ha. and that's why we have the edit feature, ladies and gentlemen.
sorry for all of you that had to read that crap.
i assure you it's out of my system.
love.
-Hyena.
sorry for all of you that had to read that crap.
i assure you it's out of my system.
love.
-Hyena.
i feel silly today, and in a good mood. no reason.
last night i was feeling the utmost rotten. i suspect soon i will start bleeding from the cunt. i certainly hope so, because i've had it up to about fucking here (imagine i am pointing to my forehead) with the premenstral mood swings. the worst is knowing i am sad/angry/suicidal/etc. simply because of hormonal imbalances, and can do nothing to control it, which makes me even more sad/angry/suicidal/etc.
oh, that's right. i said "bleeding from the cunt".
i've got almost all of my X-mas shopping done, or at least planned out. but i have no idea what i should get Rhys' parents. it's not that they don't have any discernable hobbies or personalities. oh no. it's worse. the hobbies are shit like traveling to the Golopogas Islands to scuba dive (Rhys' old man) and building houses and buying stuff for people (Rhys' Ma). i mean, what do you get those people?!?
and the worst part is i know they'll probably drop more money on me this X-mas than my own parents. and i can't tell them not to get me anything. oh no. that does not fly. this makes me sad, and makes me feel like a charity case/ingrate/etc. marrying into (or at least shacking up with) money has it's down sides, folks.
i think i'll probably draw them something. possibly dogs. because that's the only thing i can think of.
anyway. thanks, everyone, who took time to write out a favorite holiday memory. for those of you who just grumbled "meh i hate christmas waaaaah"... i say
. except for melvina. who has a reason.
and none of you are any help with the houseplants. so. except, again, melvina. i suppose that's why she's my very bestest, most favorite, most wonderful and hottest friend EVAR, yes indeed.
and i get to see her in JUST 8 DAYS!!!
i can't wait.
love. all.
-Hyena.
last night i was feeling the utmost rotten. i suspect soon i will start bleeding from the cunt. i certainly hope so, because i've had it up to about fucking here (imagine i am pointing to my forehead) with the premenstral mood swings. the worst is knowing i am sad/angry/suicidal/etc. simply because of hormonal imbalances, and can do nothing to control it, which makes me even more sad/angry/suicidal/etc.
oh, that's right. i said "bleeding from the cunt".
i've got almost all of my X-mas shopping done, or at least planned out. but i have no idea what i should get Rhys' parents. it's not that they don't have any discernable hobbies or personalities. oh no. it's worse. the hobbies are shit like traveling to the Golopogas Islands to scuba dive (Rhys' old man) and building houses and buying stuff for people (Rhys' Ma). i mean, what do you get those people?!?
and the worst part is i know they'll probably drop more money on me this X-mas than my own parents. and i can't tell them not to get me anything. oh no. that does not fly. this makes me sad, and makes me feel like a charity case/ingrate/etc. marrying into (or at least shacking up with) money has it's down sides, folks.
i think i'll probably draw them something. possibly dogs. because that's the only thing i can think of.
anyway. thanks, everyone, who took time to write out a favorite holiday memory. for those of you who just grumbled "meh i hate christmas waaaaah"... i say
. except for melvina. who has a reason. and none of you are any help with the houseplants. so
. except, again, melvina. i suppose that's why she's my very bestest, most favorite, most wonderful and hottest friend EVAR, yes indeed.and i get to see her in JUST 8 DAYS!!!
i can't wait.
love. all.
-Hyena.
i've been up and down lately. some days are great. some days are just low-down and rotten and laced with this urgent need to run far and fast. it's difficult to explain without getting deep into a mess that i'd rather not even scratch the surface of... at least not here. not now.
and maybe that's part of it. too much internalization. too much isolation. i can feel myself closing up. shutting the outside out and the inside in, battening down the hatches and turning off the lights.
maybe it's just that time of year.
but. i said i wasn't getting into it, and that was more than a scratch. so anyway.
let's talk about something else. please answer one of the following three questions.
