The following journal is a rant. It is not directed at anyone in particular.

I just need to share some philosophy and thoughts that have recently and randomly popped into my head and prevent me from getting a restful nights sleep. Everyone has moments where life seems to frustrated, confuse, irritate or surprise them. This is just my way of dealing with those moments.

1. I am, by society standards, a nice guy. But that doesn't mean I'm a fucking pushover. Just because you are pretty, doesn't mean I'll do anything you ask. So you can quit shaking your ass at me. Try using your brain once in awhile and I might have a little more respect for you.

2. If we are in a relationship and arguing, don't threaten to "stop giving up the pussy" in order for me to agree or comply. I went almost a whole year without having sex. I've done hard time. Your pussy doesn't control me. Besides, I have a hand and I will use it.

3. Yes I have tattoos. I got them for myself. Quit asking me what they mean. Its not a big deal either way.

4. Just because you consider yourself alternative, against the system, edgy, doesn't mean you're not snobby, elitst, bitter, asshole. Yeah, I have my original hair color. No, I don't have tattoos covering my entire body, no I don't have any piercings. What? We can't hang out? Fine then, fuck you. Why don't you go on vacation. I hear Aruba is nice this time of year.

5. Music snobs, Hey its great you have a vast appreciation for different kinds of music and listen to lesser known bands but quit harpen on me for liking Def Leppard, Rush, and Van Halen. I've been listening to that kind of music since I was 12 and will continue until I die. I don't give a fuck if they are relevent or not. Whatever new "hip" album you are listening to will never be as good as Appetitie For Destruction.
"Its so Easy baby, when everybody's trying to please me"

6. MTV, CMT, VH1, E channel, BET, SpikeTV. You are dumbing down the youth of our country. Stop it now before you bring about the apocolypse.

7. Reality TV-Go fuck your real self.

8.Hollywood-Why are you remaking so many old movies? Is creativity and originality not "it" right now?

9. I may not be the smartest guy in the world. I don't get in your face so you'll pay attention to me. If I'm not talking, I have nothing to say. I'm not a grump. Don't tell me to smile. I'll add my opinion if I feel like it.

10. Intellectual snobs, just because you studied philosophy and literature in college does not make you a progressive human being. I'm sorry that Johnny football or Tiffany cheerleader didn't pay attention to you in high school but hey it was only high school. Get over it. You are just as selfish, horny and misunderstood as anyone. Get off your high horse and lighten up.

11. My guy friends-I don't want to hear in great detail about the last chick you fucked. What? Do expect me to buy a round of beers and bask in your sexual achievements because you blew your load into some poor girl's hair. Tell you what, I'll call National Geographic, they may be interested.

12. Just because I flirt and say I have a crush on you does not mean I really want to fuck you. I am not a creep or a pervert. I do not fall in love cuz I've seen you naked. I am a gentlemen and treat women with respect. There is only one person on this entire site (SGs and regular members) that I want to bone with all my heart. And she knows who she is.

13. Hurricanes-What the fuck is your problem? Can't you stay out in the ocean where you belong? Why do you have to come into Florida all huffin and puffin ruining everything? Don't you know we are trying to fiesta?

14. Americans-When people die in other countries, we need to show a little more sympathy than in the past. People in other countries are not simpletons, not children and their lives have no less value than American lives.

15 9/11-This was a terrible tradegy and my heart goes out to the families but it is not the most terrible thing that has ever happen in the history of the world. Learn some history. Ask the Japanese about the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagisaki. Imagine if half of the people living in Los Angeles died in one day. That is just a portion of the innocent blood spilled in Japan during the war. People kill people. This is nothing new.

16. CMT, conservative, Republicans-Yes, you love your country and support the war effort but that doesn't mean us liberals living here in the Northwest are terrorist supporting, soldier hating, anit-American traitors. We just possess this thing called logical thinking. If someone tells us to go kill someone else, we like to know why. If those reasons were untrue than we would get upset. We don't say "I'm just doing my job. This is my duty." This seems fucked up to me. When will you question your duties? If the US government declared war on Canada because Cananda's not supporting us, would you go "Well, I just doing my job and now I have to go kill some Canadians."

17. Speaking of Canadians, Canada Suicide Girls-What are they putting in the water? Talk about a standing ovation. Put me in a hotel room with Eli, Dyme, Posh, and Lucy with a few bottles of champagne and waffles with fresh fruit in the morning and I'll never complain about anything again..........ever.

18. If we are having sex, quit biting my nipples. I don't like it. If you bite my nipples again, I'm going to squeeze that area between your vagina and anus. Who knows, maybe I'll give it a little twist too. Just to spark things up a bit.

19. Women, don't get down on men who don't eat pussy well. There is no class in high school that was "hands on" learning how to stick your tongue in a pussy. Just tell your man what you like. You ladies had the advantage. You could practice on each other.


20. Mitch Hedberg-Why did you have to die? I fuckin loved you.

21. The war on terror-How the fuck can you win an ideological war? This is nothing but a holy war between Jesus and Allah that is marketed by our world leaders for their own hidden agendas. What the latest death toll in the Middle East's new garden of democracy?

22. God, Allah, Buddah, George Burns, Morgan Freeman, whoever you are-Why do you let dumbshits speak for you? Get down here, kick some ass, and sound off like you got a pair. If not, forever hold you peace and leave me the fuck alone so I can do the same.


I like tennis but I don't see a point at getting good at it.
Because no matter how good you get, you will never be as good as a wall.
I played a wall once. It was fucking relentless.
Mitch Hedberg

This is the smartest thing I've ever heard. And makes more sense that the last 5 years of my life. If you made it this far, thanks for reading. I'm not angry at the world. I'm not crazy, or bitter. I'm a 28 year old guy who enjoys good people, a few laughs, playing guitar around a fire and knowing that this place will be around for my kids to make some memories as well. I love you mother earth. sorry about the mess.