4 days left to my exams.

But today, I took an ego day. Woke up late, went and got some breakfast with my buddy Russ (it has been WAY too long since I got me a proper breakfast out), then we headed to the movies with our friend Lolade (every time i hang out with that girl, i remember how fucking amazing she is, and i think to myself, goddamnit i need to kick it with her more often), saw Knocked Up, then caught about 20 minutes of Pirates of the Carribbean 3, then watched Once (there oughta be a culturevulture entry on one or both of those sometime soon...). Then just strolled around downtown, walked up to Printer's Row, which was closed for the night (thank god, honestly - don't think I could afford it to be open), had a very pleasant meal at a little Trattoria, then caught a bus home, strolled through the neighborhood a bit with Russ. I really appreciate that guy. He's one of my favorite people to discuss books and movies with, because he's a fiercely intelligent dude who looks at things in a way that is totally different from me, but always well thought-out, and always fascinating. Now I've brewed me a full pot of coffee and gotten back to work. Just read some Robert Browning poems - interesting stuff. What a lovely day.

In fact, the last few days have been pretty awesome. Logged some good quality time with my favorite woman ever last night, hanging out on my roof eating lime popsicles and drinking Jameson as dusk fell. Wonderful.

I'm working hard, but I'm trying to also take time off, hang out with friends, enjoy the weather. Because I figure ima do better on this exam if I walk in with a clear, relaxed mind rather than all strung out and crazy. And it's working well, I think.

I am so madly in love with last.fm these days. I never used the radio feature before, but holy shit, it's fucking awesome.

Another thing I'm madly in love with - this tv show Wonderfalls. Netflix recommended it to me, I thought it'd make for a good study break, and goddamn, it's fucking awesome. I never watch tv, so maybe part of my enjoyment is just the pleasure of the particular narrative structure of tv shows, but still, it's pretty kickass.

A random guy came up to me at the bar last night and complimented my tattoo. Not the first time this has happened BUT it was the first time somebody recognized the source. I was way, way impressed. Unfortunately, the guy turned out to be a one-trick pony, because further conversation revealed him to be, um, not that impressive. Oh well.

Also, check it out.>
(I tried to embed the video, but I'm apparently too stupid to do that.)
That bouncing curly headed creature by the trombone player? Yeah, that's me. Mucca Pazza plays one hell of a live show. Not to be missed. Seriously. I don't care what kind of music you're into - go see them. They're fucking amazing.

Yeah, all in all, life is pretty damn good.

Here she checked herself in some alarm, at hearing something that
sounded to her like the puffing of a large steam-engine in the wood
near them, though she feared it was more likely to be a wild beast.
"Are there any lions or tigers about here?" she asked timidly.

"It's only the Red King snoring," said Tweedledee.

"Come and look at him!" the brothers cried, and they each took one of
Alice's hands, and led her up to where the King was sleeping.

"Isn't he a lovely sight?" said Tweedledum.

Alice couldn't say honestly that he was. He had a tall red night-cap
on, with a tassel, and he was lying crumpled up into a sort of untidy
heap, and snoring loud - "fit to snore his head off!" as Tweedledum
remarked.

"I'm afraid he'll catch cold with lying on the damp grass," said
Alice, who was a very thoughtful little girl.

"He's dreaming now," said Tweedledee: "and what do you think he's
dreaming about?"

Alice said "Nobody can guess that."

"Why about you!" Tweedledee exclaimed, clapping his hands
triumphantly. "And if he left off dreaming about you, where do you
suppose you'd be?"

"Where I am now, of course," said Alice.

"Not you!" Tweedledee retorted contemptuously. "You'd be nowhere. Why,
you're only a sort of thing in his dream!"

"If that there King was to wake," added Tweedledum, "you'd go out -
bang! - just like a candle!"

"I shouldn't!" Alice exclaimed indignantly. "Besides, if I'm only a
sort of thing in his dream, what are you, I should like to know?"

"Ditto," said Tweedledum.

"Ditto, ditto!" cried Tweedledee.

He shouted this so loud that Alice couldn't help saying "Hush! You'll
be waking him, I'm afraid, if you make so much noise."