1. what are your holiday plans? do you/your family have any traditions? tell me about you favorite holiday memory. and it's not allowed to be a sad one, like "my puppy died on christmas morning". because if you make me sad i will fucking kill you.
2. can you help me help my houseplants?
and maybe that's part of it. too much internalization. too much isolation. i can feel myself closing up. shutting the outside out and the inside in, battening down the hatches and turning off the lights.
maybe it's just that time of year.
but. i said i wasn't getting into it, and that was more than a scratch. so anyway.
let's talk about something else. please answer one of the following three questions.
1. what are your holiday plans? do you/your family have any traditions? tell me about you favorite holiday memory. and it's not allowed to be a sad one, like "my puppy died on christmas morning". because if you make me sad i will fucking kill you.
2. can you help me help my houseplants?
3. would you rather have a finger cut off, or go to the mall right now? because dude. have you seen the mall parking lots?!?
that's it. talk to y'all later.
much love.
-Hyena.
before it got super cold, i was given a few banana plants.
they're indoors now, of course. but i'm having problems keeping them healthy. i'd like to keep them around for a while, because i love them, and they remind me of New Orleans. anyone have any experience with these guys? i could use some advice. i'm not too good with plants.
i need to go to the grocery store.
i think i'll do that now. i'm tired of not having food.
love.
-Hyena.
they're indoors now, of course. but i'm having problems keeping them healthy. i'd like to keep them around for a while, because i love them, and they remind me of New Orleans. anyone have any experience with these guys? i could use some advice. i'm not too good with plants.
i need to go to the grocery store.
i think i'll do that now. i'm tired of not having food.
love.
-Hyena.
whoa. holy hottness!
what a great way to wake up! and Mae's haircut reminds me of my beautiful melvina.
i'm watching Gigantor on the cartoon network. i love it when they have that old shit on. it's usually like 4-6am. sometimes they show Popeye, too.
a funny thing happened to me the other day. i went to a resturaunt called "Ham's" here in Greenville. i like going there because they have decent sandwiches and their own microbrews on draft. the IPA is my favorite, but i thought this time i'd try the stout. so i order one, and the waitress informs me that she'll have to serve it to me in a 4 oz. glass. i asked why, of course, because dude- that's just wierd. apparently the massive 7.3% alcohol content is just too much, and they don't feel comfortable serving it to people in a proper pint.
WTF?!?!?
yesterday, i forgot to eat. now i'm fucking starving and have no food at home.
that's it. no coffee yet either, so if none of the above makes any sense, blame it on that.
love.
-Hyena.
p.s.: i cleaned out my friends list a bit. most of the folks probably won't notice, since i haven't heard from them in a long while. but if you got deleted and you're put off, just request me again and i'll add you back.
what a great way to wake up! and Mae's haircut reminds me of my beautiful melvina.
i'm watching Gigantor on the cartoon network. i love it when they have that old shit on. it's usually like 4-6am. sometimes they show Popeye, too.
a funny thing happened to me the other day. i went to a resturaunt called "Ham's" here in Greenville. i like going there because they have decent sandwiches and their own microbrews on draft. the IPA is my favorite, but i thought this time i'd try the stout. so i order one, and the waitress informs me that she'll have to serve it to me in a 4 oz. glass. i asked why, of course, because dude- that's just wierd. apparently the massive 7.3% alcohol content is just too much, and they don't feel comfortable serving it to people in a proper pint.
WTF?!?!?
yesterday, i forgot to eat. now i'm fucking starving and have no food at home.
that's it. no coffee yet either, so if none of the above makes any sense, blame it on that.
love.
-Hyena.
p.s.: i cleaned out my friends list a bit. most of the folks probably won't notice, since i haven't heard from them in a long while. but if you got deleted and you're put off, just request me again and i'll add you back.
i love being up at the ass-crack of dawn.
it's so quiet, and it's so cold. it's beautiful as the sky lightens from pitch to grey, the stars still high and bright but begining to fade. and it feels as if the fabric that stretches between this world and the next is so thin that it might not be there at all. if you found the right spot, at the right moment, when the boundaries between past, present and future dissolve completely, then you could slip through. and you see ghosts, you talk to the dead, you understand deep mysteries that have no name. and then the sky lightens, it keeps lightening, just a shade at a time, and the mist recedes and the stars all but vanish, and folks start turning on lights, starting their cars, shuttling off to work. and the world is solid again.
but for that precious half-hour between night and day, especially this time of year, everything is sacred. everything is magic. and the dawn glows with the potential of the day, as if i had to wake this early in order to trade the darkness for the sun, and it couldn't have been done another way.
