So I have been pondering.

I will preface this - that the following post is most likely against the grain. It does not, however, intend to demean the advances of females in the modern day or in any way claim that men have it harder (or easier) in any way.

Let us begin.

As a big guy, I am faced every day with the notion that I am not the poster child for the desirable male. I have grown, over the years, to be mostly ok with this. This is not a "oh whoa is me I'm over weight" post. I only make the statement to bring up that I am directly involved with what I'm going to be discussing.

If we look back over time, probably not even 100 years, though most prominent in various civilizations over history - that the primary traits of the desired male mate were vastly different than they are now. Today men my size and larger struggle to find female companions where as in the past their size was often seen as a sign of wealth and ability to provide. Granted it is (at least in this country) a much easier process to both acquire sustenance and become over weight. Weight does not necessarily = prosperity and luxury. But neither does it fully negate it. Currently I feel that men face many of the same plights in the dating scene that women have been complaining of for the past 10-20 years. Essentially that models/actors/media have created an image of thin and muscular body types as being the requisite image of beauty for the male population.

While I will not argue that a fit and muscular male is attractive (lol bring on the gay jokes), this fixation on the here and now physical attraction (and a narrow vision of it) ultimately serves to do nobody justice in the pursuit of love. We will all grow old. We will all become wrinkly. We will all lose the vast majority of our physical appeal. The key to love is to find beauty within someone throughout and not just in the shallow epidermis. One's body type can actually serve a good means of discerning the deeper qualities of individuals and it has been MY experience that the physical qualities that are toted as the standards for beauty tend to lead to personalities which conflict with emotional qualities that nurture long lasting relationships.

I can say the same thing on the opposite end of the spectrum as well, granted (overly obese people and the low self-esteem, self loathing, dependancy issues, etc). But I don't think that obese people have the problem of having too many women, so this isn't about that. But either way a lifestyle of constant physical training, strict eating habits, etc that produce the types of "beauty" which is fed to us enforce personalities of egotism, self-centered, OCD, and narrow appreciation for only that which re-enforces their decision to focus on their physical appearance.

My personal lifestyle is to indulge to a point of appreciating and stimulating my senses. I love food. I love to eat. I also enjoy sitting and listening to music, or playing it. I enjoy a good movie or read of a book. I also a decent work out from time to time. I have a level of desire to EXPERIENCE and INDULGE that I understand will never allow me to be thin. It is not complete hedonism, but does border on it in a controlled fashion. My point is that there can be a "healthy" level of weight (for both sexes) which while not fitting the images of beauty pressed on us by the media lends itself to not only an exciting and engaging lifestyle, but promotes a healthy and accepting mind and personality. All it takes is for women (or men) to expand their minds for the ideal mate.


I had more... and it didn't all involve weight. But it's late. I'll simply state that I think a common problem for both men and women when it comes to dating is the combination of women being told since their little girls that they should get whatever they want from a man - that they are princesses deserving of worship and that men are raised with the notion that only through rigor, pain, and self-sacrifice will you earn the love of a woman.

Alright, alright, alright.

Here's your new blog people. I was afraid Amber was gonna come over here and murder my face if I didn't post again (well... really I guess that'd be incentive to NOT post... oh well, I do like my face...)

Lots of crazy stuff going on, been very busy.

I bought a new car since last you all heard from me here.

Brand new 2008 Infiniti G37



That's my baby right there.

On the band front we're playing in Murfreesboro, NC at Zakk's Coffeehouse again on Oct 10th. This time for the Slaves of Metal tour with Mistress Juliya from Fuse.

Damn she is uber hot. I'm so stoked to meet her.

The bad ass thing is she's also scouting for record labels (of most import is Century Media and Metalblade) on these shows, so we're hoping to make an impression.

At the end of October we got 3 shows in like 5 days. Gonna be very hectic.

On a personal note work has been super crazy. Bearing down on deadlines for projects, coworker is in Germany on vacation so I'm working HIS projects too.

I got to go shooting with my buddies yesterday. I now want a tactical shotgun. My friend Nate has one. 12 gauge. I was firing 00 buck and god damn did it feel awesome. I hadn't shot a rifle since I was like 13 in boy scouts... but I found I'm still a decent shot. Was able to stay in the center of the target more or less and also able to knock down bowling pins (which basically requires a "head shot"). Good to know all my video games have trained me for something.

Umm.... what else.

Still single. Which is cool. But also not cool. Wouldn't mind being in a relationship, but certainly not stressing over it or losing any sleep at night. Horny constantly, but shit... that doesn't change with relationship status. I just have an insatiable libido.

