On September 13th my wife and I were in Chicago to see the Twins play the White Sox. I woke up and my right eye was swollen shut. We went to the emergency room, and the doctor recognized the problem right away. Shingles.
Shingles is caused by the chicken pox virus which can survive dromant in the nerves. Ususally it shows up in people over 60.
I spent 72 long hours stuck in the hospital, while they pumped me full of IV antivirals and antibiotics.
Painkillers, even the hardcore ones, don't control the pain and itching. My doctor finally gave me a medication that works on the nerves. Even that isn't perfect, but for the last 3 weeks, at least I've been able to sleep.
On a lighter note, the hell of that hospital stay has given me an idea for a tattoo.
As we were getting in the car, my wife told me to turn around. There she was about 50 feet away. I wish I had eaten breakfast. I would have loved to have run up to her and puked on her shoes.
It should be clear that I voted for Terryl Clark.
Rodent Trouble...
Ten years ago I built my house on what used to be farmland. I love living away from the city while still being close enough to everything. We have all kinds of wildlife passing through the yard, deer, foxes and bald eagles to name a few. Mice and rabbits are permanent residents. They were here first, and I built my house on top of their's.
Either someone is throwing Cocoa Puffs all over the front porch and back deck or the rabbits are sending a message. At least for now the rabbits are still on the outside.
The same however cannot be said for the mice. Every winter they take up residence in my attic. I'm not sure how they get up there (maybe through the garage). The scratching and scurrying are annoying, but they have found a way into the kitchen. That's where I draw the line.
Each winter I declare war and break out the traps. Just the old fashioned spring traps, but the secret is in the bait. Cartoon mice eat cheese. Real mice like grain products, and are peanut butter junkies. I use the peanut butter to hold a single Cheerio on the trigger plate.
Last year I bagged 16 of them little bastards. They just kept coming, almost as quickly as I could reset the traps.
The other day my wife noticed fresh turds in the drawer by the stove. Mousey season was officially open. The next morning I opened the drawer and saw something I had never seen before.
Warning mousey murder...
Thank God we don't have roaches.
The little bastards just keep coming. 15 in 72 hours.
It seems my sister's Suburban has "animal magnetism". It attracts deer. I've nicknamed it the "Bambi-mobile".
The first two kills were more or less direct hits. Today's kill was a little different. This one ran straight into the side of the car, denitng the door. Perhaps the attack was revenge for his lost brothers.
My brother-in-law gets out to take a picture of the damage, and the deer jumps up (scaring the shit out of him) but doesn't get far with two broken legs. He calls 911 to report the accident. The sheriff's deputy shows, and proceeds to pop a cap in the deer, with my brother-in-law standing there. The deer still didn't die, so he did it again.
The local deer community has determined this vehicle to be a menace. They will not rest until it is destroyed.
Of course everyone knows those chocolate cookies with the cream filling, that some people insist on dipping in milk. I take my cookies neat with a milk chaser.
Much to my dismay, the brand has expanded to include well over a dozen mutant forms.
I turned to my wife and said one word...
whOREOs!!!
Since I'm alive and typing this it must be about taxes.
[rant]
The IRS allows you to file an extension. Without a finished return you don't know how much to pay. (I never get refunds.) They charge you penalty and interest starting April 16th. So what the fuck are you supposed to do? Send them a blank check? I think not.
[/rant]
So I finally get my taxes back from the accountant in mid July. I write out large checks for both federal and state. The IRS allowed me to file electronicly. They got their check and cashed it right away. Of course last week they sent me a bill for $550 for the penalty and interest.
The state said I owed some small amount and wouldn't accept an electronic filing. So I had to go back to the accountant and pick up a hard copy. I put the check in the envelope with the return and mailed it from the local post office. A month passed and still the check hadn't cleared. I called the department of revenue and the lady said it could take up to 60 days for the check to show up. ARE YOU SHITTIN ME?
A couple of weeks ago I sent in a payment for 2010. That was cashed within two days. I called them again today and told them to just take it from my account. (I was tired of looking at money that isn't mine.) The guy I talked to was really nice. My story probably wasn't what he typically deals with in the collections department, a guy who has the money and wants to pay.
He also said they would remove the interest from July to now, but I still owe from April to July.Then I went to the bank and paid $29 to stop payment on the original check.
Here's the punchline: if I hadn't wanted to save the price of a stamp and mailed the check in a seperate envelope (which my accountant gave me), I could have saved myself the money and the trouble. Doing the math I paid 66 times price of the stamp to stop the check.
P.S. Happy birthday to my labret. It's one year old today.