::mid-day good news!::
today has been a money day- no more broke Hyena! my dad just repaid me for some plane tickets we'd both forgotten about, and i got the money from the prints i sold at ECU's holiday art sale. i'm feelin' like a million bucks! or, at least $625.
love.
-Hyena.
it's so quiet, and it's so cold. it's beautiful as the sky lightens from pitch to grey, the stars still high and bright but begining to fade. and it feels as if the fabric that stretches between this world and the next is so thin that it might not be there at all. if you found the right spot, at the right moment, when the boundaries between past, present and future dissolve completely, then you could slip through. and you see ghosts, you talk to the dead, you understand deep mysteries that have no name. and then the sky lightens, it keeps lightening, just a shade at a time, and the mist recedes and the stars all but vanish, and folks start turning on lights, starting their cars, shuttling off to work. and the world is solid again.
but for that precious half-hour between night and day, especially this time of year, everything is sacred. everything is magic. and the dawn glows with the potential of the day, as if i had to wake this early in order to trade the darkness for the sun, and it couldn't have been done another way.
::mid-day good news!::
today has been a money day- no more broke Hyena! my dad just repaid me for some plane tickets we'd both forgotten about, and i got the money from the prints i sold at ECU's holiday art sale. i'm feelin' like a million bucks! or, at least $625.
love.
-Hyena.
new pictures abound. new new pictures, even.
and in case you missed the old new pictures:
Return to New Orleans
Hyena & Melvina
fun.
i pretty much wasted yesterday, but felt okay about it. i've been working hard.
it's cold and raining and i hate catching the bus (or, "school shuttle", as i believe we've decided to call it) in this miserable weather. Rhys lamented a while back, "I fucking hate weather! I want to move somewhere without weather!" i think i decided that Hawaii was pretty close. your thoughts on possibilities for a weatherless home base would be appreciated.
i've recently come to the realization- and, i digress, i've come to this realization many times before in the past couple of months; it just occurs freshly to me now, and while i'm thinking about it, i'm writing it here. but. i believe i am a lot happier with my life than i have been in a lng time. certainly in a few years. i think a lot of this has to do with being back in school, and in the whole college atmosphere. maybe there's more to it. i haven't given it that much thought. but i feel more productive, more worthwhile, more like i used to feel before two years of directionless service industry work all but annihilated my self-esteem and motivation.
so. yay for me.
i'm not saying things are perfect. i could spout off complaints and wants and needs until the cows come home. but instead i'm trying to focus on the good things about where i am and who i am right now, instead of making my usual laundry list of what could be better or what is wrong or what i'd rather be doing. so. yeah. positive thinking, people. positive thoughts.
hell, at least i'm trying.
that's always something.
love, all.
-Hyena.
i just spent two fucking hours re-sizing and uploading pictures. i will respond to folks and write a real journal entry later.
Return to New Orleans
Hyena & Melvina
enjoy.
p.s.:
here is what i did today, after busting my ass at school all week:
-woke up.
-watched cartoons.
-made coffee.
-forgot i'd made coffe and wondered why i was still grumpy, groggy, and mad at the world.
-drank coffee.
-watched more cartoons.
-turned Rhys' new sculpture upside down and made it look ten times better. he hates when i do that.
-did laundry.
-put one of my bookshelves back together. couldn't find the thingies that the shelves rest on for the other bookshelf. stacked books up near bookshelf, and figured that was good enough.
-did not nearly enough carving, but got a good start on the faces of a new lino block.
-at some point in time, drank a beer.
-did more laundry.
-tossed most of my non-fitting pants into a box to be given away.
-bought a new pair of pants online with the hope that once i did, i would stop obsessing about pants.
