So, I haven't really been as active on here as I once was...life's been handing me all sorts of hurdles that I keep collapsing on, and I'm having a lot of trouble holding my head up high. I don't want to go into huge deatails of my life in a blog, so I'll just say a few things. And spoiler them for those of you who don't want to hear me moan.
.extreme rant found in spoiler.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
When I was growing up in Hong Kong, around my 14th birthday I was diagnosed with alopecia. Which is a condition which causes your hair to fall out (on you head, eyebrows, eyelashes, body hair) in times of extreme stress and anxiety. It was fucking traumatic, and something no one should have to endure. It took me just over two years to grow all my hair back.
Now...6 years later after my hair is falling out again, and it seems as though my alopecia has returned. It's hard to feel pretty when you have huge gaping bald spots scattered throughout your hair, and the only way to make it stop is for me to stop feeling anxious. Well fuck. How the hell am I supposed to feel calm when my hair is fucking falling out from the roots of my head?
I know that this is a purely aesthetic thing. But I just can't believe it's happening all over again. I would go on with the other things in my life which are probably the cause of my hair loss...But its all a bit too intimate for me to be sharing on an online blog.
...anyway. I'm dealing. And I'm sorry to rant about it on my blog. But it seems to me, that my friends don't really know waht to say to me. And everyone just stares at their shoes when I tell them about the condition and show them where its affecting me. I don't really need words to feel better though. I just want to be listened to....
I've started my new year of uni (which is so far so good...it's really nice to have something to do with my time, and the opprotunity to be creative with myself. I've been feeling so uninspiried, and every piece I try to work on I give up on halfway through..LE SIGH.
However. That's not to say I'm completely and utterly unhappy and sulking. I'm just going through a difficult period. I'm looking forward to this Friday as my mother who I haven't seen for what seems like ages is stopping through London, and going to come party with me. (She's a cool mom) So, w00t! I have many things to celebrate. And I'm gonna do just that, regardless of my stupid hair condition and the people in my life who have helped bring my anxiety and stress levels to the peak they are at presently.
Anyway. Enough of this.
Happier blog by the end of the week. I promise. This was just for me to unload on.


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