having another one of those all at once moments. but i got one more cigarette and there's a nice breeze outside. tomorrow i'll have a question of the day

ok. sorry gang, but i'm fired up right now. i need to rant. i need a soapbox. lend me your ears. than throw tomatoes at me afterward for all i care.

i am a feminist. i have been since as long as i can remember and i probably always will be. i was raised by a single mother who was subjected to some of the worst things that can happen to a women, and some things just because she was a woman. part of my maturation process was watching not only how the world affected me, but also my mother. people say well you're not a woman or you're not you're mother so you'll never know and i say hey, you don't understand how close we were and how there was nothing that she felt that i didn't. and i say hey, shut up. cuz she went through shit that you winers will never have to go through.
i am so tired of so many modern day feminists have have simply resorted to bitching about problems in the patriarchal society and apperently being furious about it, but not furious about it enough to actually do something about and be content to just bitching about. and on the internet, for god's sake.

does it bother you that society says you can't do something? THEN GO DO IT. or die trying. take down the house. master's tools, remember? and while you're at it, use your tools. stop bitching about what parts of your body make it hard to walk down the street or live your life the way you want to and start realizing that your tits and womb and brains and lips and everything that you are makes you beautiful and powerful. you complain about worrying about pregnancy and forget that your uterus CONTINUES HUMAN LIFE. in that small space life forms and is protected. you are the carriers of life and you treat it as a burden. do you know how amazing that is? how lucky you are?

ah see but then you'll say well we're tired of being heralded as just the nurterer. i want to be a lawyer. i want to go to school. i want to be a police officer. well? then do it. go and do what you want to. i am not holding you back. someone else might be, but if you concentrate on the person standing in your way, than you are just practicing self-defeating behavior. concentrate on the goal at hand, and the obstacles will disapear from view. not from reality, of course. i'm not saying the obstacles aren't their and firmly rooted, but somewhere along the way a lot of feminists (and i'm really not trying to say all of them, simply the ones that seem to be making the most noise right now) stopped examing the roots or chopping at them or trying to step over them. now there's a campsite there with picket signs and tofu and non stop chattering where words like patriarchal and construct and male and female and society are used so much that they cease to be words and turn into meaningless cricket chirping. we have lost our way.

and stop alienating men. feminism has nothing to do with giving the middle finger to half of the world's population. it's equality we want, not a war.

i have seen progress in my lifetime. i am blessed for that. so are you. it means we have more responsibility now. because we know things can change, we cannot simply throw up our hands and say that things will never change. you have more power than you give yourself credit for. there is a difference between talking about your experiences as a human being or a female and spouting off stereotypical gender rules and therefore empowering the rules, instead of yourselves. you are making a mockery of being a female by just identifying the ridiculous expectations. "i am a woman so i can't do this or that" maybe it's just me, but i think you'll have more luck with "i am a woman so i CAN do this" or "i am a woman and that alone makes me beautiful"

i will end this rant that makes me sound like i know what i'm doing with someone who did. marge piercy.

"The woman in the
ordinary pudgy graduate student girl
is crouching with eyes and muscles clenched.
Round and smooth as a pebble
you efface yourself
under ripples of conversation and debate.
The woman in the block of ivory soap
has massive thighs that neigh
and great breasts and strong arms that blare and trumpet.
The woman of the golden fleece
laughs from the belly uproariously
inside the girl who imitates
a Christmas card virgin with glued hands.
It is time to bust out of girlscout camp.
It is time to stop running
for most popular sweetheart of Cambell Soup.
You are still searching for yourself in others' eyes
and creeping so you won't be punished.
In you bottled up is a woman peppery as curry,
a yam of a woman of butter and brass,
compounded of acid and sweet like a pineapple,
like a hand grenade set to explode,
like goldenrod ready to bloom."




thanks if you got this far.

back in ohio. it's strange. some have welcomed me back, some have not. oh well. less drama than the east coast at least. i think i'll stick around here for awhile, play the bad guy for a bit, and if things don't start gettin better by fall, it's just time to find a new place.

