Thanksgiving

So truth be told I never cared about this holiday I thought it was just a US tradition, so needless to say this holiday never really meant too much to me, but as I thought about it more and more I realize that it ought to be on par for me as Xmas, my bday and New years [my favorite holiday as you get to essentially start all over again] because in a way it makes you think of all the things your thankful for, which for me some days feels null and void. So here goes, all the good things [daggy or otherwise] that I , Elizabeth Mary Frances, am indeed thankful for: My health- no cancer anywhere for me as yet, woohoo!, Derek- words can't express how thankful I am for him every single day, my ability to forgive and move on, meeting new friends this year-some let me into their lives no questions asked and it's been the best thing to have happened to me in a long time [especially you Sz and K!] for my studio- my wonderful writing haven! I feel instantly happy when I unlock that door!, for my still ever strong laptop [lame I know] for my ability and desire to lose weight that's held me back for so long, for my best friends Darin, Jessica [although your so far away and haven't seen her in so long] again I don't thank them enough for all they do, for Planet Organic, for discovering stand up comedy, for writing, for dance, for the willingness to fight when pushed to, for the hope that everything [personally and globally] might still turn out alright if we keep trying, for the ability to get people out of my life that constantly hurt me, for my ability to be good with my finances, to Cheryl for always looking out for me and inviting us into their families lives and everything they do, for Nan Goldin, for my stupid ipod that keeps me sane during work hours, for friends that care about me even though I can be a pain in the ass and hardly come out any more [especially you Karen and Holly mwah!] for photography, for AFL footy, for my brother Joshua, for Sam Rockwell, for any previous relashionship whom I'm friends with now-I can't imagine life without them and their new lives/families, for the ability to be truely happy for someone that I don't get to see anymore but know they are happy and have found happiness, for Guitar Wolf, for tattoos still looking radiant, for warmth, for the new apartment, for kicking my alcoholism [I only drink maybe twice on a weekend now but most of the time don't feel the need anymore] for knowing talented writers, actors, photographers, artists, for Toronto, for the travelling bug, for the fact that for the first time my life is an empty page- I can do whatever I want!, For Elijah, for the Lobby, for my flowers that still bloom, for Chuck Palaniuk, for Woody Allen films, for stopped having felt that I'm not as good as anyone else, for Mozart, for taking that perfect picture, for being able to read people to a tee, to think outside the box, for Melbourne AND THANK GOD FOR AUSTRALIA!..

As the lyrics "I'm not dead yet" filter it's remnants through my head I get a little forlorne. I finished working on SPAMALOT last night and in the 8 years of working in theatre, I can honestly say for once I didn't want it to end. To be honest I don't think the actors and the crew heads felt the same way -Edmonton is unfortunately the kind of place where people wait to leave, it's a constant waiting room. Oh I should mention what I do for a living- I'm a costume dresser, so my job entails putting costumes on actors, quick changes, sewing, shit like that. My job on this show was to dress the leading lady, Esther. I have worked with my fair share of diva actresses, man especially ensemble girls-they can be so bitter and mean..but Esther is the type of actress that every aspiring young actress should be like. She was a grade A triple threat and with not an ounce of ego on her. She was always so kind, gentle .etc....everyone had a great time, there were no spats, and never any lack of respect, which quite frankly is missing in my line of work-many actors feel that a dresser is their personal stollery maid. Esthers note with a lovely tip last night made me tear up, she told me to keep writing and never give up no matter what! For all you Torontoites reading this I know the show is coming to you soon-Run don't walk to see this one!

Just seeing if this works- for some reason this site won't retain any profile info I punch in- I want to cry...