"Well, it's no use your talking about waking him," said Tweedledum,
"when you're only one of the things in his dream. You know very well
you're not real."

"I am real!" said Alice, and began to cry.

"You won't make yourself a bit realler by crying," Tweedledee
remarked: "there's nothing to cry about."

"If I wasn't real," Alice said - half-laughing through her tears, it
all seemed so ridiculous - "I shouldn't be able to cry."

"I hope you don't suppose those are real tears?" Tweedledee
interrupted in a tone of great contempt.

"I know they're talking nonsense," Alice thought to herself: "and it's
foolish to cry about it."






EDIT:
Woah. I just realized that the camera on my laptop does mirror images. Because the ink is most certainly on my LEFT shoulder. Wacky.

It was nicely to see people last night, albeit briefly. The Big Rock Show, it must be said, was also totally awesome.

Man, I am so fucking tired of working so damn hard.

I should know better than to read newspaper articles about immigration legislation first thing in the morning. Ugh.

oh my wtf.

be_elzebe and i went to innertown pub last night and scored 6 free shots a piece. wtf?
of course we tipped outrageously.

there was a bit of wtf connected to her woman, but that turned out to be a misunderstanding. so that's good at least. then i peed in an alley. heh heh. but walking to her crib from the pub, we realized, wait a second... we're sober. wtf?

then we couldn't get into her place because her key mysteriously stopped working. wtf?

then a friend of mine tried to get down my pants. up my skirt. whatever. actually, it wasn't like he tried, it was like he assumed it was obviously gonna happen and just sort of jumped me. um, dude. wtf?
at least buy a girl some flowers first, eh?

it is 21:23 and 28 degrees. wtf?
actually, it's lovely, except that i have no a/c. and once again, probably ain't gonna buy one, because i'm gonna be gone for so much of the summer anyhow, and them shits are expensive, and i'm lazy, and...
nights like this, i turn out all my lights (though i keep the ceiling fans on) and pretend there's a power outage. and that it's some kind of miracle that my tv is working and i can watch a movie. i dunno, it helps.

and where are the cicadas?

Today I was feeling bored and vaguely adventurous, and I replied to two personals ads from craigslist - something I've never done before, but fuck it, why not. I heard back from one of them, a dude who was looking for someone to grab a bite to eat with, within an hour. I like food, and the guy's post was amusing so hey, it could work, right? It didn't happen in the end (he had already gotten tacos by the time I reached him) but the whole experience taught me a few things:
1. Most normal people watch tv. The fact that I don't really at all puts me at a serious disadvantage in terms of making conversation. Hmmm.
2. The women seeking women ads are really, really scary. I mean seriously.
3. Everybody wants to get laid. This guy managed to bring sex into the conversation after we'd been chatting for less than 15 minutes. I wonder whether everyone is really just looking for sex? Or if any dude you contact is gonna feel compelled to at least make a half-hearted attempt to maybe get it? What is it about online chatting that makes people think that openly stating they wanna bang a complete stranger they've never even laid eyes on is a good idea? Ugh. I mean, I'm a pretty, uh, liberated woman, but jesus christ.
4. Despite my cynical and ironic front, I'm generally a rather simple and trusting person. I'm also vaguely autistic, in that other people's minds are a total mystery to me. So this whole personals ads thing might not be a good idea, really at all.

Guess we'll see what happens with the other one.

God we're awesome.

EDIT:
Um, ooops. That was supposed to be the caption to a photograph, but then it turned out that the pic was too big, and i'm too lazy to shrink it, and i didn't even realize i had posted that entry.

still though, it's totally true. we are awesome. go us.

So my parents took me to what is quite possibly one of the greatest supermarkets i've ever been to, Wegman's. I guess the East Coast can do some things right. I was in international food heaven. Not only could I acquire all the obscure food from various remote countries that I so adore, I could also get all the US stuff that I can't seem to find anywhere else, like Snyder's Buffalo Wing flavored pretzel chunks. Sweet christ i love those.

