Early in our time at Brown, I started calling our group "GDD." It was a kind of acronym joke. The idea was that one day we could use it for a company name, but we'd never tell people for sure what it meant. It could mean "Game Design & Development", "Great Design & Development", or even "God Damned Developers!" Nobody else seemed to really like the name, so I haven't used it much since 2nd quarter or so.

Currently, the mood of the GDD, as a group, seems to be one of quitting. Depression has sunk in as most of the group is striving not to win, but just not to lose. It reminds me of something one of the judges said to a contestant on a recent episode of Top Chef. He said something to the effect of, "It just seems like you're not trying to win; you're just trying not to be in last place."

I wish I knew how to motivate everyone else. The ones I care about seem to be too far gone into this mood to retrieve. The ones I don't care about.... well... I don't care. We have one more group project left, and as they tend to sabotage every group project we've ever done, I'd rather they be gone. Personally, I'm not feeling it.

A few weeks ago, I started getting my drive and energy back. Not that it had ever totally left me in the first place; it just wasn't as strong. I honestly think I was sick with something. I just felt tired and unable to concentrate for a while there. Once that fog finally lifted, I've been getting ahead on my work, both for classes and for my job.

I decided to take a solitary jab at one of the saboteurs of our group. He's been spending the last few days repeating that he's the only one doing any work and that all our projects are doomed to fail. Great guy, really. I forget what the conversation exactly was, but all I added was a suggestion that his answer to anything is to give up. He responded that he was...

Early in our time at Brown, I started calling our group "GDD." It was a kind of acronym joke. The idea was that one day we could use it for a company name, but we'd never tell people for sure what it meant. It could mean "Game Design & Development", "Great Design & Development", or even "God Damned Developers!" Nobody else seemed to really like the name, so I haven't used it much since 2nd quarter or so.

Currently, the mood of the GDD, as a group, seems to be one of quitting. Depression has sunk in as most of the group is striving not to win, but just not to lose. It reminds me of something one of the judges said to a contestant on a recent episode of Top Chef. He said something to the effect of, "It just seems like you're not trying to win; you're just trying not to be in last place."

I wish I knew how to motivate everyone else. The ones I care about seem to be too far gone into this mood to retrieve. The ones I don't care about.... well... I don't care. We have one more group project left, and as they tend to sabotage every group project we've ever done, I'd rather they be gone. Personally, I'm not feeling it.

A few weeks ago, I started getting my drive and energy back. Not that it had ever totally left me in the first place; it just wasn't as strong. I honestly think I was sick with something. I just felt tired and unable to concentrate for a while there. Once that fog finally lifted, I've been getting ahead on my work, both for classes and for my job.

I decided to take a solitary jab at one of the saboteurs of our group. He's been spending the last few days repeating that he's the only one doing any work and that all our projects are doomed to fail. Great guy, really. I forget what the conversation exactly was, but all I added was a suggestion that his answer to anything is to give up. He responded that he was setting an example in the other class. An example of what? An example of how to spend a couple hours a night making levels that weren't in the plan, containing elements that weren't in the plan, and featuring gameplay that wasn't in the plan? Not to mention he's already said, in class, in front of everyone, that he had his own project he intends to turn in for our group project class at the end of the quarter. uhm... who cares? You're not being graded on whatever hack job you've made when you should've been working on the group project. Prime example there.

I'm proud to say that my status in all my classes is good:

Social Issues: A - I mean.. it's social issues...

Multiplayer Gaming and Networking: A - once you learn the commands and take a few minutes to plan the logic, it's not complicated at all. You don't even have to learn the commands.. just look them up in the code we've done before.

Accelerated Graphics Programming - B? - One assignment was incomplete, but I turned it in anyway. If I have time, which I intend to, I have the option of finishing it up and turning it in again. Our current assignment is a piece of cake. Import a model, write code that determines which parts to display, done.

Game Design Project II - A - Our big group project is coming to an end. Out of 7 students, 2 did very little at all, 3 did things that weren't supposed to be in the game anyway and directly contradict design decisions we all made together last quarter, and myself and one other have done everything we can to stay on course and create good material. My interface for the game is nearly complete, programming included. Whether it'll be working in the compiled project isn't sure. First, because there's not even a clear idea of who has the compiled project to turn in and second, because I doubt my programming will be included in it, since they have a tendency not to pay attention to what I need added, even when I write it for them.

Again, I feel bad for my friends that are struggling. I wish I knew how to help. For others, maybe they need to finally fail a class to understand that they can't just coast through everything. Maybe they need to wake up and realize this career isn't for them. I know I'm going to make it through. I've got personal problems, sure.. little money, health issues, relationship issues, but I push through. I'm worried about our last few classes, but I'll continue to work hard to do well in them. I play to win.