so. it's time for the new addition. *does running man whispering ice ice baby for about 35 seconds until she starts actively ignoring me*

baltimore was great and thanks to all who made it possible. and yes, i'm about to post pictures. i know! maybe now people will write to me, instead of being scared off by the everpresent 9 paragraphs of whinging. but i'm optimistic right now. the times have gotten harder, the fights louder, the losses deeper. but the new territory is worth it. but enough talk. lets all look at pretty pictures of pretty people and giggle like school children in the night. except not like children of the corn or village of the damned or damned corn kiddies. or that little kid from pet semetary. or the problem child kid. anyway. how bad is it to throw up a mixture of frothy mucous and blood? just asking


remember when i said that i miss my baltimore dykes? here's one major reason why. i miss Krys baaaaaaaad. i know. i look special.

.
it was really good to see er again (jerk). and it was great to finally meet AvalonChase and her man, dan aykroyd. although notice the difference between here, and when she got ahold of my girl.


socially awkward my ass.........


it was great to see sabre (he's 6'9" for the folks playing at home) and anyanka again. she hopes to come back to the site when she can afford it. (hint fucking hint)


anyanka again and babyface bob. he is a brother to me and i miss his soul.


us being naughty


so the story is that i was telling a story, very animatedly (i know, me, right? weird) and in the part where i turned around quickly, i knocked my head on the corner of a wall in Brewer's Art. owww.


artists rendition of how that night ended


ignore the tourists in front and pay attention to the man that lives in girlysound's ear. now go to her page and give her some lovin. or a noogie. either way. she is my favorite noob.



fin

quick update:
thank you guys for your condolences. i appreciate it. and i also appreciate no one pointing out how pathetic and emo and whiny that last post sounded as far as "waaaah. i have to drive for a long time nothing could be worse than that. certainly not dying, or losing your mother while still in your 20's." to answer your question, my best friend in baltimore's mother died after a several month long battle with cancer. it was awful and hard but my friend was flabbergasted to see me and getting her laughing made the drive worthwhile. it was a tough drive, and i nearly lost control of the car a lot, but i really do believe that the recently deceased soul-train-elaine kept me alive on the drive there. anyway. i'll get back to some of you a little later if i can, but i will be in baltimore at least until the 19th. so call me or be at duclaw in arundel mills on friday night.

good news: i'm coming back to baltimore early.
bad news: its for a funeral. it's 10 pm i've been working for 10 hours and i'm about to drive 8 more so i can pretty much stop at my ma's for a bite to eat and shower and then it's funeral time for me!

i love life

and now, some lists.

still no word on the living situation. i've found a couple possibilities so we'll see. the trick is finding a place that is a) ridiculously cheap
b) close to either work or the woman, preferably the woman
c) does not require a year lease

i'm very excited about going back home in february. it will be a return covered in awesome sauce that i'm looking forward to mostly because
a) the last trip contained some really great times that actually made me miss baltimore
b) i will get to hang out with some people that i haven't seen for many a month and miss very much
c) i get to finally meet all the charm city sg members that i've been missing out on
d) its my mommy's birthday
e) i finally get to show off baltimore to my lover and show my lover off to baltimore

i need a smoothie, bitches. and this post will not be finished until i get one. in the meantime, do you have an stories/poems/songs/pictures/etc for indigo? if so do tell. also my roomate just walked in to see my cock in my girlfriend's hands. reason b for getting a smoothie

ok. now that that is done with.

twilight princess on the wii is my true mother. i have been suckling at her teet and have reached my full for tonight. so before i pass out i will shorten my planned rant to just an idea.

when i was younger, i sought liberal friends because i believed that they were more open minded. over the past few years i have noticed a growing trend to disprove this theory. maybe its not growing. maybe its always been there and its just a 20-something issue. but honestly, i am sick and tired of my close-minded liberal friends. i am tired of being grossly insulted and made a fool of for
a) having christian beliefs even a hair past agnosticism
b) not hating bush and thinking he's a COMPLETE fucking idiot
c) believing in several other things that i can't even talk about HERE for fear of alienating/pissing off/getting e-gnored by friends online

mini-rants

i enjoy the daily show. but people, its not the holy word and john stewart is not a god. it's frickin hilarious but it's uber-biased and if you're going to get into a political debate with me, cite a source outside of comedy central. there is news on other channels.

there's a often difference between christians, and people who think that they are better than everyone else and need to impart their ideas on yours. yes it happens. every religion has its assholes (see 9/11). however, what most non-christians don't seem to understand is that if your christian friend won't seem to shut up about god around you and keep trying anything to inspire belief or faith in you, it's probably not because they are a cock, or think that they are superior, its because they care about you. they want you to go to the same heaven-y place that they are hoping to go to. they want you to have the same comfort to fall back on. so please people. no matter how drunk they are, try and humor them.

