Really. It could be as soon as 4 months from now! Weeeeee!!!!!
-AmberTidbits
-I have a small mole on my stomach
-My husband rubs his feet together in his sleep
-My favorite food is parmesean
I love to kiss my daughter's cheeks
-I am afraid of moths
-My best friend is an artist
-I first met my husband in a drug store, fell in love instantly
-I have a small mole on my stomach
-My husband rubs his feet together in his sleep
-My favorite food is parmesean
I love to kiss my daughter's cheeks
-I am afraid of moths
-My best friend is an artist
-I first met my husband in a drug store, fell in love instantly
I have discovered something about myself: I dont like parties
I mean, it doesnt even matter what kind of party it is. I have never had a good time at a party, or any other kind of social gathering. I just dont know what to do. I stand there, watch people talking....and feel totally uncomfortable. I am trying to think of a time when I have enjoyed myself at a party....hummm....nope. Nothing. Never.
No more parties.
death to parties
I mean, it doesnt even matter what kind of party it is. I have never had a good time at a party, or any other kind of social gathering. I just dont know what to do. I stand there, watch people talking....and feel totally uncomfortable. I am trying to think of a time when I have enjoyed myself at a party....hummm....nope. Nothing. Never.
No more parties.
death to parties Im really in a bad place.
My sister in law is sick in the hospital. I care about her and want her to get better. But, more than that.....god this is so fucking selfish.....this is really messing things up for me. My mother in law wolnt leave her. I rely on my mother in law's childcare very heavily. I need her to take care of my daughter so I can work on our house, teach and attened the births of my clients. If I dont put 30 hours a week in at the construction site I could loose my home. That is the agreement. Thats why, at 22 yrs old I am in a position to own my very first home....because im doing it myself. No, its not Habitat for Humanity...but (sorta) the same kinda thing. I have a client due on the 16th. She could pop and 'ol time now, and I could be totally screwed. Since I live in a small hippy town, people with seroius medical problems have to go to Bremerton, which is about an hours drive. So, my only reliable 24 hour childcare is an hour away, sitting in a hospital. My husband works full time, so he's not much help.
*sigh*
I should be concerned with only the health of my sister in law....but I cant help feel this way. Its a big deal. I have had offers from friends to take care of my daugher, but for like an hour or whatever. I need someone to take her ALL DAY. 12 hours. But, even if I had such an offer it wouldnt be fair to Liv. She has only been cared for by one person
other than her parents, and I would feel shitty dumping her with a near stranger all fucking day. Very uncool.
*sigh*
I know this must be boring to whoever is reading this....but it helps me so much to type it out and examine my feelings. I love this site. I came for the "porn" (not really porn, is it?) and i stayed for the community.
-Amber
My sister in law is sick in the hospital. I care about her and want her to get better. But, more than that.....god this is so fucking selfish.....this is really messing things up for me. My mother in law wolnt leave her. I rely on my mother in law's childcare very heavily. I need her to take care of my daughter so I can work on our house, teach and attened the births of my clients. If I dont put 30 hours a week in at the construction site I could loose my home. That is the agreement. Thats why, at 22 yrs old I am in a position to own my very first home....because im doing it myself. No, its not Habitat for Humanity...but (sorta) the same kinda thing. I have a client due on the 16th. She could pop and 'ol time now, and I could be totally screwed. Since I live in a small hippy town, people with seroius medical problems have to go to Bremerton, which is about an hours drive. So, my only reliable 24 hour childcare is an hour away, sitting in a hospital. My husband works full time, so he's not much help.
*sigh*
I should be concerned with only the health of my sister in law....but I cant help feel this way. Its a big deal. I have had offers from friends to take care of my daugher, but for like an hour or whatever. I need someone to take her ALL DAY. 12 hours. But, even if I had such an offer it wouldnt be fair to Liv. She has only been cared for by one person
other than her parents, and I would feel shitty dumping her with a near stranger all fucking day. Very uncool.
*sigh*
I know this must be boring to whoever is reading this....but it helps me so much to type it out and examine my feelings. I love this site. I came for the "porn" (not really porn, is it?) and i stayed for the community.
-Amber
