I heard a story on the news today that just made me feel such sympathy for some poor dude out there. It was about a gas station being robbed at about 5 am this morning. There was one employee in the store, and he was cleaning the bathroom when the robber came. The robber locked him in a storage room.

I mean, I can just see some poor son of a bitch, cleaning out a shitter at 5 in the morning, hating your life, hating your fucking job, and the next thing you know, someone's pointing a damn gun at you and demanding money.

So make that your little thankful thought for the day: at least I'm not cleaning out a shitter at 5 in the morning, getting robbed by some shitheel wanting money for crank.

Unless you are cleaning a shitter at 5 in the morning. Then rest assured I feel for you.