so. time for the questions of the post: what do you think about forgiveness?

also, anyone have any cures for the 20-something what am i doing with my life blues?

ok listen here you little peons. i asked you for something small. to go to DominaNefret's page and tell her she was awesome. i even gave several good reasons. now i'm not asking you. i'm telling you. she's in a corner crying and scourging herself right now because you bastards ignore her. why would you do that? she's an attractive girl who loves you all! shame on you! FOR SHAME!

still nothing? fine. motivation.



now go.

oh and my questions about love and music are still up in the air (check out last post)

update: goin home. don't know where that means just yet, but goodbye virginia. it's been real. also, this'll probably mean i won't be around a computer for awhile. leave me love

update: so you ever have one of those things that you really want to do but every time you go to do it, someone dies, or your car breaks, or some weird crisis comes up and eventually you kind of fear trying? well, after about a dozen attempts, i FINALLY lost my Rocky Horror cherry. words cannot describe the scrumptrelesence. i only wish i'd been doing it for years, but hey, sometimes fate likes to slap a bitch. i should also note that i wore DominaNefret's mother's wedding dress and some serious mascara. i don't know if there'll be pictures. ask her. in fact, go tell her right now how awesome she is if you haven't lately. if not for giving me a temporary home while my friends back home are dying/going apeshit, then for being cute as a button covered in awesome sauce. go. now.

also, RIP Minako Honda

also, it's good to be back.

lets see. oh right. so i need some good new music from you people. i seem to have hit a drought and while i'm quasi satisfied with the music that i have to listen to (been goin back to some of the favorites lately) i hunger for that new cd that blows my mind. and all the pathetic masses that really on me for the good new shit are currently starving and starting to turn on me. so hurry. for the sake of the ship.

oh. IMPORTANT. how do you know when you're in love with someone? i'll take any theories.

thank you and good night

back from sg camping. it was 3 helpings of awkward and ouch, but 5 helpings of awesome people and scallops wrapped in bacon. thanks for everyone that convinced me to come and made my stay that much more enjoyable



that's all for now

for all you kids still listening out there, i'm taking a break from the sight. trust me, it's necesarry. keep in touch if you have alternative means. let me know if i go grey. blah

ow

sorry for another emo post. sometimes a whole lot of shit piles up at once, and i get overwhelmed for a second, and then i'm like hey, this is chaos. must be tuesday. i mean, if there's anything in life i can adjust to, it's a good ol' fashioned shit storm.

so anyway i don't know when/if i might get fired or when/if i'll be homeless again or what sacrifices i'll have to make to make the money i need or when this potential lady and i are gonna stop fighting or how i'm gonna stop pissing off my friends......but...... life is kinda, well, alright. i still have lotsa fun. there's shit i miss, and there's shit i don't. but hey, it's been a lot worse for me, and a hell of a lot worse for others.

so other stuff that's kinda good

-i chopped off my hair again. just looked in the mirror and grab scissors in one hand and hair in the other and let them go at it. it's a big difference. the air force guys at the base i'm working at almost didn't let me through the gate. he was like NA THERE WAS SOME HIPPIE KID THAT USED THIS ID LAST WEEK

-my delicate yet flaming roomate made peanut butter fudge. however he used too much marshmellow, so it retains a molten state. it's like jesus's semen. jesus's peanut butter semen. maybe after a couple of hours, cuz it kinda has a GAK consistency

-today, me and my friend joel decided to just not go to work. it was dumb cuz we're already in trouble, but i needed some beauty sleep. and then we woke up and made omelettes and watched family guy and parts of the most magnificent porn i've ever seen, courtesy of joel's girlfriend sherm, called (i think) lady of the rings. if you can check it out, please do. god bless sherm's porn collection.
speaking of sherm, here is her cheating at a volcano neck contest with me
why can't i post pictures anymore

if i turned to the side like her, you would have seen me kicking her ass with my freakish anatomy. my neck, not my penis. perverts.




edited to add: just saw x-men 3. please. please. please. don't see it. so, so very bad.