Meh.. I suck at these blog things. It's why I never keep 'em updated. Myspace is rarely updated, facebook rarely updated, livejournal rarely updated.... have 'em all... yet no one ever knows what the fuck is going on with me. HA.

I think you all are the luckiest... or... unluckiest.... in that regard.

I leave you all with posters for upcoming Malthus events:

Hosted by Mistress Juliya, obviously

SUPPOSEDLY being MC'd by members of GWAR. Igor is still ironing out the details.

Halloween bash of metal!

There's so much to talk about and I don't even have the words to discuss them!!

We played The Norva last weekend. It was amazing, we played well, sound was great, had fun! The crowd received us well too, our new shirts sold well, signed some bodies (and boobs), had requests for CDs which I sadly had to inform weren't done yet, got booked for some more shows, met cool people, and went out to the bars when all was done.

So our photographer, Igor, is setting up a Horror Prom a few days before Halloween here. He's already got members of GWAR playing Master of Ceremonies and Prom King for the evening, giving away a custom chopper, and lots of other prizes, dousing the Prom Queen in blood, etc. It's going to be really fun.

And guess what... he wants Malthus to play the Prom. HELLZ YEAH! It's going to be a killer night and should see lots of handsome young lads and beautiful ladies dressed up for an evening for fright, metal, and debauchery.

I need to start shopping for a Prom Dress!!

Work is hella stressful. Trying to buy a new car is hella stressful. And women are a weird combination of smiles and stress. Dah well...

Leave me some love, people - I'm needing it!

Oh! One more thing.. check out pictures from the Norva show in my pics section.

I want to make a new entry in the Star Wars universe.


Star Wars: Jedi Academy


It's about what happens when you give stoned, drunk, horny teenagers force powers.....

Hey SG-land!

So because of our stellar performance at the Battle of the Bands Finals we're up as a contestant to win a record contract. But in order for Malthus to start hitting the big time I could use YOUR help! It takes like 5 seconds of your day. All you have to do is go here and vote for Malthus.

You can vote once a day! So if you happen to think about it feel free to return and vote again! But seriously, if you want to help - please don't procrastinate! Go ahead and click the link, vote, and help me rock your socks off.

Much love SG land.

So I don't know if you know how to read. I mean... I make assumptions based on this being a blog and all.

But if such a skill is part of your repertoire I'd like to recommend directing your acute visionary talents here.

Once there, please to then use your hands to manipulate in some fashion the page down to the September 5th, 2008 date.

There may be some rather exciting news there.


In other news Malthus took second place at the Battle of the Bands finals.

I'll accept that as a win considering what the crowd was like. But the fact now still stands that after only a half dozen shows Malthus now ranks as the second best band in all of Hampton Roads and arguably the best Metal band in the area. Not too fuckin' shabby.

Gah... so much to write about. I don't know if I'll get to it all.

Well last weekend I was in Brampton and Hamilton Ontario. Canadialand. There were less moose and Maple trees than expected.

I had a lot of fun though. There was much drinking and nerding out. By the way... apparently Canadians can't hand Irish Car Bombs. WUSSES! We saw Dark Knight on opening night which was AWESOME!!!!11!1!!11!!!!ONE! ELEVEN. Seriously it was fantastic. Lots of people said it was the best Batman ever.... I don't know if I'll go that far. Batman Returns is still my favorite, but this is second.

The reason I went to Canada was incredibly nerdy. A bunch of people from my World of Warcraft guild were gathering to meet for the first time and party. I figured... fuck... why not? I like to travel. Plus I've been playing with some of these guys for years and talk regularly, about time I met 'em.

I was hoping to get to see Junecarter while I was up there too, she lives in the area. But circumstances didn't pan out. Sucks. And for all of you people who I invited to party with us and didn't even bother to respond you missed a hell of a good time!

Except Vesta... she's cool because she nicely broke my heart ahead of time <3 Vesta

My flight back Sunday night got canceled and I had to sleep in the Buffalo airport. Flight was supposed to leave at 545 in the morning, but then got delayed another hour and a half!!! GAAAH. I just started a new job a few weeks ago and so now I'm negative on vacation hours. Fuckin' lame. Oh well.

When I returned I found out that one of my best friend's wife is leaving him. It sucks... he loves her and treats her awesome. They have a beautiful little girl too... He's the second of my close friends to be going into a separation. In fact... the second of only two close friends who are married!

Everyone who was married when I met them is now getting divorced. Everyone who was single when I met them is getting married. I just fear for how long it'll take those getting married to end up divorced.

My parent's relationship is rocky now too. With all the kids out of the house and them retired all they have is to spend time with each other.... and so they're unhappy. I think they just annoy the shit out of each other.