Anyhow, while there, I picked up some deoderant. I didn't put a lot of thought into which deoderant to buy, I sort of followed a playful little whim, but reflecting later, it occurred to me that it was actually a rather peculiar choice.

For starters, I use Old Spice. Men's deoderant. Why? Um, I'm not certain. Part of it, I think, has to do with the fact that I suspect it's better. I mean, remember all those Secret ads that claimed their product was "strong enough for a man"? Well shit, why not buy men's deoderant then, if it's stronger? I ain't your average shrinking violet female. I like to get rowdy. So gimme something that works. Also, women's deoderants tend to smell like baby powder, which grosses me out, big time. Finally, all my best friends in college were dudes, and they all used Old Spice. So I dunno, so do I. I never really thought about it, but maybe there is something kind of weird about a girl using men's deoderant?

What made it more weird this time, though, is that I didn't get my usual scent, but a different one. Wegman's, as it turns out, stocks a full range of Old Spice deoderants, including this particular one, which is a little less common. I am familiar with it because a former lover of mine used it. He's the only person I have ever met who used this particular scent, and I associate it very strongly with him. Or rather, not so much with him as with sex and silly romance and the general sort of mental space I was in at that time, free and happy and having a total frivolous fling with someone in a wonderful city, knowing it was going to end soon and looking forward to the future, even while enjoying the moment. So I just kind of like the smell, and I thought, you know, it will be nice to smell that more often.

But later, it occurred to me that it's kind of weird for me to wander around smelling like a past lover. I mean, smell is such a major factor for me in terms of attraction. And I sort of assume it is for other people, too. So now, the next person I get close to, if they get all attached to my smell, and think of it as that special sexy me smell... they're actually getting turned on by another dude's scent. Mingled with other me smells, I suppose, but still. Kinda odd. And then I just sort of generally started wondering if any of the people I've been with in the past have ever noticed, and been a bit puzzled, by the fact that I use men's deoderant? Is it kind of disorienting for a guy to be cuddling up to a chick that smells all clean and masculine? Though I guess when my ex-boyfriend used my Herbal Essences shampoo and smelled all girly, it was kind of a strange turn on... But do I really want to smell like somebody whom I want to sleep with?

A friend of mine told me that the problem she has with determining her sexuality is that whenever she meets a really fantastic girl, she isn't sure if she's wants her or if she wants to be her. So apparently I have the same problem regardless of the gender of the other person involved...

No wonder I sleep alone, heh heh.

Sometimes it's good to get away. But then, maybe part of the problem is my conviction that one can always see things better from a distance. Perhaps that's a euphemism for "fear of commitment". Or maybe I'm just overthinking things.

I just bought a car! And I'm totally in love with it.

So if you wanna give me presents any time soon, I want stickers and mix tapes. Oh hell yes.

Edit:

So the tape deck, it seems, doesn't actually work. I mean, it plays tapes, but it... changes them. Social Distortion comes out sounding like cracked out 6 year olds. It's kind of amazing.

Also, it turns out that you're not really supposed to drive around without plates or insurance. Who would have thought? Good thing I'm so damn charming. Also, let me just say how much I love this city and its police force.

Officer: See, the thing is, it's actually illegal for you to be sitting behind the driver's seat of a car if you have no insurance. Let alone move it from point A to point B.
Me: Seriously?!? Wow! I had no idea!
Officer: Yeah, well, I'm just letting you know.
Me: Yeah, I will definitely go to the DMV tommorrow.
Officer: We call it the Secretary of State here.
Me: Oh yeah? Well, is it open tommorrow?
Officer: No. It's open on Monday.
Me: Wait, so what happens when someone buys a car on a Saturday?
Officer: Yeah, see, you're not really supposed to do that.
Me: Oh. Wow. I had no idea. I am so sorry.
Officer: No, no, I'm just telling you, you know, so that you know.
Me: Yeah thanks, I really appreciate it. So, uh, what do i do now?
Officer: Go home. I'm not gonna give you a ticket or anything.
Me: So I just... go home?
Officer: Well yeah. It's illegal for me to tell you to drive home.
Me: Right. Ok. Um. Thanks!