by the way, totally different direction, but did anyone watch the same taping of the state of the union where it cut from bush to condy giving a very accurate donnie darko impression? i jumped. seriously.

i made my girlfriend read the story of O and some fierce but wonderful debates have sprung forth. and i also rediscovered one of my old poetry/short fiction anthologies from college and it is like screwing an ex from years past where you have both grown and gotten smaller in some places and larger in others and you've picked up many new tricks and are eager to share them with her and you don't know if it was always this good and you were just an idiot, or if it has gotten better because you are a grown man now and appreciate it more and understand it more love it more and you never ever sat and just held it for this long, studied it with such care and respect or looked at it so longingly and neither of you can believe how much longer the whole session is until finally you collapse because there's just nothing more to be done and you are covered in its essence and your essence and the taste of the two is so sweet and you won't stop smiling until you drift into a well deserved and satisfying sleep.............

just reminding you: indigo. go back to the beginning if you forgot what that means.

edited to add a recomendation and pictures.

first of all, go see pan's labyrinth. it is fucking fantastic.

and now, as promised some pictures


she overuses that


see? i'm so much better at it then her anyway


contrary to popular belief, neither us us have ingested any drugs, whatsoever


2 fast, 2 furious

grah.

i'm overdue. lets start with new year's eve.

it sucked. my lady was in florida so i walked to her roomate jackie's bar to find: jackie. i knew no one else. the party that was going to be there (made up of people that i knew, but was not friends with) was moved to the big gay club du jour so i sat there drinking by myself occasionally sharing comments with jackie while she served a bar of like 60 drunk frat boys and their underfed girlfriends. i did get a free breakfast though. honestly the highlight of the night was walking home. it was really beautiful out. lots of stars, with occasional clouds, real windy, but not too cold. i stumbled along the road for the 30 minute walk singing belting jeff buckley at the top of my lungs. at one point, while skipping and smoking. boo yah.

xmas break was fun except for one not so fun episode that was awful and terrifying and still wakes me up in a sweat or makes me stop what i'm doing and cry. but lets not go there just yet. otherwise i miss my bmore peeps and want to see more of them when i return in february.

i'm being kicked out. my roomate jeremy's asshole boyfriend finally came back and decided to increase his cockhood and once again threaten to leave jeremy if i don't leave. now understand this: we don't fight. we don't even not get along. he's just a brat and doesn't want to share attention in any way. before, when he would threaten this though, jeremy would say pretty much "then leave." but this time mike was gone too long and jeremy got lonely. this sucks. jeremy and i were hanging out a lot more and cooking and talking and it was nice having good roomate chemistry again. my girl says i can move in with her, but she has to get permission from jackie, her ex-girlfriend (eesh) and her brother (double eesh). and i hate to admit being this picky, but i don't want to move there. i liked the anal cleanliness of jeremy's place, and i liked my privacy, and my giant futon, and my own computer/tv/room/place to have sex not neighboring the wall of the brother of the girl i'm doing and other perks like that. sigh. but i wine. what do i care? as long as its not back to the boxes, eh?

personal life is in a downslope in general i spose. in the past two weeks i have lost several of my best friends to issues long past. this type of thing angers me, but saddens me more. the loss of a bond like that leaves me feeling weak and drained and less in touch with the world and myself. i hope they come around, but i'm not one to dwell either. and the ones that aren't splitting are too bogged down in their own crap to reach out. i really want to help but unless they ask for it..............

so following a post so blue, why don't you tell me a story of BLUE? cmon. pull up a seat. take off your shoes and tap one out won't you please? gnight folks

halfjack 2: electric bugaloo.

before we get into talking, give me something about green. song poem story picture anything. just make it about green, audience members.

here we go

back in bmore and let me tell you kids, its been a ball. this visit was great and really reminded me that home or not, baltimore is still the place i prefer to get down on. could i catch a wedding to a girl's self presided over by a priest suspended by hooks at any place other than the ottobar? me thinks not. (side note: the old ottobar is getting torn down and that makes me wanna hulk out. so much fucking history there. i wonder if i've thrown up there more than any other place ever...........) also, artsy studio parties are a dima a dozen, but no one beats the efforted weirdness of MICA dropouts. copycat parties will always make my genitals dance and giggle simaltaneiusljlhy i hate that word.

but alas its back to dayton in two days and i gotta tell ya, that sucks. i'm gonna level with you audience. me and my lady, not doing so well. now don't get me wrong i am head over heals for her but the fighting is getting out of hand. she ships out to grad school in the fall and by then i better know where is stand. cuz i sure as hell don't now. this chick is tricky. hard to put a bead on how much she really cares. and for don knot's sake those eyes are bewitching!


to make matters worse after a talk with an old friend of mine i realized i was even more a dope with the handling of a past relationship than i thought. a past relationship that refused to be completely q-tipped outta my head. that's all i gotta say.