It really makes me have no faith in marriage anymore. Which sucks because I've always been a hopeless romantic. And even when I'd meet women who I wanted to spend eternity with and they left me for dead I'd still just keep my chin up and say "Well her loss, she just wasn't the right one. Lucky I found out now!"

But now I'm just feel like it's always just a matter of time before a relationship fails.

Maybe someone will prove me wrong. I hope so....

But until then, I'm ready to be a rock star and hook up with groupies. HAHA.

Speaking of being a rockstar news on the Malthus front!

First off Aug 2nd will be our big Battle of the Bands show. All the best bands of the area competing together (only bands who have won previous battles can compete)!! It'll be KILLER! And we've got new music to debut there. If you're in the area or feel like making a trip, let me know if you want to attend! We have tickets!

Also.. something crazy. Malthus has apparently peaked the interest of none other than NIKI SIX!

Our bassist apparently had been talking to a friend of his for a bit on a metal forum and this friend passed us along to Niki unbenknownst to any of us. Niki has since called Bryant (our bassist) a few times to chit chat about us and our music and what we want as a band, etc. Don't know where it's leading... or hell there's no 100% way to know it's really him, but... if it's a hoax, these people are going to some pretty far reaches. We're remaining hopefully skeptic currently.

But.. keep your fingers crossed for us!

Perhaps before too long you'll all see us playing on a stage in your town!


EDIT:

I forgot to add that I've decided to get back into comic books/graphic novels. I spent about 200 bucks the other day ordering some. I got the following:

Y: The Last Man #1
The Walking Dead Book 1
Johnny the Homicidal Maniac Collection
Hellboy Library Edition Book 1
30 Days of Night Book 1
30 Days of Night: Spreading the Disease
Sin City Book 1
World of Warcraft: The Sunwell Trilogy - Ultimate Collection
Witchblade: Origins
The Watchmen

I'm so stoked to get back into reading all these!

Malthus had a show on Monday. It was at The Half Shell here in VA Beach. It went really well, I must say. We played well and even played a new song that we didn't really fuck up. We had a lot of fun, though. Weren't a ton of people there, but a good crowd, and the people there seemed to dig us. Which is nice.

We talked with some of the other bands there - The Summoned and Drive-by Bukkake. Cool people. Love to hang with them again.

In other news I'm busy as fuck. Had training for my new job all week. Next week I drive to DC for meetings and then fly out to Toronto Thursday night. I'll be there til Sunday evening. Should be fun seeing friends. Any ladies in the area are welcome to come party with us, but I warn you... we're huge nerds.

Supposedly I'm going to be staying in one of my friend's trailer? Not sure how big it is or what that's gonna be like... haha. I haven't been in it before, so should be interesting. I may also have the option of another friend's basement. I guess I'll have to see.

Anyways, I'm thinking of setting up a contest here on SG. The idea is a video contest. Where I'd pick a song (or songs.. not sure) and girls would have a certain number of weeks to make a video to that song (or one of the songs). Winner(s) would then receive items off their wishlist from me. Would anyone think that's a good idea and participate?

AAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!

Frustrated.

Horny.

Emotionally drained.

Think I'm getting sick.


Here's to hoping that Malthus puts on a good show tonight and turns the day around.

So Malthus played the show I spoke of in my last blog. A Battle of the Bands to determine who would open at the Norva for Darkest Hour and Motorhead.

The bands that showed up were mostly hardcore kids in high school and of the 7 bands that played I'd say 2 of them had any talent (not including us, because well... whether we have talent is debatable, ha!).

Supposedly the first three bands to play were disqualified from winning because they didn't sell any tickets. However, the third band managed to be one of the 3 going to the finals (There were finals? We were never informed of this....). But... to be honest. They were pretty bad ass, and I'm glad they got to go.

The second band also got to go to the finals. Wait... what?

And then the last band, a absolute trainwreck, is going to the finals. Oddly enough... the last band, so we heard, knew the promoter... hmmm.... interesting.

But we played pretty well, sounded tight, had a good time, had some laughs, made a few new fans. And really we're all glad we didn't win, because we didn't want to have to do "finals" battle that we were never informed of and because we're sick and tired of this promoter.

Who we DO love is Guerrilla Productions. They're a national company and are awesome people. If any band you know has an opportunity to work with them, tell them to do it! Especially Emily.

We got one more show next week at some place that SUPPOSEDLY really knows how to rip shit up. So kinda looking forward to that. Then we'll be focusing on recording for a few weeks and writing new material. I'm also looking to MAYBE go out of town this month. Just need time.....