-failed to stop obsessing about pants.
-on three seperate occasions, ate food.
-fucked around on the internet for a very long time.
-made up some kind of bastardized form of aerobics. did that for five minutes, but got bored and went to eat a bagel instead.
-listened to my new batch of Cheech c.d.s non-stop. except when cartoons were on.
-made up some songs about my dogs.
-updated this journal entry needlessly.
love.
-Hyena.
Return to New Orleans
Hyena & Melvina
enjoy.
p.s.:
here is what i did today, after busting my ass at school all week:
-woke up.
-watched cartoons.
-made coffee.
-forgot i'd made coffe and wondered why i was still grumpy, groggy, and mad at the world.
-drank coffee.
-watched more cartoons.
-turned Rhys' new sculpture upside down and made it look ten times better. he hates when i do that.
-did laundry.
-put one of my bookshelves back together. couldn't find the thingies that the shelves rest on for the other bookshelf. stacked books up near bookshelf, and figured that was good enough.
-did not nearly enough carving, but got a good start on the faces of a new lino block.
-at some point in time, drank a beer.
-did more laundry.
-tossed most of my non-fitting pants into a box to be given away.
-bought a new pair of pants online with the hope that once i did, i would stop obsessing about pants.
-failed to stop obsessing about pants.
-on three seperate occasions, ate food.
-fucked around on the internet for a very long time.
-made up some kind of bastardized form of aerobics. did that for five minutes, but got bored and went to eat a bagel instead.
-listened to my new batch of Cheech c.d.s non-stop. except when cartoons were on.
-made up some songs about my dogs.
-updated this journal entry needlessly.
love.
-Hyena.
i just spent two fucking hours re-sizing and uploading pictures. i will respond to folks and write a real journal entry later.
Return to New Orleans
Hyena & Melvina[/img]
enjoy.
i'm going to go do work.
more later.
love.
-Hyena.
Return to New Orleans
Hyena & Melvina[/img]
enjoy.
i'm going to go do work.
more later.
love.
-Hyena.
here's a fresh journal; for its own sake. if i let my comments stack up past the one page mark, it takes me forever to update.
i've got pictures, but i'm too lazy/busy/whatever to upload them.
it's fucking cold here, but i was smart enough to bring coats back from Kentucky when i went home for turkey. and i bought a new scarf. it's sweet. and i have my hat that melvina made me last winter. it's the only one ever that fits my big ass head with my big ass hair and still covers my ears. woot.
none of my clothes fit anymore. none. especially pants. they're all baggy now. it's sad. i want to go on a shopping spree. but i can't afford it. maybe i should post my clothing wishlists, and cross my fingers...
*hint= i wear a medium/7-8/27-28 size pant, and like low waists and slim-fit, tapered or straight legs. designer jeans are just dandy, but i'll happily take stuff from Lip Service or Dogpile, too. oh, and socks. i need socks, too.*
thank you, Santa, and good day.
love.
-Hyena.
p.s.: no, i don't actually expect random internet folks to buy me fancy pants. and if they did, i'd be very uncomfortable about it, and probably try to give them back.
i've got pictures, but i'm too lazy/busy/whatever to upload them.
it's fucking cold here, but i was smart enough to bring coats back from Kentucky when i went home for turkey. and i bought a new scarf. it's sweet. and i have my hat that melvina made me last winter. it's the only one ever that fits my big ass head with my big ass hair and still covers my ears. woot.
none of my clothes fit anymore. none. especially pants. they're all baggy now. it's sad. i want to go on a shopping spree. but i can't afford it. maybe i should post my clothing wishlists, and cross my fingers...
*hint= i wear a medium/7-8/27-28 size pant, and like low waists and slim-fit, tapered or straight legs. designer jeans are just dandy, but i'll happily take stuff from Lip Service or Dogpile, too. oh, and socks. i need socks, too.*
thank you, Santa, and good day.
love.
-Hyena.
p.s.: no, i don't actually expect random internet folks to buy me fancy pants. and if they did, i'd be very uncomfortable about it, and probably try to give them back.
