Here in nashville it is 8pm and i'm drunk off my ass on tequila. i've probably finished half a bottle by myself because i'm tired of being on the edge of tears. If someone looked up the definition of a dysfunctional family a picture of mine would probably be right next to it. I'm tired of feeling like a piece of shit because there is no work around here. Everything is closing down and I can't do anything. I quit work 2 years ago to help look after my disabled father and everyone gives me shit for it. On top of that every week my mother brings up divorce to my father. In all reality I wish they would get divorced so my dad and I could move away from all of this shit. I'm tired of having to hide my emotions around everyone except my father. I've been on the brink of suicide since I was 12 because of this shit and im tired of it. If it weren't for the fact that my dad needs me I would have given up a long time ago.
My own children have died and my best friends have been abused all because I couldn't protect them. What kind of man am I? I can protect nothing and support no one. In almost all aspects I contribute nothing to society and have nothing to give. I'm tired of sleepless nights and i'm tired of being worthless. In the end i'm too scared to do anything though. I don't want to move forward and I don't want to go back. What more does that make me than a shallow wreck of a man.
My own children have died and my best friends have been abused all because I couldn't protect them. What kind of man am I? I can protect nothing and support no one. In almost all aspects I contribute nothing to society and have nothing to give. I'm tired of sleepless nights and i'm tired of being worthless. In the end i'm too scared to do anything though. I don't want to move forward and I don't want to go back. What more does that make me than a shallow wreck of a man.
I sympathize.