oh the 20-something blues do grow. still don't know what i should be doing with my life and all that. i wonder if the second i get a car i'll just be out of town in 5. i'm getting restless again. i shouldn't though, right? i should learn to stay in one place and grow roots and be reliable and all that ferret shit? studio audience, you should know by now that i am not a perfect man. who know that after all this time it still takes so much effort just to be a man. as opposed to a lost boy with a liscence to drive a series of over-stuffed jalopies and a desire to commune (in more ways than 7) with women. more grumbling.

so is that a good winging for this session? i think i'm getting better at this personally. i mean it's a bit long, but i update like twice a month so i figure you can take it. i even put a picture in this time.

aaaaaaaaaaaand scene

i'm back. and this time, it's personal.

thanks to those who contributed to my triumphant return. you know who you are. it meant a lot. really.

what's new? not as much as i'd like to bring. but i'll try.

i couldn't get off for the post-thanksgiving fun, so instead of going home, i spent the whole week at my lady's house. it was kinda torture. but highlights were getting drunk with her mom, playing halo the second with her little brother, and cooking the turkey for the whole family. nerveracking, and not as good as last year, but still a success, considering her mom thought it was gonna be a disaster. i shut her up good.

me and lady are fighting constantly. i mean i've almost never been in a relationship without a lot of fights, but damn. this one is very taxing. and it doesn't help that we work together, and since she turned down the promotion, i am now her boss! me, boss of my raging feminist and stubborn gal. shudder. but i have high-igh igh hopes. and she is quickly becoming a worthy adversary of mine in Guitar Hero. and being stubborn and pig-headed and argumentative and adorable. like me.

my exes are getting married. it's weird. i wonder how many of the weddings i'll be invited to. already one has gone down that i wasn't invited. i don't know if we would've even worked out, but she was beautiful, popular, and very, very rich. so. yeah. there's a petty part of me that sniffles. "cheers, darlin. here's to you and you're lover boy..."

i wish i had some new pictures of me. i lost the large manly arms and legs since losing the electrical job (which is making me consider working out. which is very weird to me. but i liked being in shape. easier to climb things and carry people) but traded them in for a beard, a cane (my knees are just too bad these days for being on my feet all day) and a management position. I'M FRICKIN OLD! sometimes, when i try and get someone to do a survey at work, and they are rude to me, i shake my cane at them. picture that while you're touching yourself at night.

random thought: baltimore dykes are better than ohio dykes.

and now, if you've gotten this far: tell me a tale of YELLOW.

also, the wii is amazing. played it this mornin before leaving to go back to dayton. hopefully her little bro brings that shit up here

thank yall for your input on "enough," as well as the, ahem, like, 3 happy birthdays. bastards. i'm fucking famous, don't you know? its my birthday sluts! anyway.

so i did come home over the weekend. the day of my birthday kinda sucked. the only reason i came home was because my friend was running the red bull fluttag at the inner harbor and made me promise i'd come (even though it was on my birthday). soz i come home and lo and behold, the friends who said they'd take me didn't come for me, or call, or return my calls, still. bastards. pretty much all the days i was home sucked. but the nights were rock awesome, due largely to mis amigos arkane, einglaswein, and jamielee. and also my friend lauren. and lydia.
friday night i got drunk and saw amos lee and found out my sister was pregnant. later, i overused jamielee's cilantro.
saturday i got drunk and practiced yoga at an art gallery with einglaswein.
sunday i got drunk and was given a banjo and watched final destination 3.
monday i got drunk and saw a body paint burlesque show sponsored by tuaca. with a vip pass i drank for free.
tuesday i got on a bus.

it was eventful. and useless. but i needed that. just a long drinky weekend.

another update, for now, enough is not enough yet.

it's getting cold. fuck yeah. i love it so much. time to rotate cds.

now. tell me a story about orange. lets see if we can get some more this time

ok first off go help out Poison and vote for her.

moving on. i look at my friends list and i see a lot of grey names and even some names with a line through a middle. and some of these folks were my favoritest folks on this strange website. it saddens me quite a bit. particularly because i live so far away and i don't get to see them anymore either. here's one for me, and one for my grey homies.

this is something that i've never been able to figure out. when you are seeing someone, when is enough enough? i mean, at what point do you stop giving them another chance? how strong must your sensation of fedupness be before you walking away is acceptable and not chickenshit or too calous? your thoughts. please. i must have them. even the ones that have accused me of such things.

lastly, tell me a story about red.

finally saw snakes on a plane. i feel blessed.

looks like i officially won't be getting the electrician job back. at some point soon i will cry about it.

in the meantime i took a promotion at my shitty little side job. we'll see how it goes.

bitches still be triflin.

why am i in ohio now? what was the point of all this?

so. questions.

is there anything, anything at all, that you think you will always regret?

that'll do for now.